this trend of shitting on peer-reviewed academic studies in favor of tweeting “we already knew this was happening” is so soul-crushing. not to be an elitist cunt, but we have got to open the schools again. people genuinely seem to have forgotten that their personal lived experience isn’t indicative of the larger population, AND IF IT IS…… then you need researchers to support these assertions from a relevant data pool instead of a blog post from 2013 💀

there are four human activities and they are crafting, stories, math, and fucking around. whatever you're doing is at least one of those four.

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

and yet they keep making movies with the hopes that one day humanity will discover a way to watch them. it's so inspiring

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

"visual learner" this "auditory learner" that well I'm an oral learner. put it in my mouth

I don't have sensory issues I just like to wear sunglasses and headphones everywhere all the time and if someone is talking too loud beside me in public I just start attacking them and hurting them and I can't stop. I can't stop

lets out one truly pitiful little whimper & then goes back to doing fucking whatever

Maybe I can convince y'all to act right by framing things in terms of social engineering. People will be a whole lot more likely to do whatever shit you're trying to hector them into doing if you're not constantly being a dick the whole time. Being niceys is a powerful social engineering tool such as all of the times I have maliciously manipulated people into fulfilling my whims using an evil sociopathic manipulation technique i like to call "asking nice and then saying thanks after"

Is that a miette?

Pride for you!  Pride for a thousand years!!

you COME OUT to miette? you come out to her as queer? oh! oh! pride for mother! pride for mother for One Thousand Years!!!!

they should invent a high ponytail that doesn’t give me a headache and they should invent a low ponytail that doesn’t make me look like a miller’s apprentice going off to enlist in the continental army

It's Tumpet Tuesday. Bwaaa.