UVFan

Tim: He’s not into men, Cassie.

Cassie: *raises eyebrow*

Cassie: Are we talking about the same Kon right now?

Tim: Yes! He’s had, like, several partners and they were all women!

Cassie: Okay but have you seen how he dresses though?

Tim: You can’t just base sexuality off their clothing!

Cassie: When it comes to Kon you can.

—

Bart: Okay but the hand placement?

Tim: What do you mean?

Bart: He had his arm literally around your waist.

Tim: So? It’s normal.

Bart:

—

Tim: *staring at Kon*

Cassie: Stop that.

Tim: Huh?

Cassie: Don’t yearn when you can have.

Tim: But I can’t have.

Cassie: Did you literally not see the wink he gave you?

Tim: Yeah, but it was just a friendly wink.

Cassie: Your mind is an interesting place, Tim.

—

(After Kon gave the most emotional— definitely platonic— speech to Tim)

Tim: Aw, you’re such a great friend.

Bart:

Cassie:

Kon, sighing:

In the mood for silly little Bruce and his children during a gala.

Bruce, pushing Dick forward: and this is my eldest, Richard. My pride and joy.

Dick, who just got there and separated from his siblings: ??

Bruce:

Socialité, expecting an introduction: Uh...

Dick, also expecting it: Uhm, dad?

Bruce, shrugging: That's it. Honestly no idea who they are, just wanted to bloat about you.

Dick, fist over his mouth, emotional mess:

Bruce, turning on his heels and leaving:

---

Bruce, tired smile, nodding along:

Socialité, enjoying Bruce's attention: And so-

Jason, approaching to save his ass: Hey, old man-

Bruce, jumping with a gasp and pressing a hand on his chest, looking at the ceiling: Jason? Son?

Socialité: ??

Jason: ??

Bruce, cleaning a fake tear: Sometimes I still hear his voice... Excuse me, I- I need to-

Bruce, giving his drink away and leaving while dramatically covering his mouth:

Jason, shocked laugh:

Socialité: Wasn't this your reintroduction to socie-

Jason, hand up, blocking them while full on belly laughing: Yeah, no. I think my dad is crying, gotta go check on him.

---

Tim, surrounded by snobby people:

Tim, spotting Bruce in the public, waving his arms over his head: DAD! DAD, HEY DAD! DAD, HERE!! DAAAAAAAD!!!

Bruce, recognizing a call for help, also waving back: TIM! TIMBO BABY! TIM, I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!

Socialité, looking between them both: You're literally right next to each other...

Bruce, still yelling, hand next to his mouth, the other pointing to the balcony: FIND ME OUTSIDE! I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING!!!

Tim, right in front of him, yelling back: BE RIGHT THERE, WAIT FOR ME!!

Bruce, leaving:

Tim, signaling towards Bruce: Excuse me, my dad called for me.

Socialité: I KNOW?! I was RIGHT here???

Tim, leaving:

---

Dick, running after Jason: Jay! Have you seen Bruce?

Jason, looking around: No. I was actually searching for him.

Dick, laughing: I think he and Tim just made a fool of themselves.

Jason, chuckling: I mean, he did pretend I was a ghost to get away before, so.

Dick: No way! He's enjoying this way too much.

Jason: I had forgotten how much fun he has messing around with them. Kinda sad I'm not part of this world anymore.

Dick, clasping his shoulder: You do realize you will have to be here more often, right?

Jason: what?

Dick: I mean. You ARE legally back to life.

Jason:

Bruce, smirking at him from the balcony:

Bruce, raising his cup at him:

Jason: motherfucker...

--

Cass, sitting on the balcony rail:

Tim, loosening his tie: Why is there so many people today

Bruce, sighing and helping him take it off: It's Jaylad's comeback to society. People saw it as a chance...

Cass, swinging her feet: Hate rich people.

Tim:

Bruce:

Cass, panicking, waving her hands in front of her: EXCEPT DAD AND TIM! EXCEPT DAD AND TIM!!

--

Damian, joining Dick and Jason: Where's father?

Jason, sighing and pointing to the balcony:

Damian, frowning: Again? Is he with Drake and Cain?

Dick, amused smirk: Does he do that often?

Damian, crossing his arms: Often is an understatement. Every. Single. Time.

Dick, giggling:

Damian: He ALWAYS do something stupid. Last time, Cain pulled his sleeve and called him "Dad"

Jason: So?

Damian, grumbling: He covered his mouth, yelling "Oh my god, her first words!!", grabbed her as she laughed and ran to the car.

Dick, chuckling: Oh my god

Damian: Drake pretended to be super emotional and ran behind them screaming something about not having that on video or whatever.

Jason, amused laugh:

Damian, exasperated arm's throw at the air: We were talking next to Lucius and other people who knew us!!

Dick, barely breathing:

Damian: THEY LEFT ME WITH THEM!

Jason, laughing out loud:

--

Duke, opening the curtain and stepping to the balcony: There you all are!

Tim, hurrying to pull the curtains: Close it, close it!

Duke: ?

Cass, smiling from her spot at the rail: Hiding.

Duke, frowning at Bruce, hands on his hips: Again?

Bruce, next to Cass, shrugging:

Duke, sighing: I don't know why they keep trying to glaze you. You clearly enjoy their suffering more than their company. They must realize that.

Bruce, pointing at himself: Disgusting billionaire?

Duke: ... Right. This is why I hate rich people.

Tim:

Bruce:

Duke: You KNOW I don't include you both on it, come on!

--

Dick, knocking at the window: Can we?

Jason, pulling the curtain fully open: Fuck it, we can.

Tim, screaming like the woman from Psycho: NOOOOOO!

Socialité, pointing: THERE!

Damian, using his size to get away:

Duke: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?

Tim, turning around: Bruce! We have to-!

Duke:

Tim:

Dick: No way...

Jason: Did they...

Dick: No way!

--

Bruce, crouching behind a bush:

Cass, right next to him:

Bruce: We are never speaking of this, ever again.

Cass, nodding:

Damian, poking his head over the bushes: Baba, can we go now?

Bruce, rising up and cleaning himself: What about your siblings?

Damian, shrugging: Dealing with the socialites?

Bruce, sighing: I can't believe I jumped.

Cass, already up, patting his arm: Reflex.

Bruce: I know, but. God, that was embarrassing. They are going to be so mad.

Damian: I thought it was pretty cool how you both vanished.

Bruce, covering his face: It was the fifth floor!

Damian, tilting his head: ?

Cass, giggling:

Bruce: How do I excuse my exit?

Damian, waving it off and dragging Bruce to the parking spot: Who cares? Nobody would have noticed. They will be too focused on winning over Todd.

Cass, at his other side, also dragging him: Let's go. Wanna cocoa at home?

Bruce, sighing: Sure, let's. Let's make enough for them for when they come home.

--

Dick, kicking the front door: HOW COULD YOU?!

Jason, throwing his suit's jacket to the floor: THAT WAS HORRIBLE!

Tim, sitting on the couch's armrest: Kinda impressive you dared to do that in the middle of an event.

Duke, thanking Damian as he gets his chocolate:

Damian, sitting on the sofa next to Duke: Father was incredibly regretful.

Dick, plopping himself over Bruce's back: I thought you were so proud of meeee!!

Bruce, turning to pull him over the coach and into his lap: I am. Incredibly so. You all fill me with love and joy.

Dick, letting himself be dragged: ... Unfair. I can't be mad anymore.

Jason, pointing: BUT I AM! You left us alone there!! We had to call an Uber!

Bruce, frowning: What? Why? We went in two cars. You four fitted ok on Tim's.

Tim, leaving:

Duke, sipping at his cup:

Dick, gaping:

Jason, yelling and walking after Tim: YOU TOLD US TO TAKE A SEPARATE UBER NOT TO CAUGHT TOO MUCH ATTENTION!!

Dick, slowly rising and glaring at Duke: You knew...

Duke, avoiding his eyes behind his cup: Tim's car is a smaller one.

Dick:

Duke: It would have been so uncomforta-

(Edited bc I keep forgetting I have 2 tags for those two possessive jerks)

I started this fully intended to be just a list and suddenly I was writing a whole ass paragraph on Tim's nickname. At the end I said fuck it, everyone gets their paragraph. So, this is on you, anon.

They each have their nicknames. Those unique ways Bruce calls for them, and only them. And fuck if anybody else wants to call them that way, that's Bruce's right alone, just like it's theirs own privilege and theirs only. Seriously. Fuck anyone who tries to use it in any context (You can ask Kon for the time he called Tim Sweetheart and got an attempt of a bite in response. Don't worry, he avoided it, Tim's teeth are fine~).

"Ow! What the fuck, jerk!?"

"Was hoping to wake up"

"Pinch yourself?!"

"Nah. M'not into pain"

Roy's chair faced against the entrance. He had his body half turned to them, his head thrown over the chair. He frowned at the pair.

"Your kids are such weirdos"

Bruce mumbled something from where his face pressed against the table, lifting a hand, dismissively waving it around.

"What's wrong with him?" Dick moved with worry.

"Oh, nothing. He's just wasted" Roy shrugged.

Jason hit Dick once more

"JASON, FUCKING STOP!!"

Bruce grumbled something.

"Language." Roy tilted his head. "I think. Maybe? I'm not that good on bat..."

"He doesn't drink..."

"But he did. A LOT"

Richard jumped backwards, avoiding the fist.

"YOU NEED TO STOP!"

"How else am I suppose to know this isn't a dream!?"

"You're just making excuses, now"

Jason ignored him, turning to Roy. "Why is he drunk? No. Why are you here? Answer that one first"

Roy smiled. "What, scared I came to seduce Bruce awa-? Ok, geez SORRY! That's a joke! Man, you guys are such possessive freaks"

"Roy..."

"I swear to god, I love you. But I WILL kill you if you say that shit again"

"... Man you guys are weird" Roy grabbed his glass. Clear liquid. He drank from it. "I came to vent"

"Vent?"

"With Bruce?"

"I mean. He's the only one who could understand what I'm going through with Lian, so-"

"You mean...?" Dick gestured for him to keep going.

"The whole being a vigilante shit?" Roy covered his mouth and whispered a soft "sorry, B" to the mass of a person lying on the table. "The whole vigilante -"

"Why B?"

"... What do you mean?"

"Why pops? You could have vented to anyone else?"

"Yeah. I mean. If what bothers you is your child being a vigilante, you could have gone to Superman or I don't know-"

Roy barked a laugh "SUPERMAN? Right. I should go about my concerns about my child made of weak human skin and bones to the semi god..." He looked to the ceiling "If you're hearing us, Clark. Sorry. But also, stop being a psycho and don't eavesdrop on Bruce anymore"

Dick and Jason exchanged looks.

"...Ok. So tati was the better option."

Roy lifted an eyebrow to the endearing name, but out of respect he kept quiet. "Yes. He has gone through this, how many times?" Bruce raised up an open hand. "Geez. I'm sorry"

"Ok. Sure. But why is he drunk?" Jason softly moved behind Bruce, placing his hand under the forehead plastered against the table. "SO drunk? Why?"

"Well" Roy shrugged "I wanted to drink"

"You can't drink" Dick narrowed his eyes at him.

Roy lifted the glass with clear liquid. "And I didn't. Water."

Jason looked down at his dad. "Mother- DID HE DRANK IN YOUR STEAD?!"

Roy smirked and took a long sip. "You have no idea how much he told me"

"You got our dad drunk?!"

"He offered! I was going to pretend to drink along, and he was all nice and comprehensive, saying that I could feel the relief of serving the glasses and he drinks so fast! And he was so nice! Did I say that already? And he's really soft and proud and... Are you sure you don't need a stepfa- FUCK!"

Roy jumped backwards towards the door, avoiding the bottle and the glass flying at him.

"OUT!!"

"DIE IN A HOLE!"

"Tell him to call me when he's sober!" He snickered as he ran "We can bond again over our rebellious children!!" Was heard as his steps vanished in the halls.

The pair had to catch their breaths for a second, before turning to help their father.

"S' a g'd kid." Bruce's head hung to the side as he drunkenly smiled at them.

"Tati!"

"Oh, good, he's movin'"

"I lllike 'm. S'a g'd friend of 'urs"

"Was"

"Yeah. That fucker is banned forever"

"Don't you dare pout at us, young mister!"

"Dick... No"

"I always wanted to call him that"

"Fuckin' shut it and help me lift him. He's dead weight right now"

"Roy will be dead weight next time I see him"

"That made no-"

"Mmh"

"I swear to god, Jason. If you lift that hand- FUCKING PIECE OF-!!" Richard screamed, clutching his abused arm.

Jason completely ignored him, moving around the pool.

"Don't you think that lately you'be spending too much time over here?"

Roy lifted his sunglasses, grinning at the incoming pair.

"Oh, you have no idea. I honestly think you both don't spend enough time here with dad"

"Excuse me?"

"With who?"

"Oh, sorry. I meant daddy- FUCKING HELL, JASON! You have such a heavy hand!"

"Right?! I've been saying!"

"Ok. But WHY are you here, Roy?"

Roy leaned back on his chair, pulling back down his sunglasses.

"I was being honest, guys. You are the ones that don't spend enough time here." He smiled, grabbing the glass next to him. Dick covered it with his hand "Chillax, Robs!" Dick flinched. "Is a virgin Piña Colada" He flicked Richard's hand away, taking a long sip from it. "Fuck, Bruce does amazing drinks"

"Do you like it?" Bruce stepped out of the pool with a relaxed expression, grabbing the towel and drying his arms

"..."

"Roy, I swear to god..."

"Bruce. I think you should go inside the pool and step out aga- FUCK, JASON!"

"Last warning, Harper"

"Then why won't you go hit Oliver?! He's literally drooling over there!!"

"Who?"

"Where?"

"I was wondering why they never greeted me..."

Bruce laughed, pushing Roy's legs away and sitting on the chair. Roy straightened, making his back click.

"Ollie!! Ten rounds at the pool!"

"What do I get from this?"

"Winning over a much younger male?"

"... This shouldn't entice me so much"

The trio watched them leave and get into positions at the border. Dick laid where Roy had been, kicking his feet over Bruce's lap.

"So. Why weren't we invited to this party?"

Bruce smiled, pulling from Dick's toes. "I wanted to give them a reason to spend time together."

"Doesn't he always go to Ollie's house?" Jason pushed Dick's legs, sitting right next to Bruce and taking the towel from his hands. "Lean down"

Bruce leaned, allowing him to dry his head "It's not the same when there's other people- Wait. Why are you drying my hair?"

Dick laughed "Did you just let him do whatever without questioning?"

"I-"

"Stay still, old man. You're not going back to the pool"

"I'm with Jay here. There was no need for it to be a pool party"

Bruce pushed the towel away when Jason became to rough "Stop- stop! It was Ollie's idea"

"Of course"

"Of course"

"I bet you invited them for a barbeque"

"I-"

"And Ollie insisted on the pool"

Jason laughed "Bet he even chose your swimsuit"

"... It was actually Roy who chose it"

"..."

"..."

"I know a good spot"

"I can make sure nobody misses him"

"Please don't kill your friend"

As is on cue, Roy came running to them.

"Bruce, I won!"

Oliver moved behind him, dragging his feet. "Fucking youth and their fucking bones"

Bruce smiled at Roy. "Good job, kid"

Roy beamed. Dick and Jay looked at each other.

"We don't need more siblings"

"Yeah, Roy. We love you, but-"

"I don't love you."

"Jaylad..."

Dick glared at him "But! You have your own-"

Oliver lifted his hand, stepping between them. Interrupting Dick's words "Excuse me. But, have you thought that he's not looking for a new parental figure?"

Dick glared. Jason looked frighteningly calm. Bruce sighed. "Oliver..."

Roy looked at Bruce, smirking.

"Hey, B?" Bruce looked up "Ain't you too dry?"

Before the trio could react, Roy bended forward and shook himself, making droplets fly everywhere.

Jason and Richard jumped back, screaming bloody murder. Bruce just closed his eyes, slightly tilting his head.

Bruce slowly lowered down the documents he had on his hands and looked straight at his son's eyes. "... What?"

"I need a hug. So I'm going to hug you."

The rest of the League just gaped while the new recruit got up from his seat - in the middle of the meeting, must add -, walked quickly and confidently towards the Bat, stopped right in front of him, and opened his arms.

"... Red Robin?"

"Hug! Now!... Please?"

At that, Bruce quickly let go of the papers, some of them not making it to the table, and opened his own arms, allowing the vigilante to jump right on his middle.

They all stared in shock-

Bruce owly blinked at his eldest while he strode to his side. "Di-?"

"How could you do this to me!?" Dick grabbed him by the shoulders, shaking him back and forward "I came first!!"

Bruce had to let go of the documents, raising his hands to grab at his son's. "Dick, I need you to start explaining - please, stop" Dick kept shaking him, honest to god tears in his eyes. "Chum, please. You're making me dizzy"

"You gave birth to me first!! I should have hugs priority"

"Chum. Chum, please. That's- too much to unpack. Please. Stop. Richard!"

Dick stopped all at once, releasing his shoulders and staring at him.

"Ok, now." Bruce took a breath, shaking his dizziness away. "Slowly explain to me-"

"YOU HUGGED TIM IN FRONT OF EVERYONE IN THE JL!!"

"Wha-"

"HE'S BEEN SHOWING OFF THE FOOTAGE!! YOU'RE THE WORST!!" He whined, crying at the ceiling, head thrown backwards, his arms limp at his sides.

Bruce's heart tightened, remembering the small kid that came to his life, making the same tantrums at least thrice a week.

"Chum-" He tried to comfort him, standing up for a hug.

"YOU NEVER HUG MEEEEE!!"

"Oh, Dick. I'll hug you in front of everyone at the next meeting. Is that okay with y-?"

"Ok, deal!" Dick turned to face him, big smile and dried tears, before turning on his heels and jumping away.

Bruce stood frozen, arm in the air, blinking at the empty space his son had left. Feeling utterly foolish. He remembered again the same outcome every time his nine year old made tantrums and how he always fell for them.

He barked a laugh, sliding a hand on his hair.

Next meeting, Nightwing stood next to him, huge smile plastered across his face, swinging on his heels. Waiting patiently until the meeting was almost over to clear his throat.

When Bruce sighed and rose up to hug him, Tim stood up pointing with an accusatory finger to his brother "That doesn't count! You manipulated your way around it!!"

At some point during his relaxing time, Jason entered the library without any word. Just strong, confident steps, barely acknowledging his presence, and after a couple of seconds of rummaging through the shelves, he sat down with a book.

They stood in comfortable silence for about ten minutes, before Jason stood up and started pacing around. Bruce tried to pretend he didn't notice, afraid to interrupt whatever miracle was going on.

Suddenly, Jason's steps stopped in front of him. Bruce had closed the book and watched as the young man crossed his arms and bit down the corner of his lips, pulling some dry skin with his teeth. Always looking down at Bruce.

Bruce then remembered the forgotten tea cup, now obviously cold, and tried to focus himself on it. Allowing his son to organize his thoughts. But 5 minutes had passed. And Bruce had hated himself for teaching his children so many stealth techniques, because Jason was so quiet that Bruce was sure that as soon as he looked away, he would disappear like an illusion.

He tried to make no sound when the cup touched the ceramic plate. Then took a grounding breath and called for the young man.

"Jay-"

"Dick showed us this video"

No. He did not jump when Jason suddenly talked, abruptly cutting the silence. He's Batman. He doesn't get jumpscared by his children.

Jason frowned at him. "A video?" Jason nodded. "Of... me?" Another nod. Great. What did I do this time? His son stopped nibbling at his lips and focusing in... Glaring? At him. "I see. What did you see in that video?"

Jason shrugged. "Nothin' much." He tilted his head, focusing the wall behind Bruce "He was just showin' off." Bruce closed his eyes frustrated at the lack of information. He pinched the arch of his nose.

"Ok. Showing off. Showing off what, Jay?" Jason started looking around, arms still crossed. Doing his best nonchalant impression.

"Just. Y'know" Bruce tried to take a deep breath. No. I fucking don't.

"No, I don't know, Jay. Please explain to me"

Jason grunted, throwing his head back and raising his arms. "C'me on! I ain't gonna ask for it!!"

"Jason, baby. I have NO idea what is going on."

"The Watchtower!"

"Yeah. No. Be more specific, dear"

Jason covered his face with his hands. "Ugh!! Please! I'm dyin' here!"

Bruce carefully rose up from his seat, placing his hands in his son's shoulders and turning him around to make him sit instead. "Ok... Ok. Use keywords. I will do my best from there"

Jason uncovered his face and looked up at him. "I hate ya"

The words had no bite, but still something burned inside. He tried to smile it off. "And I love you. Now, explain."

Jason's face turned slightly red, and he looked down, mumbling something pretty close to 'love ya too', before ducking down. "Watchtower. After meetin'. You. Dick... Hug."

Oh.

Oh.

He chuckled despite himself. Jason looked up, gaping, offended. "Dad!" That made him stop laughing. Bruce smiled, delighted.

"Sorry, baby. Sorry." He caressed his son's cheek. Kneeling down to his eye level "Why did that bother you, though?"

Jason was practically pouting. And Bruce had to use all his strength to stop himself from lifting him up and sitting him on his lap. But if his son realized it, he would probably go back to the shielded young man. So Bruce just smiled, enjoying the weird instance.

"It doesn't BOTHER me. It just... If I show up there. You even gonna do that? For me?

Bruce blinked. "Do what? Hug you?" Jason nodded "I would never force you to -"

"But if I asked for it?"

"Yes. Why wouldn't I?"

"Well. 'Cause I'm... It's me, ain't it?"

"Oh, Jaylad" His son was now back at biting his own lip. Just like he did as a child whenever he felt unsure, uncomfortable, ashamed. And Bruce felt conflicted. He had tried so hard to take the habit out of the boy, but on the other side... Jason hadn't been openly vulnerable in so fucking long... "Ok, let's do this" He rose up, Jason's eyes following his movement. Then he opened his hands, palms looking forward, at the side of his hips. Arms straightened. Almost in a goalkeeper position. "If you do this" Jason scoffed. "No matter how subtle, I will know. And I will come to hug you" His son stood up, tilting his head and mimicked the stance - probably testing it, but Bruce didn't care. He took two big strides and hugged his boy.

Jason stilled before melting as he laughed. "Yer' such a sap" before returning the hug.

It wasn't so long after that, that an emergency had needed even for Red Hood to show up on deck.

Bruce would laugh at the memory of everyone's mouth at the floor when, during the debrief, Batman crossed the room to drag the young man in a tight hug.

Well, everyone but Red Robin and Nightwing, who looked incredibly offended. With the youngest one complaining about secret codes and favorite children.

Bruce turned from Wally's presentation to the figure standing at his side.

"...Robin?"

Everyone got quiet

"Don't you dare ..." Came a voice. Bruce narrowed his eyes, searching where his son had spoken from. The ceili-?

"I've been made aware of your current predisposition to give public displays of affection. Mostly in the forms of hugs"

"MosTLy iN The FOrMs Of HuGS" Tim mocked as he climbed down the vents "Oh, get over yourself"

Damian didn't even acknowledge his presence.

"Ok, what the fuck-?"

"Don't listen to the demon brat, da~d!"

"Ok, WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"Is Red Robin seriously throwing a tantrum?"

"Are you surprised, he's the one who started the whole hugging-"

The gossip quieted once the BatGlare™ fell upon his coworkers.

Batman cleared his throat "Red, don't make fun of Robin. It's perfectly normal for him to want what you and your siblings have bee-"

"UGH! I blame Nightwing and his stupid jealousy!!" Red Robin climbed Batman's shoulders, returning to the vents. Probably to keep sulking out of view. Bruce sighed. Grown man. His son is a grown man...

"Father?"

"Yes, sorry, Robin. A hug?"

Damian nodded, a faint red tinting his cheeks. Bruce smiled, kneeling down and opening his arms.

Damian threw himself, inhaling deeply and closing his eyes.

Someone behind them cooed.

Someone over their heads kicked a wall.

"Sorry I'm la-!". Nightwing stood frozen with a smile as he entered the room. "Whaaaaaaa-" His voice thinned.

Damian untangled himself, nodding a thanks to Bruce, before marching away, circling Dick without directing a word to him.

"THAT'S YOUR FAULT DICK!"

Dick looked up "Whaaaaaaaaat?"

Bruce sighed deeply before turning back to Wally, who had stood with his pointer towards the screen and his mouth half open during the whole exchange.

"Sorry, Flash. Please keep going." He said, sitting back down

But they all forgot about the rest. The new recruits. The ones who aren't truly close either to them or their dad.

Those poor heroes that didn't know shit. That never saw the interactions among the vigilantes and their mentor, so they could never made the calculations to link them and the collection of orphans under Bruce Wayne's wing.

Imagine THEIR reactions. The scary, terrifying, stoic and competent Batman... Just getting dragged around by this group of people.

Imagine a young hero, furious after Batman just roasted his ass in front of everyone.

Who does he think he is? He's just an old man in armor, ordering real heroes like himself around.

He feels a clasp on his shoulder, and turns around to face Nightwing's brilliant smile. "Don't take it to heart. Batman is harsh with words, but he's just trying to guide you"

He bites his lip, shrugging away the hand "he could be nicer about it..." He mumbles, looking away.

He hears a sigh and the hand is patting his back.

"That, he could. He really doesn't know how to treat people"

At that, the young hero sees an opening. He turns around again, letting all his frustrations run away. "RIGHT?!" He doesn't see the way Nightwing's smile strains "Who does he even think he is? That old ass?"

"Oh?"

"Just because he's a founder, he thinks he has the right to order us around?!" Nightwing's hand is no longer on his back. "He should be retired by now! What is he even doing trying to compete with real heroes?!"

The automatic door at his back opens, and he turns around to watch Flash enter the room with a smile. "There you are, Win-! Oh. Oh shit." Barry lowers his hand, putting it over his mouth, biting his gloved nails. "Damn. Just- don't kill him! Okay?! And I didn't see anything!!" He yells before vanishing back to the door.

"What was-?" The young hero turns back, and freezes at the appearance of Nightwing in front of him. He had heard about how terrifying he could be when mad, but this is his first time experiencing the glare. "Wha- what? Wha-" He takes a step back as Nightwing takes one to the front.

"I think" Nightwing tilts his head, and a shudder crosses the young hero "we should hit the training grounds." The toothy smile presented at him is predatorial, and there's nothing he wants more than to run away. "You know. One on one"

Shamefully, he trips over nothing, falling on his butt. He lifts a hand to cover his face with a cowardly shriek when Nightwing crouches in front of him.

"Afterwards" he continues. "We could all hang out, so you tell everybody what you think my dad should do about his hero career" He smiles, raising up. He looks down at the man on the floor. "See you in ten" he turns around, taking something out of his pocket and placing it inside his ear.

Get off the floor and put on your fursuit, billionaire boy

If prev was to take you out for any drink and any snack what would it be

for me it’s gotta be brown sugar boba and tunnocks teacakes

I would like to go for a mokaccino and a croissant. My usual...

I'm basic asf i would want a lemonade or an icea tea and some waffles

Tags

im still questioning what I am but I'd love love LOVE hot chocolate and shawarma, it's on my bucket list to try it lol

I love hot chocolate as well but i love trying mystry milkshakes and ice creams and blueberry cheesecake

I think there is no limit to how many people you can tag soo ,,..

@ultraviolettefan

@batbloat

@bruce-wayne-enjoyer

@brucietales

@capricious-bastard13

@occasionalauthoring

@gotham-blight

I'll take anything that isn't chocolate or coffee ^^ I'm more of a tea kind of gal? But I also wouldn't mind biscoff frappes iykwm 🥰 I'm craving spicy noodles rn so maybe that for food? Fuhhhh spicy ramen would be SO good rn 😩

Vicky Vale wrote entire articles about the Wayne's promiscuity, and more than a few saw it more as the resentment of an ex than the serious work of a journalist.

If Bruce had sued everyone who'd slandered him over the years, he'd become the world's first trillionaire.

Because it's not just journalists or Gotham's elite: everyone he knows has commented on his sex life or insulted him for it.

And that was fine, really. It hurt when his kids joked about it, when they ended up calling him a man-whore or making other slurs about his sex life when their arguments got out of hand.

He didn't say anything. He'd learned years ago that it wouldn't help. The jokes continues.

At first, Tim saw nothing wrong with joking like the others about how Bruce was a man whore, or that he'd slept with everyone at least once, and that he was easy.

They were just jokes, right? But then he got together with Kon shortly after her relationship with Bernard ended, and the journalists started grilling him, denigrating him, questioning his seriousness, wondering how long it would take him to tire of his new toy before moving on to another, and that, after all, he was still his father's son.

And the others were certainly not supportive, teasing him mercilessly, crossing every boundary because that's what they'd gotten used to, and even if Tim fought back, they wouldn't stop, because Tim was the one who couldn't take a joke.

Bruce intervenes: Bruce sued the newspapers that denigrated Tim, it's Bruce who defended Tim's public image, and it's he who has always defended Tim from others, too.

A grace no one has ever granted Bruce.

When things finally calm down and things get back to normal, Tim can't even look Bruce in the eye.

For a few weeks, he was going crazy during this shitstorm, hating everyone, and his sanity was suffering.

What does it mean that Bruce had been dealing with all this for years? What does it mean he doesn't hate everyone for how he was treated? How could he still want to defend Tim after years of insults?

Bruce shouldn't have done anything.

He should have let Tim deal with this alone, without any support, because it would only have been fair.

When he mentions this to Kon, his boyfriend looks at him strangely.

Kon: Honey, it makes sense that Bruce would help you. He's your father, right?

Tim: No, it doesn't make sense. You weren't there, you don't know what I called him, all the times I shamed him when one of his relationships ended, or... how I insulted him for things I had no right to talk about... why didn't he just ignore it?

Kon: Tim... how could he ignore it? He loves you.

Tim: But I don't deserve this, don't you understand?! We've all put him through hell, always judging him, as if we were better... it's not fair that he helped me and I've never done anything for him.

In short, just Tim who doesn't know how to deal with the knowledge that Bruce loves him more than he deserves, and doesn't know how to live with this new awareness, especially after years spent sabotaging any remotely healthy relationship with his father.

The title is bait for my freaky Superman propaganda.

With Clark being the freak in the relationship it only makes sense he has a couple of thoughts on the usage of Kryptonite in the bed room and all of them involve a small piece on Bruce.

Did I also mentioned this might be sub top leaning. Just a little. Most bedroom acts involve Clark seeing something, realizing it wouldn’t work and then remembering his boyfriend, husband or whatever not only has enough Kryptonite access to fill a large vault but also something that can actually cut and shape it without breaking it. So, imagine Bruce’s face everytime he comes to him to shy’ll explain this fun thing they could do in the bedroom.

“But that won’t work on you.”

“Not if it’s made out of…Kryptonite.?”

He always just makes the thing for them to use but he’s always a little surprised. He loves doing these things for Clark though and he wouldn’t stop unless Clark came to him and told him to stop.

It’s very sweet even if you think about it because more times than none maybe a ring with this tiny piece of Kryptonite in it while going at it feels a little scary if you didn’t know that Clark was the one suggesting and whimpering over it like a dog. Just about 99% of the time Bruce is going to say YES.

Bonus points if both Metropolis and Gotham reports now do actively begin to gossip with each other because:

“How does some boyscout reporter tame Brucie Wayne??”

“The Bat and Superman are starting to do alottt of calling on each other huh?”

Edit: The attention grabber title also may or may not just be a really funny way to say to say that it is exactly what he’s asking for in this ambiguous scenario lol

Edit 2: Clark is very sweet and shy about it at the end of the day even if he’s basically saying “I need you to put a little Kryptonite in a collar and make me wear it while you ride me.”

And children. Lots, and lots of children. Bruce seems to have taken on the mission of ensuring that while Clark won't have him, he certainly won't be alone.

But after their youngest is born, Alfred puts together a picture book of the first Bruce-with-baby pictures with each child and he notices something... odd. Bruce at forty looks the same as Bruce at thirty. In each, he's tired and smiling, but while Alfred can see the changes on his own face in that window of time, Bruce, if anything, looks a little better in the more recent photo.

And come to think of it, he doesn't even have any grays, and Alfred distinctly remembers buying him hair dye for the first time somewhere around thirty-seven... Hell, there are scars Alfred remembers stitching that just aren't there anymore.

Ahhh, I don't know if it's more fun for Bruce to get the book from Alfred and put it together for himself and gently explain his suspicions to Clark, or if he's caught in an explosion or something in space and left floating in the vacuum, and Clark is sure he's just going to go collect Bruce's body, but when he gets there, Bruce is just... unconscious? Hanging in a sunbeam, surrounded by debris, still strapped into his seat, metal shredded all around him, while he looks perfect--

And then Clark has to figure out how to explain? I don't know, you can probably think of something even better <3 (Please take your time with this, or just ignore it if you're not feeling an ask like this one atm <3333 )

@batshipinsane 44!

Clark flies into the hangar in a daze. Achingly slow, he cannot bear the idea of jostling his love, even now, he touches down on his tiptoes, sinking millimetre by millimetre until his feet lay flat.

Alarms blare through the room, lights flashing red, as the hangar door begins to descend. Usually it's a quick affair. Usually they haven't just lost half of their systems to an attack on the Watchtower. Usually Clark isn't flying out into the debris, searching for his mate's body—

The door shudders into place, the red lights fade back to flickering florescents, and Arthur tears the damaged door out of it's frame to let everyone else pour in. They'd been watching through the glass, he'd seen their silhouettes beyond the soot blacking out the bay window.

They crowd around him, but not pressing close, not daring to disturb the peaceful way Bruce rests against his chest, still, unmoving.

He should've known what was happening. He'd noticed things, things that didn't make sense, but nothing could have prepared him for this, for having to go out and collect Bruce's body, thrown out in force of the explosion that took out half of the Watchtower.

His mate, gone from him in a single moment.

What could armour do against a bomb set off two feet from him?

The rest of the team staggering to intact units, sealing off the compromised areas, while Clark hung in place, staring at the black shape floating in the distance. Ignoring the screams, the shouts, the cries of pain all around him, feeling his alpha howl internally as they flew after that floating mass, knowing they were on a trip oit to collect their mate's body.

To bring him home on final time.

"Kal."

His eyes leap to Diana, startled. She doesn't smile, mouth parted in almost fear, hands hovering in the air over Bruce's chest. Blood coats the side of her face, pouring from a cut on her temple, and she favours one side, a hand over the shattered portion of her armour. But the injuries don't compare to the pain in her eyes as they return to Bruce's prone form.

Clark feels a sob wrenched from his throat as he looks down at the body in his arms.

"He's alive."

He falls to his knees, bowing over Bruce, listening to that blessed heartbeat.

"He's alive."

His heart beats as strongly as ever, stronger, and Clark realises that all the peculiarities he'd noticed can be explained. By the horde of pups surely waiting for them when he returns to the cave, ready for action and probably only still on Earth because the teleporters suffered damage in the explosion.

Can probably be explained by the second, fluttering heartbeat he can hear.

The panicked, confused calls from his coworkers fade away when he tunes into that sound, and he clutches his mate closer, nuzzling into his black hair, the greys that used to populate it a distant memory.

"My mate," he whispers, into those perfect waves. "My beautiful, strong mate."

He strokes his thumb over Bruce's cheek, over where crows feet used to make his handsome smirk that much more suave, and Clark isn't sure when they disappeared, when his knees went back to being weak for his youthful, charming grins instead.

His long lashes flutter over full cheeks, and Clark might stop breathing.

"Bruce?"

His mate doesn't speak, but one hand comes up, cupping Clark's cheek in return, his glacier-blue eyes wet with relief, and he does his best to maintain that eye contact as he lowers his forehead to rest against the omega's.