This Is Spinal Thirst

PUU WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT CAT COMING FOR MY IMMORTAL SOUL OR WHAT

this is an exceptionally powerful pair of creatures

dropped a single pack of instant noodles while riding the train some time ago. not that much of a problem traditionally, run the simulations if you like, but this was one of those udon kits with the somewhat wet noodles so the sound was completely unreasonable in the otherwise dead silence

imagine a large, dry-skinned and entirely brick-flat frog falling with some force onto the tacky little walkway you find in those places. not great is it

now imagine a great expanse of ironsand dunes, pearlescent against the moonlight

There’s someone who has their iPhone named “hot single horses in your area” and they airdrop people pictures of horses randomly. Nobody knows who it is. Once, during an assembly, the laptop that the projector was from had airdrop turned on, and in the middle of a presentation about bullying, it popped up in front of the entire school. HOT SINGLE HORSES IN YOUR AREA WANTS TO SHARE AN IMAGE. A picture of a horse, with text in bubble letters over it saying “available”

whoever they are they’re my hero

*sigh* fine, fine, i'll be the new doctor who showrunner. bring me two twinks, britain's tallest woman, and 1000 pounds worth of alumininamian foil

Watch out! The twistyman lives in the drill and he eats hands

@wheezecheese

This has gone beyond "I cannot explain this to my spouse" and is firmly in "Archaeologists of the future will decide this is the point at which a group of people diverged from mainstream humanity and developed a new, indecipherable form of communication."

following people who are into wrestling is just like "holy shit johnny appleseed just hit burner hurtzog (evil artfilm director-themed wrestler) with the Prostate Puncher 5000! can't fucking stand that guy!" like all day long

“…use things to have good days.”

the loading screen trying to convince me to use even one of my 3000 consumables

the "came back wrong" trope except like... they didnt. like this mad scientists wife died, and so he studied necromancy, brought her back, and she came back and it all worked. like she came back exactly the same as she was before with literally no difference. but the scientist guy is like "oh no... what have i done.... shes Different now!!!! she came back Wrong!!!!" and shes just like. chilling. reading a book. cooking dinner. shes just so so normal but in the guys mind hes like "oh shes soooo weird" but shes just normal

NO its a JOKE and YOU DONT GET IT. ITS NOT THAT DEEP

While she was dead he put his memory of her on such a high pedestal that she could never live up to it alive

alternatively‚ she came back perfectly fine but he thinks she came back wrong‚ because the tragic reality is that he never actually knew his wife

im going INSANE thats MY POST.

It's your post but the journey to posting it changed it to such a degree that even its closest intimacies are now foreign to you. Sorry dude.