This Is Spinal Thirst

my great-grandfather had to leave italy in the 20′s because he hit a fascist with a tuba, so if you think I am going to take this sitting down you are going to have to catch these hands and also this tuba

Fun story my Great Great Grandma left Germany in the 1920s because she had family in the US and could get citizenship pretty easily and once she was over in the US she then smuggled over 15 jewish families out by forging family documents so now my aunts are currently in the process of trying to tell the real ones from the fake ones because my great gran just died and there are legally over 100 surviving descendants but we know that math is a lil screwy.

Sometimes a family is you, your kids, your grandkids, your great grandkids, and the 15 Jewish families you helped smuggle out of Nazi Germany.

And your tuba

*G*

and the winner of superwholock is officially??? no one. we all lost. congrats team

PUU WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT CAT COMING FOR MY IMMORTAL SOUL OR WHAT

this is an exceptionally powerful pair of creatures

dropped a single pack of instant noodles while riding the train some time ago. not that much of a problem traditionally, run the simulations if you like, but this was one of those udon kits with the somewhat wet noodles so the sound was completely unreasonable in the otherwise dead silence

imagine a large, dry-skinned and entirely brick-flat frog falling with some force onto the tacky little walkway you find in those places. not great is it

now imagine a great expanse of ironsand dunes, pearlescent against the moonlight

There’s someone who has their iPhone named “hot single horses in your area” and they airdrop people pictures of horses randomly. Nobody knows who it is. Once, during an assembly, the laptop that the projector was from had airdrop turned on, and in the middle of a presentation about bullying, it popped up in front of the entire school. HOT SINGLE HORSES IN YOUR AREA WANTS TO SHARE AN IMAGE. A picture of a horse, with text in bubble letters over it saying “available”

whoever they are they’re my hero

*sigh* fine, fine, i'll be the new doctor who showrunner. bring me two twinks, britain's tallest woman, and 1000 pounds worth of alumininamian foil

Watch out! The twistyman lives in the drill and he eats hands