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Transmasc erasure is the reason I wasn’t able to transition earlier.
I got on T at 20 years old. This is not the first time I tried to transition. When I was 13, I went to a highly respected institution for transgender youth to get on puberty blockers and hormones. My two providers did not know what a trans man was. They offered me a side-clasp binder off amazon in the wrong size that fucked up my ribs because they gave me incorrect guidelines on how to wear it. They refused to put me on any medication until I could prove to them that I wasn’t just confused. They never put me on any medication and always told me that being a girl is hard and I couldn’t just run away.
These things have real consequences for real vulnerable people.
The argument of "trans men have privilege when they pass" is also so asinine because privilege isn't just "other men treating you nicer" it's getting unbiased and unrestricted medical attention, it's lower or no statistics of corrective sexual assault or impregnation, it's not having actual laws passed against your existence, it's not having to worry about passing in the first place, it's having historical figures retain their identity and not erased in some girl power misgendering bs, it's having your identity celebrated instead of treated like a loss of something pure.
If you think male privilege is just being treated like "one of the guys" in day to day life, you need to relearn a lot of things about privilege before you try to have these conversations.
I think consuming too much gender war slop damages your perception of reality. I just saw someone posit that Project Hail Mary is a men's right think piece where Ryland Grace is sent into space because it's a "metaphor" for being rejected from society for insufficiently serving women. Completely ignoring the actual woman in the book that was sent into space and died.
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The idea of a popular teenage subculture where girl & boys pretty much all dress the same feels impossible now but for a while it was reality and it was beautiful.
During a high speed car chase pursuit, the FOX 11 Los Angeles helicopter had an unexpected moment when they spotted a rooster and a chicken casually walking down the sidewalk right in the middle of the pursuit.
prolly bc i had a bit of a breakthrough in therapy today but i feel like there is nothing more unstable than needing someone else to have been a monster for you to feel okay about what happened to you
Because even if god came down from on high with a perfect recollection of events exactly as they happened with the divine judgement of who was Abuser and who was Victim, what does that actually do? you just have you live your life knowing that the pain you went through only mattered so long as that person never changes. You can only be okay if someone you dont know anymore makes the choice every day to not be okay.
That's such an unstable place to live. That's how even seeing someone in passing, someone who isn't doing anything and doesn't think about you anymore, can feel like violence. its the kinda thing that makes you send someone a message at 11 o' clock at night, again, fucking up their peace when they have an early appointment in the morning. I'd think that blocking you basically everywhere and not responding to your last 'this is the last time ill contact you' message would be a hint, but whatever. its not important.
I, like many people, went through my life thinking 'forgiveness is the best closure' was just a band-aid for silencing victims. its only now, through the wisdom of having left one of the most straightforwardly abusive relationships in my life, do I understand it at last.
I don't need to have been a perfect victim for the things that happened to me to not be okay, but I also dont need that person to have been a perfect monster. I don't need them to have made every bad choice. I don't need the good times to have been a manipulation. I don't need the bad times to come from sheer malice.
They could have just been a small minded person in their own cycles of victimhood. They could have been reacting to how horrible it is to be chained to someone who was actively rotting. they could have been rotting themselves, and resented that I was too rotten to make it easy for them
I don't hope they're okay. I don't wish them well. I'm happiest when I don't think about them at all. But its possible for the things that were done to me to be unacceptable while the person that did those things was understandable.
And frankly, I don't care how they feel about it. what they tell themselves. I've forgiven them so that it wont hurt anymore. I don't think they should get to hurt me anymore.
idk i just dont like TERF or MRA bullshit. sometimes that means disagreeing with takes like 'certain people are born bad because of their genitals' and other times that means disagreeing with takes like 'victims of sexual assault should prioritize their rapist's reputation when discussing their abuse.'
I really dont give a shit what you call your ideology or what genders you're ascribing in those statements. I think those are always untrue statements.
idk man i just dont like it when 'its fucked up to believe the moon logic that a trans man's every action, including being a victim of sexual assault, is a psi-op to manipulate cis people into killing trans women' will be said in the same sentence of 'and those DISGUSTING KINKY TRANS WOMEN get away with EVERYTHING!!!!'
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genuinely irritated about the prevalence of brother-sister character designs where the brother has a huge nose and the sister has a tiny nose. 1) why are you a coward who hates the joy and beauty of women with big noses 2) have you looked at any real human siblings lately 3) why do you appear to think the nose is a secondary sex characteristic
wishing all women with big noses a beautiful day i hope you get everything you want forever and i'm sorry about the rank cowardice of general society you deserve better
Just make an original story and gooooooooooo. Carrie snaps after years of bullying, because as a kid she started preaching the gospel at the lunch room and they laughed at her. She was ALREADY a long standing target when the story opens. And also, her main bully was at home, but suddenly the iconically unhinged Mrs White is. Not abusive?
Carrie is, like, thee book about how we fail fat weird girls with abusive parents. Shaving all the edges off doesn't just make a worse story, it ignores the fundamentally ugly truth that we STILL FAIL girls who are too ugly or strange to be considered worthy of sympathy, leaving them to the whims of parents who may well hate them. I don't understand why Flanagan has become so pathologically incapable of letting horror stories just BE DARK, but it's really de-fanging a lot of stories for a lot of people! Hill House is not about the power of family it's about how lonely people will literally kill themselves to feel any sense of belonging, no matter how fleeting. Carrie is not about a mother and daughter doing their best, it's about the real and present hatred that ESPECIALLY ISOLATIONIST CHRISTIANS have for any young woman and especially young women who are fat, weird, and/especially or refuse to conform. Much like the society at large. I'm losing my mind
"Stop scrolling and please help me spread the word, because if I've landed on your page you're most likely either a black woman or someone who cares about black women and the simple phrase I'm about to share could help save a black woman's life.
Doctors are to black women what police officers are to black men. That may seem controversial but I believe it to be true and I speak from personal experience.
If you've seen this TikTok you know that a 2016 study showed that 50% of medical students and residents thought that black people couldn't feel pain the same as white people.
And we learned from this video that because of a 1999 study, to this day, there's a black correction factor for the creatinin levels in black people's kidneys, meaning we're less likely to recieve a kidney transplant if needed.
So if you go to a doctor, feel you aren't getting proper treatment or they refuse the treatment you've requested, say to them the following:
I will need you to document on record that you are refusing the treatment (or medicine) I've requested, and the reason you are doing so."
This works. I have used it in other situations. If medical staff have to document and take responsibility and be on the hook legally for doing shady shit they behave much differently.
If you weren’t already going to spread this advice because black women are at risk, then spread it because it’s applicable to everyone else as well, including you reading this.
But particularly women, and especially black women.
Okay so I made a list of 30 (well, 29 actually) prompts I am releasing into the wild. The point of this is that at least one of the participants are not having a good time.
It has 30 prompts for November but feel free to write and post whenever, but please add the tag #No one nuts November or #NoonenutsNovember wherever you post. You do not have to @ or credit this blog if you use any of these prompts.
(Text version under the cut)
1. Safeword
2. Sub/dom drop
3. Loosing intrest halfway through
4. Trying something that doesn't work
5. Medical emergency (bonus points: it happens during bondage)
6. Bad/failed orgasm
7. Should have safeworded
8. "Wait, it's not supposed to hurt?"
9. "Let's never try that again."
10. Sex so bad they break up after
11. Realistic shower sex
12. Incompatible kinks
13. Threw up on that thang
14. Can't get hard/wet/aroused
15. Says wrong persons name during sex
16: ugly crying/overwhelmed
17: "I remembered you being better at this"/"I'm not impressed."/"I've had better."/"You're not hung chill"
18: Allergic reaction/cut off circulation
19. Dirty talk/degradation gets too real
20. Ignored/missed a safeword
21. Random horny confession that kills the mood for the other person/people
22. "No really, that's not going to fit."
23. Fire alarm goes off/interrupted by a third party
24. Pushing themselves into sex they aren't ready for
25. Sex toy gets stuck
26. Only one person having fun/agreeing to boring sex
27. Couple brings in a bad 3rd
28. Sex in a bad location
29. Sex so bad it kills you/one of the participants dies
"well i like this post but i'm worried my followers might not" fuck your followers. The entire point of tumblr is to cause irreparable psychic damage to your followers. We are locked in mortal combat on the astral plane. You must win. You Must Win. You Must Destroy Them.
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