Bondie the Blondie

You are an unreliable narrator because your coping mechanisms for your deep-seated trauma forbid you from acknowledging the reality of the situation. I am an unreliable narrator because I sincerely have no idea what the fuck is going on.

forever thinking of catra from the 2018 she-ra series. what if you were deeply in love with your best friend. what if you chose long ago to abandon your morals to stay by her side. what if, at the very first chance, she was faced with the same decision and chose her morals over you. what if your grief over that choice was so immense that it fueled five seasons of television and almost ended the world. what if, at the end of it all, the end of the very world she fought so hard to save, you asked her to stay and she finally, finally did

imagine dealing w an international crisis involving precious artifacts and someone is like ‘don’t worry I know a guy’ and it’s a dorky connecticut college professor named henry who slips into his slutsona and suddenly he’s capable of saving the world w the power of his whip & fedora

you don’t know where the guy is. you don’t know where the guy is going. but you do know he’s on the case w a 98% success rate and his tits are out

#this man gets uncomfortable and overwhelmed when 20 y/o college girls hit on him #but take off his glasses #put on his fedora #and this man is ready to find Atlantis in three to eight business days (via @sansakenobi​)

It’s impossible to argue with anything above.

previous tags are on point: #hat ON archeology APPLIED tits OUT

people will really come into kink spaces and say you can't forcefem women like there wasn't a feature length movie about an elderly gay man forcefemming a woman as part of scheme to thwart an elaborate assassination attempt before the killer even determined their target

What... What movie is this.

i was trying so hard to remember the nonexistent assassination subplot in My Fair Lady

so embarrassing to watch yourself become obsessed with a character that feels tailor made for you specifically to become obsessed with. feels like i fell into a trap made just for me. like damn they got me. those are all the things i like and go crazy for

what do you mean my disability disables my abilities? what the fuck

yeah sorry, they're greyed out now. sometimes you can temporarily enable them if you perform a secret spell that exhausts you for 12d10 hours and greys out some of your other abilities though. good luck.

anything u think about YOUR life after 10pm is bs to be ignored. anything u think about a character’s life after 10pm should be posted about online and expanded on for paragraphs. :)

tinder link in bio.

*tapes scissors to my dick* why won’t anyone fuck me, edward scissordick?

I love going trough the notes every time bc there’s always someone in the notes insisting we’re all mean and that you can just wear thick dish gloves over your fake nails as if I wouldn’t assume you’re going to Patrick Bateman my ass if you walked into the bedroom with claws and yellow rubber gloves

her pussy

OUTTA MY WAY IM BOUT TO GE- ouchie. Ouch. Ouchie.