It’s Upside Down, Isn’t It?

I’m a lover by nature except for when I’m a wretched hater cunt bitch which I also am by nature

I was telling the guy I'm banging about how (in my teenage years) a friend of mine had shown up to a hang out session with bunny ears on, and how I'd been so embarrassed walking around with them, and he stopped me and reminded me that on one of our first dates I'd worn a neon green tie dye shirt that read I Got My Dick Ripped Off At Señor Frog's/ They Nailed It To A Board And Hung It Next To A Big Mouth Bass

some sort of worm or possibly a fish?

Making actual physical models for your art is still a great method. Just, mind the hazards.

i’ve invented a new microwave its called microwave 2. it randomly makes your food colder 9% of the time. don’t worry i’ve already entered your home and replaced your old microwave with it. im very good at technology

this is about google’s ai overview

the ad copy says it can be used on camels. imagine someone with a camel who is struggling with camel behavior problems seeing this and thinking "hot damn, the solution to my camel misbehavior problems is CERTAINLY this dog exorcism potion"

big fan of the four-year-old on this flight who yelled "THEY ARE BRINGING COMPLEMENTARY BEVERAGES" when the flight attendants came down with the drinks cart

Still not what I want

i step out onto stage clad in full corpse paint and death metal regalia and start playing the most middle-of-the-road soft rock you've heard since 1974

it would suck being a new immortal. like it’d be 2109 and people would go, “what was it like seeing ancient civilizations rise and fall like that? seeing the pyramids being built? watching the expansion and growth of the new world?” and i’d just be like, “no…no i was born in 1991. so like, wow i’m gonna see some cool stuff, but, i mean i’m not that much older than just a really, really old person, you know? phones were big back then. so big. but only for like ten years, then they got like, as good as they are now. uh. rhinos existed. don’t think i ever saw one in person. cool, good talk.”

even worse, imagine being an immortal who keeps missing stuff. “What was it like seeing the pyramids being built?” “Fuck if I know, I was in Madagascar.” “Oh, okay. Well, how was the Renaissance?” “I fell down a hole in Scotland and people thought I was an enchanted well for four hundred years, it was over by the time I convinced someone to get me out.”

It’s been a decade since we left that comment and you have the best reply anyone’s left to it.

whoever wrote this paper has the funniest phrasing possible

happy turtle bit off a cop’s toe in the hudson river day for those who celebrate

A CENTURY AGO