Stuff I Read

Kon: You shouldn't do that. How would you feel if I banged you on the table?

“I used what you taught me in class today-“

The GIW agent was trying to detain a number of his students for “high levels of ecto contamination.” The fact it seemed to be his entire homeroom class seemed odd, but Lancer had read the anti ecto acts. He knew what they said, and he knew what would happen if his students went with the agent

No one would see them again. Not him, not their parents, no one.

Jason: …babe what am I looking at

Lancer: absolutely nothing you never saw us I just need someplace to stash the wiggly ones while I go get supplies. Please forget me, it’s for the best.

Jason: ….’kay, I’m gonna need some answers later, but… “wiggly one’s”…?

Lancer: *hoists Danny up by the scruff of the neck*

Danny: *hisses*

Lancer: wiggly ones.

Jason: ……….kkkkaayyyyy babe changed my mind I’m gonna need that explanation now

Lancer: no, we don’t have time—

Jason: yeah uh-huh no that wasn’t a request

Paulina, in the back: ARE YOU TWO GONNA KISS?? GROSS

1: Suspiciously eyeing Jason. Why is this ghost/halfa/liminal dating his teacher? Is it a plot to get to him? Spectra tried being an employee, maybe the new plan to get close and hurt people is to date an employee. Well not on his watch! This 'Jason' guy is going to be so closely watched, Danny will learn his every secret. Every. Single. One. No one hurts his class + teacher!

2: Mr. Lancer is dating a ghost/liminal/halfa? Mr. Lancer protects them all from the anti-ecto acts? Does that mean Mr. Lancer and Jason could accept him? Jason just pulled a gun on a GIW agent. Yeah, could you sign right here? No, this isn't an adoption form, what are you talking about.

But Lancer deserves to know, it’s dangerous to date a former crime lord and also vigilante

People could try to hurt him to get to Jason

Then one day Lancer comes home from work with HIS ENTIRE CLASS OF STUDENTS and tells Jason he loves him but they’re going on the run from the government and it wouldn’t be safe for JASON to be seen with HIM

Jason’s actual first words (once he finds his tongue) are just “I love you”

Lancer assumes it’s gonna be a passionate plea to stay, to let Jason ruin his life along with theirs, he planned a whole soliloquy on the way here

(The kids helped, especially Paulina, he’s never known her to be so interested in english class)

Jason’s second words cut him off though as he just blurts out “I’m the Red Hood”

Lancer is speechless

Paulina and Star come in on the perfect tella novella GASP

The jocks all oooooo in unison because of course they’re all watching

Jason goes and pulls out his old helmet and reveals all his crime equipment on a secret revolving bookshelf or some shit he’s a nerd

Jason gestures vaguely and just. Asks what they need

Lancer grabs him by the collar, dips him, and kisses him like the climax of a disney movie

So after escaping and the whole identity reveal, and also wrangling Danny away from driving the bus because he thinks it's rge same as driving the Gav, I would feel that due to the time crunch they have to head stright to Wayne Manor since that's the only place that can house so many people on sort notice.

Jason barely has enough time to get all the into from the technology geeks in the group and send it to Babs that he pretty much calls Alfred at the last minute, like just goes;

Jason: "hey Alfred, ha to drop in unexpectedly but my boyfriend is on the run with his kids due to the government being scummy, we're going to crash at the manor okay? I'll handle everything, ive sent all information to Babs."

Then just hangs up and doesn't explain any further because of the whole 'minimum communication' trope, mostly due to panic.

So when they pull up Alfred is thinking maybe at most 3 or 4 kids might be coming through the door, like a good handful. Tim and Damian where waiting in the kitchen when Jason came in and gave the all clear.

Let's just say they where not expecting a whole class of 20 super powered kids that fear nothing to show up and start settling themselves in very quickly. Like already climbing every where and seeing who can hack the security systems the fastest.

For hells sake the one that looks almost like a mini Jason challenges Damian to a sword fight!

It's going to be a long night for sure.

Martha: *picking up her phone* Hello, this is the Kent residence.

Alfred: Good morning, Martha.

Martha: Alfred! So good to hear from you!

Alfred: I sincerely hope you still have that opinion once this call is over.

Martha: What? Alfred, what’s wrong?

Alfred: Not so much wrong as complicated. One of Master Bruce’s wards has had to rescue a group of endangered children…

Martha: Oh, dear!

Alfred: …and brought them to the mansion…all twenty of them…

Martha: Oh, DEAR!!!

Alfred: …and they are all at least meta adjacent. I know this is a terrible imposition but…

Martha: Say no more, Alfred! If you can’t send a plane for us, I’ll call Clark.

Alfred: *relieved sigh* Thank you, Martha. Master Bruce’s jet should arrive shortly. I will endeavor to keep the chaos contained until you arrive.

Martha and Jonathan finally got to the manor and found the sight admittedly amusing. None of the bats seemed to know what they were doing. And the class was, as far as they could tell. Just being their usual selves. A man was stood next to Jason looking relieved. But also tired. He looked up at the ceiling and sighed.

"Mr Fenton! If you don't come down right now! I will call Jasmine!"

A teen floated down sheepishly from the ceiling and say next to a pair of napping teens.

" sorry Mr Lancer! But! It's got such high ceilings! And it's just all so pretty! "

Jason grinned into Lancer's shouler, trying to middle his snickering.

"Don't worry love. Dickie-bird used to practise trapeze with the chandeliers. Danny's doing fine."

Martha and Jon shared an amused glanced then walked over to introduce a themselves. Martha coughed lightly to get their attention and smiled warmly.

"Hello! I'm Martha, this is my husband Jonathan. Y'all can call us Ma and Pa! We came over to help out. We've raised three fine lads with meta powers. So you won't spook us! "

Jon grinned as well. They all looked so young. And it hurt to had they were in danger. But at least they were safe now.

"As Martha said. Call me Pa! Now. We know kids with powers are always hungry. So we grabbed a load of stuff of our farm to cook y'all. Just let us know what you can't eat ok! "

As he thought, the idea of food brightened them all up a bit. He looked over to Alfred who looked. Not rumpled exactly, but a slight bit. Rushed perhaps. Well, he and Martha would be helping with that.

Danny but his lip a bit. And thought about it. 20+ kids and like 8 adults? That was a lot to cook for!

"Um! I'm not good at the cooking bit. But, I can chop and wash and pass thins when I'm told! Three a lot of us. Let us help?"

Alfred looked at the class. Most of them were looking over, clearly interested in his answer. And wekk. It really was a lot of people to cook for. Well.

" Well. If we are to do that . I may as well get Martha to help me teach you the proper steps. So, I suppose a quick wash for all of you. And then a cooking lesson hmm? "

The class all grinned and stood. Ready to be directed to various bathrooms. Mr Lancer looked over and nodded at Alfred.

"Thank you for that Mr Pennyworth. The last 2 years have been... difficult. And I've just found out why Mr Fenton was failing his classes. He was out local vigilante. Lord knows how little sleep he's had these past two years. "

Alfred smiled at his boys partner. He clearly cared for his kids.

"I'd say for not knowing you've done a good job. You risked your own life to save theirs. Your future too. Master Jason chose well. Young Mr Fenton clearly trusts you more than most. He would never have told you otherwise. "

Jason pulled his partner into a hug as he slumped. Clearly exhausted.

"Babe. We are going to sort this. I promise you they will be kept safe. Even if we have to adopt them ourselves yeah?"

Martha smiled at the sight and then chuckled.

Bruce:  *blinks several times as he takes in the 20+ new kids who are either wrapped up in a video game tournament with Tim and Duke, clowning around with Dick and Stephanie, sparring with Damien and Cass (or are they getting dance instruction...kinda hard to tell) or ferrying snacks out of the kitchen under the supervision of Alfred...and when did the Kents get here?*  What the....

Jason:  *waving from a couch where an unfamiliar man is napping on his shoulder*  Hey, B!  Welcome to Alfred Pennyworth’s Home for Wayward Meta Teens!

Bruce:  *sigh of relief*  Oh, so I’m NOT seeing things.

With pretty much everyone settling in to do their own thing Bruce settles down on a nearby chair, trying to process what the hell happened while he was physically out.

Do to the concussion information is only trickling in as he watched his own wards and the new children all play or help one another, he is slowly counting the number of new heads... And recounting them because of the number is right there are currently more then 20+ kids and a new man who is clearly just clinging to Jason at one point or another.

Bruce squints his eyes as Alfred hands him some pain meds and a glass of water, his foggy mind finally catching on what has had happened.

Bruce Wayne's son, Jason Todd, has a life partner and 20 kids...

HE WAS A GRANDPA TO 20 KIDS!!

Bruce in his now newly panicked mind was now in full grandparent mode, he was planning to learn all their names, birthdays, pretty much everything so he can spoil them rotten and send them back to Jason so he can deal with the chaos.

The reality of it all finally settled in as a young black haired girl, no more than the age of 12, climbed into his lap and with a big thoothy smile stares into his soul.

"So your our other grandpa? Sweet, I call dibs on the jet downstairs!"

Oh gosh! So that's Ellie, Jazz, Tucker's sister extra as a minimum. Bruce would be in awe. He has so many new children to spoil! Even if he is sure some will probably end up elsewhere. Ma Kent has been very clear on her desire to spirit them away as well.

The bat kids are loving the level of chaos. Jason, what did you DO? Wait, your partner did this?!?! Amazing!

Ma and Pa have been helping Alfred contain the chaos. Thankfully the manor is large. They can let the kiddos run around the expel energy. A few have hidden in the library. Some are in the pool. Danny and Ellie are... SomeWhere(probably the batcave). Tucker and Sam are thrashing everyone at gaming challenges.

Lancer is cooked out on Jason. Finally resting from the last days stresses. Cass is learning cheer routines, and showing them some ballet moves. Dick is teaching the younger ones acrobatics. Steph is watching the dance practise. And trying to be useful. Tim and Duke are part of the gaming marathon. Damian has retreated to his art room.

Bruce is still feeling very out ofnit. But so many kids! He is not currently allowed to help. So he gets to sit and talk to the free kids! And wow, Jaylad found a good man. He's a bit salty Jay hid it. But he knows now. And if his partner is the kind of man who would knock out two government agents and commit all manner of crimes just to protect his class? That's a pretty good indication of the type of man he is.

Alfred and the Kent's have been taking small groups of kids into the kitchens for cooking lessons. Rather than trying to cook one large meal they have been just making constant meals. And filling up the dining room with food to eat from. A sit down meal right now? Not going to happen. Danny, Jazz and Ellie have gone to help several times. They are going to learn cooking dammit!

And, Ellie found the dinosaur. She looks at Danny with big pleasing eyes. And he caves. So he losses it. When the bats go to get dressed for their night activities they are going to get the scare of a lifetime. Ellie has been playing with Danny ain a dinosaur suit. And Danny grabs her to 'eat' Ellie just as they walk in. And caused a heart attack.

Which of course leads to Danny popping out of the dinosaur like, "I'm sorry! We were playing! OmA are you ok? Lokk! Ellie's fine! "

"So how old are they?"

"17, they still have another decade before they're matured but they already so responsible for their ages" cue bats screaming due to the Danny's playing with a dinosaur.

Lancer: Depends on how liminal they are really. Sam and Tucker probably have another 20 years. Danny and Ellie won't be adults until they reach a few centuries. Luckily they do have a guardian on that front already.

Bruce: How long will their life span be?

Lancer: Oh, for the less liminal students probably double? The more liminal they are the longer though. So. Who knows.

Bruce: How are the being so well behaved?

Lancer: Well. They have been suffering constant attacks from ghosts and from the government. For the last two years. It's hardly surprising they are more mature than they should be.

Bruce: And until now it was just you?

Lancer: Sam's Grandmother helps as she can. Old spot fire that one. I shall have to tell her we are safe. If Sam hasn't already.

And then Tim sprints into the room.

Tim: Danny possessed the dinosaur! And I think Dick is having a breakdown because of it? I don't know? I just know he's frozen!

Danny and Ellie float Dick in between them sheepishly.

Danny: I didn't mean to break him!

Ellie: He only did it cause I begged him! I'm sorry!

Lancer sighs as he looked at them.

Lancer: Set my future brother in law down please? Thank you. He should be just fine. Now. Maybe go help in the kitchen again? I believe Mr Pennyworth is baking cookies. And Mrs Kent is making pies.

The two ran off excitedly as he shook his head fondly.

Lancer: Always into everything. Completely incapable of sitting still those two. And Poor Ellie. She's actually a clone you see. Very little life experience. Danny can't help but indulge her.

Bruce: So, she should be a baby?

Lancer: She's about 18 months now. So yes.

Bruce: It's good she has people who care then.

Jason: Uh, not to break this up? But babe? One of our kids is stuck in the roof? Paulina? Yeah she got spooked, grew wings. How do we coax her down?

Lancer: Call for Star. She will be your best bet.

Jason bent over and gave him a quick kiss before running off.

Bruce: Wings?

Lancer: Possessed by a magic amulet. So now She can turn into a dragon. Of all the beasts it could have been.

Bruce: Well. At least the manor has the room! Any other notable powers?

Lancer: Hmm. Well, Danny and Ellie have the usual ghost abilities of course. Dash has a measure of strength and speed beyond even the usual liminal amount.

Sam: I have plant powers!

Tucker: Technopathy! And uh, Eygyptian magic. I'm a reincarnated Pharoh. So...

Kwan: Super speed. And uh, density shifting?

Sam: Star can become animals.

Tucker: Everyone else has like, improved speed, strength, durability and healing as well? Like thats...

Sam: Standard liminal package yeah. Oh! We get extra spooky on Samhain!

Tucker: Glowing eyes and all!

Sam: Oh yeah! I forgot. Most of us have fangs!

Kwan: Oh yeah. Extreme bite force. Not as bad as Danny though!

Sam: Ohh! When him and Ellie grew in their fangs was a nightmare!

Bruce looked at Lancer who looked pained.

Bruce: Dare I ask?.

Lancer: Danny can chew metal. And did chew on rocks to help while teething.

He pulls out his WTP and glances at the text (pointedly ignoring Alfred’s glare - he IS supposed to be on “minimal mental labor” given his concussion) as well as the link Babs has included to a seldom frequented government website...and blanches.  He hands the phone to Mr. Lancer.  “This is what set you and your class on the run?”

Lancer takes the phone and skims the screen.  He sighs and hands it back, once again slumping against Jason’s shoulder.  “Yes,” he says shortly.  Jason rubs his back.

“Don’t sweat it, babe.  We WILL be taking care of it.”  He glares up at his adoptive father.  “Isn’t that right, B?”

Bruce nods, a sharpness in his gaze that is seldom seen without the cowl.  “Yes, We will.  But, given your class’...talents and potential lifespan...” he winces as the post concussion headache decides to send a spike of pain to the back of each eye, “do you mind if I contact a few more potential mentors?  As far as my family is concerned, I say ‘the more the merrier’, but I don’t want to chance anyone falling through the cracks as it were.”

Lancer gives him a measuring look.  “Do you trust them?”

Bruce smiles.  “With my life.  And, more importantly, I trust them with my kids’ lives.”

Lancer looks at Bruce for a few more moments, then at Jason who nods reassuringly.  “Ok.  Managing 20+ teens is herding cats in normal times, but when they’re also liminal...”

Bruce leans over to give both Lancer and Jason a hug.  “You’re now in a community that will help and protect you.  Leave it to us.”

Ellie: Are we really that difficult?

Marvel: No! I just.. I don't want to mess up! I don't know how!

Danny: Can we at least be friends? Cause, then when we are grown ups!

Ellie has grabbed his hand, looking up with big teary eyes. Billy is sweating. And. He drags the kids off to Diana.

Marvel: This one is crown Prince of the Infinite Realms! He should study with you!

Danny puffed up like a startled cat.

Danny: How do you know that! I didn't tell anyone?

Marvel: It's on your aura! So! Princess Diana if the best option for you two! I can help! But i don't have experience teaching, and I'm not royal.

Everyone stared at the small group after Marvel's loud exclamation. And well, he is right.

Bruce: Does that make Ellie a Princess? What about Jazz?

Danny nodded glumly.

Danny: Yeah. I beat up the old tyrant. So I made us all royal by accident.

Ellie: The treasury has some cool stuff in it at least?

Danny: Yeah but I'm pretty sure most of its stolen, or war prizes or cursed.

Diana smiled at the young ones.

Diana: I would be more than happy to mentor the both of you. I know J'onn was hoping to help as well.

Ellie immediately switched targets and had taken to following Diana around like a duckling. J'onn also had a small following of his own. None of the children seemed phased by his appearance. But when a few showed their liminal changes more openly? Well that made sense.

The children, when not controlling How they looked had a range of interesting skin tones, and hair colours. Not to mention the ears and teeth. Add to that the shape shifting students? No, they would not be out off by J'onn.

All of the other heroes were thoroughly charmed by the class. And each one had dropped by Jason and Lancer to congratulate him for keeping them safe. Jason's partner looked, overwhelmed at the support. Which a few of the kids seemed to notice. The class would drift past giving him quick hugs every so often. Yes, Jason definitely found a good partner.

Bruce had been hoping these kids would be the ones to get Marvel into being a mentor. There was definitely some reason he wouldn't. Why he seemed so uncomfortable with the idea. But he could work on that later.

Right now they had to work on those laws. And the first thing was getting them to be known. Clark and Lois were both very excited to get stuck into it. Hmm.. He should offer to put Jon and Kon up for the time being. Let them really go for it. Two more kids would not be an issue. Especially now they had some more adults around. Not that Kon seemed willing to leave just yet.

Young Justice: *at a bar, undercover.*

Tim: *making out with a guy*

Kon: *pointing at his teammate, gaping*

Kon: Cassie, what is going on there?!

Cassie: Uh, they’re making out.

Kon: But..

Cassie: But what?

Kon:

Kon: THATS AN OPTION?

——

Young justice: *After the mission is over*

Kon: Tim, make out with me immediately.

The rest of the team:

If batman and Danny phantom were in the same universe Jason Todd would fall head over heals in love with mr lancer

The man swears in Jane Austen novels and has a level of weird tolerance that pushes even bat limits.

!!warning this one is a bit gruesome and grim.

Nightwing watched the agent twitch on the ground, unconscious body still jolting from where Nightwing had jammed his escrima stick into it. He tilted his head as he considered another blow.

“Phantom will not be happy if you kill anyone,” Raven urged. She rested her finger tips on his arm.

“They deserve it.”

“Yes. But Phantom will not be happy.”

Nightwing took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Right. Let’s press forward. The next room should be one of the larger labs.”

And it was.

And God it was.

Be there. Please still be there. Please still have a soul a core that thing that made Phantom Phantom inside that broken body.

Nightwing was beside the table without even registering it. Phantom is laid out—his insides are splayed out—split open in a deep Y that is only able to stomach because of what Phantom is. Nightwing rests a shaking hand on Phantom’s cheek. He doesn’t move.

“Synonymá… prosím…” Nightwing whispered.

But of course Phantom doesn’t move.

Because that deep Y is hollowed out.

“Nightwing? Is he…”

“They took his core,” Nightwing bit. “Find them. Take the others and find them. Take the core back and them. And then make them regret ever having lived.”

*extra points if he's related to J'ohn, I'm not picky but please grandpa J'ohn if you will*

- ✒️

"What do you mean?" Danny cut in, cutting off Frostbite's words.

Clockwork looked up from the magazine he was reading. Danny knows because he kept glancing at him throughout the appointment, waiting for answers to the questions Frostbite asked. It's not that Danny didn't know what to say; it just felt like whenever he had a medical appointment, all knowledge of his own body vanished from his mind.

It happened a lot whenever his mom went with him to the human doctor, too. Clockwork wasn't like his mom, who was more than happy to answer for him. The time being, just waved a hand at Danny dismissively when Frostbite started with "so what brings you in today?" and pulled out a magazine, doing a cover-story exclusive with Speed Force on the topic: The shocking truth of time-altering with mortals. Clockwork had been looking forward to this issue for weeks.

He hadn't resurface from between the pages as Danny waited in silence before he realized Clockwork was expecting Danny to speak. He fumbled at first, but over the course of the appointment, he relaxed enough to give proper answers instead of hesitant, almost doubtful one-word replies.

This was just to establish Frostbite as his main provider as his Ghost Doctor, though Frostbite preferred to be called a Healer, and everything was going well. They drew some ectoplasm a few days before his actual appointment to run some tests, and everything looked good.

Until Frostbite was reading the results towards the end of thier appointment, and the yeti started discussing his genetics.

"What do you mean?" Danny repeats, blinking owlishly as Frostbite flips to the last page on his clipboard. "I'm fully human-er as human as a Halfa can be."

"Well, there is no question about your living and dead stage, but according to our lab results, you are not only human," Frostbite explained, handing over the clipboard to Danny. There are a lot of words and numbers that he doesn't understand, mostly because Danny was pretty sure he was fighting a persistent ghost that entire unit in biology and missed most of the lessons. He did, however, understand the conclusion part.

Half Earthling. Half Martian.

Martian.

Frostbite thought he was part Martian.

"This is wrong," Danny tells the yeti. He starts swinging his legs from where they dangled over the edge of the examination table. The paper that was laid over the padding wrinkled loudly with his movement, belying how nervous he was. "I'm not adopted, and both my parents are full humans."

"Perhaps your parents aren't aware they are martian." Frostbite offers gently. He places one large paw on his shoulder, gently squeezing Danny as if to offer him strength. "Or despite you not being one of theirs by blood, they always saw you as thier son and saw no reason-"

"Oh, this was due to your accident in the Fenton Portal. Your DNA was spliced with the floating Martian DNA, as that was during the Martian mass extinction. Since there was so much death at once, it was slower changing into ectoplasm and was stuck between worlds when you punched a hole between the Realms and the mortal plane," Clockwork explained, reading over Danny's shoulder in his child form. He twirls his staff at his side, as if he is preparing to lead a marching band, before he swings it towards a wall.

In an instant, a large pocket watch zaps into existence. It flips open, its arms twirling rapidly, until the watch's face vanishes and an image of Danny's accident appears. He watches himself carefully slip on the hamate suit and take a few steps into the portal. Sam and Tucker were in the right corner of the scene, exactly as he remembered it, even the detail of Sam holding her camera ready to snap a picture of the dare that forever changed his life.

Danny: Yes, sir.

Alfred: It helps to drop off a plate of snacks on Fridays. The children love it.

Danny: Are there any dietary restrictions I should know about?

Alfred: Master Tim is allergic to shellfish, and Master Damian is lactose intolerant. Miss Cass tends to avoid gluten-

Bruce: Ugh? Alfred who is this?

Alfred: Oh, Master Bruce. I didn't see you there. This is Daniel Fenton. My great-grandson.

Bruce: I- your what?

Alfred: My great-grandson. You remember my daughter, right? She had a child when she was fifteen that I never knew about. She put the girl up for adoption under my ex-wife's insistence. That child was Madeline, who went on to have children of her own. Daniel, here, is her youngest.

Bruce: I see. It's wonderful to meet you, Daniel.

Danny: You can call me Danny. Thank you for letting me stay here.

Bruce: Oh, of course. *shooting Alfred a confused look*

Alfred: Danny is a a situation green four.

Danny: I'm a what? What does that mean?

Bruce: You're part of this household now. That's what that means. Want me to show you around?

Danny: ugh, no, Great-Grandfather is already doing that.

Bruce: Alright! Have fun! I have some work to do but let me know if you need me. *walks away*

Danny: Did he seem nervous to you?

Alfred: No, he looks like that all the time. Master Bruce has a reputation you can say.

Danny heard everything about airhead Brucie: I guess that makes sense.

Meanwhile in Bruce's office:

Bruce hiding under his desk calling Dick: I'm serious. Alfred called him a situation green four!

Dick: *horrified gasp* Are you safe?

Bruce: Probably. The boy is young. I think Alfred is going to sick him onto Tim or Duke.

Dick: B. Listen to me. Get out of there. Get out of there now. I'll warn Tim and Duke.

Karlach 🔥

Superman, knowing that Jason is just fucking with him at this point: "..."

Superman, finally losing his patience: "Let me tell you something, Red Hood."

Red Hood: "What."

Superman: "You may be playing chess, but I'm fucking your mom."

The Justice League: 😦

Batman: 🤦🏻‍♂️