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“everyone is mad at me and they just won’t tell me” —> “no one has said anything about being mad at me and i haven’t done anything to warrant being mad at so if someone is silently fuming about me and not saying anything that’s their problem and actually quite weird of them and i can effortlessly move on with my life”

this took SUCH a huge deal of unlearning because, like so many of you, i came out of a home where being quietly in trouble WAS the default state, and i DID grow up not just with the assumption but borderline religious conviction that Everyone Is Mad At Me, I Am Bad, I Must Exist In A Constant State of Attempting to Pacify The Natural Rage I Inspire In Everyone. and no it actually turns out that my family are the freaks . and yours are too

The heros journey keeps trying to get me but ive been unloading an entire clip of 9mm into every mentor that tries to teach me anything. Ive killed 7 wizards this way.

Refusal of the Call

Incorrigibly fascinated by Rob Zombie for the way he was a terminal dork who was into the right stuff at exactly the right time to become a successful rockstar that a lot of people thought was cool

the metanarrative of KH is nomura, through dilution, trying to find the right homeopathic dose of disney that will eventually allow him to spin off another FF7 style aesthetic vehicle while contending with the fact that disney actually does want disney characters in the disney game

nomura sending out collab requests for all the most human-shaped disney joints between bouts of slowly turning the dial that makes the shoes pointier and looking back at the audience to see when they notice like a guy who's found a lifesteal build that lets him stay on 0.25% health semireliably

that being said, love of donald duck feels like what this was all for

once you surpass your mentor you can do whatever you want to them

because of your blood-proof shower cap

because of my blood-proof shower cap

God forbid women do anything

I fucking forgot that Harry Potter ends with Harry going “I wonder if my slave will make me a sandwich”

everyone got taken out by the dogshit epilogue that this got buried but oh my god lol

[brian limond: I’m gonna say something to you right now that I’ve never said to another living soul in my life brian limond: *thick accent, high pitched gibberish* myugyan gyanHAyeten unyahehhhh dUNYON]