the bachelorette but starring shen yuan (aka the shizlorette)
shen yuan is an infamous member of bachelor nation, the most well known hater of the show. he becomes the bachelorette because his social media criticisms of the show's concept and casts catch the producer's attention, and they want to do a season themed around "proving" the show works by making its biggest critic fall in love
the host (and lead producer) is shang qinghua, who originated the entire idea and has gone viral for his responses to shen yuan multiple times
luo binghe (mei): famous chef with a tragic backstory about being abandoned then orphaned then sent to something traumatizing like a wilderness therapy camp. in his free time he runs a nonprofit to support "troubled" children. in a surprise reveal we learn he came on the show because shen yuan helped take down the horrible camp by posting an expose about the industry, and then happened to be one of the first critics to write a good review of his restaurant, leading to his extraordinary success in the industry. gets the winner edit
luo bingge: lowkey evil twin to luo binghe despite no actual relation. former bachelor lead who's season was canceled midway through because he tried to propose to all the contestants and he was getting canceled online for misogyny or something. says he's back as a contestant because he wants to prove he's changed for the better. gets the early-season villain edit and goes home relatively quickly because he barges in on a one-on-one date as if he deserves the time and it pisses shen yuan off
liu qingge: on the show because a friend (*cough* liu mingyan *cough*) applied for him and the producers wanted him for eye candy. somehow becomes the fan favorite, but is always losing out to luo binghe just slightly (comes second in physical challenges, is unable to interrupt luo binghe and shen yuan's chats during cocktail parties bc he's embarrassed, "isn't open enough about his feelings" while luo binghe cries at any slight frown from shen yuan, etc etc). gets the "should have won" edit. most viral moment is a big blowout fight with shen qingqiu at the tell all when images leak of shen qingqiu at a strip club or something right before the show started filming. says in interviews that he just wants shen yuan to be happy (but says so with gritted teeth while glaring at luo binghe)
shen qingqiu/jiu: renowned musician who says he wanted to come on the show because he thinks shen yuan's prose (his hate rants) are beautifully done and he wants to get to know him better. does not befriend ANY of the other contestants. shen yuan keeps him around because he enjoys their chats where they just hate on and gossip about people. gets the late season villain edit when it's revealed he played a role in luo binghe's tragic backstory on a two-on-one date (the other contestant being luo binghe of course). shen yuan finds out and dramatically sends him home with a speech that contains more censorship beeps than words
yue qingyuan: probably the president of a university of something. claims he applied to be on the show because he just thought shen yuan was beautiful and wanted to get to know him better. it's revealed that he had a previous situationship with shen qingqiu (a music professor at his university) that ended poorly, and fans speculate he only went on the show to reconcile. reactions are split between those who think it's sweet, those who think it's creepy, and those who are just mad the whole drama was a distraction from shen yuan's experience (shen yuan did not care) (matter of fact, shen qingqiu didn't care either and ignored yue qingyuan the entire season). fan sleuths eventually reveal the whole sordid tale and learn that the situationship ended because of a miscommunication (qijiu then show up to the tell all engaged with matching rings and shen qingqiu is practically sitting on yue qingyuan's lap the whole time)
gongyi xiao: has a generic office job that he hates. becomes an early frontrunner among fans when the cast photos are first revealed. says he applied for the show because he appreciated shen yuan's kindness (everyone else is confused by this statement bc shen yuan is an infamous hater). him and luo binghe have a mini rivalry over being the only contestants younger than shen yuan, but luo binghe severely outfreaks gongyi xiao so gongyi xiao sort of gives up, and he eventually leaves during a teary-eyed rose ceremony pre-hometowns, but it seems clear that both him and shen yuan knew they weren't a match. fans rally for him to be the next bachelor
zhuzhi-lang: executive assistant for CEO of (insert generic company that is a rival to the one gongyi xiao works at) tianlang-jun. tianlang-jun pulled some strings to get his nephew on the show. is quiet and shy throughout the season, which becomes his downfall as shen yuan sort of forgets about him. somehow he makes it to hometowns, and his visit is made really weird because his uncle asks questions that are WAY too invasive and embarrasses him in front of shen yuan. shen yuan basically friend-zones him and viewers do a frame-by-frame analysis that shows zhuzhi-lang's heart breaking and confidence collapsing in real time as he gets sent home, which shocks everyone because he never seemed that into shen yuan outwardly
other miscellaneous cast members that go home somewhat early:
ming fan: sent home night one (shen yuan lowkey calls him ugly in a confessional)
mobei-jun: thought shang qinghua was the season lead. was very disappointed that this was not the case. runs off with shang qinghua halfway through the season
mu qingfang: did a cute heart rate monitoring doctor bit when he arrived at the house. gets a few dates but he and shen yuan agree they work better as friends (mu qingfang is internally devastated about this)
wei qingwei: sent home because he seems more interested in playing in the pool than talking to shen yuan during a group date
results: luo binghe wins obviously. he backstabs and gossips and cries and manipulates his way right into shen yuan's heart. fans and the other contestants are SO confused about how shen yuan just completely doesn't notice the red flags (he does notice, he just dgaf). goes down as one of the most insane seasons in bachelor/bachelorette history, and sparks a shit ton of controversy before, during, and after the show. shen yuan continues hating on the show afterwards, but it doesn't work as well when every other post is him and his husband (they got married approximately two days after filming ended) being lovey dovey on the tl