no please, I can change! I've been living in Seattle for the last 16 years!
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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

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@blueravenarts
no please, I can change! I've been living in Seattle for the last 16 years!

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my roommates car is named barff. it was originally bought from a dealership called garff, but then she tinkered with the g on the license plate thing so it looks like a b and now the car is just called barff.
my wife once asked our roomate where she was parked in a group chat. but she messed up the word "parked" and instead spelled it as "garked". and then me and my roommate just started referring to parking as garking because its just really fun to give my wife shit. its just part of the professional little brother playbook.
but also, at some point it stopped being ironic and we just started calling parking garking.
then today me and my wife were looking out the window and we saw our roommate struggling to do a three point turn into a parking space. and as fun as it is to give my wife shit its also really fun to give our roommate shit. so we ran outside and we ran around her car while chanting GARK THE BARFF. GARK THE BARFF. GARK THE BARFF. and then she did, eventually, gark the barff. theres no moral to this its just a surreal part of my life that i really enjoy. maybe tease people more? find your barff and gark it and never ever stop?
@bashircore downloading "getting spoofy on the bloot" to my vernacular.
one time i was making potato soup and i needed broth for it but i was out of broth. but in my dog food cabinet there was a carton of chicken broth that i had bought for my dog. now the box did say HUMAN GRADE and the ingredients were just bog standard chicken broth. it did say something about joint health for dogs on there. but the ingredients were normal. i even compared the ingredients list to some normal person broth and they were the same. so i did put dog broth in that soup and it did taste completely normal. but i did use the dog broth.

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its funny to me how warmups for instruments generally sound nice and pretty. like just basic scales or chords. the exercises i do on my guitar could be mistaken for actual music at times.
and then vocal warmups are shit like. bark like a seal. grunt like a thwomp from mario 64. now sing the melody but instead of the lyrics youre saying 'moo moo mee mee mah mah' even the scales you gotta moo mee mah through that shit and its just so goofy every time. and this is why im not a singer
see this is exactly what i mean. i thought someone was having a mental break of some kind in my notes until i remembered what i had posted last night
adding songs from musicals to character playlists is so stupid like yeah this works just ignore some of that really specific stuff
every post on iwaspoisoned.com starts with a guy being like yeah this smelled really bad and tasted really bad and looked wrong and i became violently ill after consuming it and you look at the attached photo and its a big jug with three X's and a skull on it
this is crazy i made this exact joke in a personal discord chat the other day. but this was posted 5 hours ago. what gives
do you want custody of the post
I just wanna hang out

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oh no they’re going to start calling democrats the same thing they’ve been calling democrats for 20 years now
"Here’s a trick I learned during the Obama presidency for handling certain types of political labels. Take, as an example, the Tea Party claim that Obama is a Communist. Don’t take the word of the person making the claim (Tea Partiers). Don’t rely on the rebuttal of the target (Obama), because that will just be dismissed. Go to the group itself (Communists) and ask them. Ask an actual Communist if Obama is a comrade and see how they answer. Watch as they laugh at you, then explain in great detail how they wish there was a Communist in the White House, but here’s a long and exhaustive list of why that just isn’t so. Now apply this logic to the claim that Hillary is pretty much the same as a Republican. Ask an actual Republican if they think Hillary Clinton is one of them. Watch them laugh, and then explain in the same exhausting detail why that just isn’t so. Some of them might concede that she’s better than Trump, but that’s not the same thing. Finally, go ask a White Supremacist if Trump is one of them. As they excitedly explain how Trump is the guy they’ve been waiting for all these years, and how he’s really empowered their movement, use this to guide how you will be voting in November."
Source: a 2016 facebook posts by Craig Enan, since then deleted (OG link here)
mom called me a fag yesterday by accident
she was going to call me a bitch (playful) and i saw her gears turning like no but he's trans i need to call him the male equivalent. and then say fag and look so so surprised at the word that came out of her own mouth. it was like watching someone fail a disco elysium skill check irl
AUTHORITY - One of your sons is being annoying to the other. Make it clear that you think this is unfair.
YOU - "Stop being a b--"
REACTION SPEED [Challenging: Success] - Wait a minute.
DRAMA - Sire, the word you're about to use is historically feminine! Applying it to your transgender child is tantamount to misgendering him.
1. [Suggestion - Legendary 14] Think of a masculine equivalent to "bitch."
Here's the link to help out.
Hi I'm Chantal. I'm an artist from NYC and for the past 12 years I have been in a … Chantal Imerti needs your support for Help Chantal Esc
recurring dead wife flashback where it becomes increasingly apparent that the person remembering her has dishonestly claimed a romantic dynamic to their relationship that never actually existed and erased any conflict that ever existed between them now that she's no longer able to say no to them
dead wife flashback where each time we see her she looks more confused and upset by how she's remembered, then desperate and furious, until she's hammering on the glass screaming to be let out
this isn't how it happened. you know this isn't how it happened. but you still keep coming back, keep disturbing my grave so you can play out your fantasies. voyeurs crowding around my autopsy, straining for the best view; pawing through my entrails like grubby butchers trying to find some golden meaning in blood and shit because you can't bear to face the cold light of truth. you just can't bear the thought of never having really known me at all.
Did they task the vampires with hanging up the flags 😭

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jebać tczew
waiting to hear back.