Meowdern Intersex Purrspectives

“there’s a restaurant two miles from my house called—” nope

“today I learned [celeb] went to my high school—” nope nope nope nope nope

these are all real posts I’ve seen on the internet that allowed me to identify a user’s hometown instantly. if it’s a small town, that’s doubly dangerous, because a bad actor could trace you just by a unique first name or selfie you once posted. in an age where doxxing and stalking are some of the worst I’ve ever seen it, you HAVE to think twice about what you’re posting online.

i once saw a 13-year old post an image they noted as being “a few miles from their house.” it had a theater in the shot with a unique enough name to be local. one google maps search, now everyone knew not only what city they lived in, but the possible neighborhoods in that radius too. and they had a HUGE following…who all knew this was a 13-year-old child.

so yeah. not to sound like a 90s internet safety PSA…but I’m gonna be that PSA for a minute.

if you’re posting an image, there is NO need to say that you live there. you could just be traveling. “saw this in Montana” is better than “saw this by my house!”

before you post about a venue, especially a restaurant or small store, check and see if it’s local—CRUCIALLY if it has only one or two locations. people might travel to arenas or convention centers, but they’re far less likely to be traveling to Bartleby’s Fish and Chips. if it’s an anecdote and you still live nearby, you can honestly just leave the name out entirely.

if you’re sharing a news story, it can just be a story you found and wanted to share. you don’t have to clarify “it happened in my town,” because even if you don’t mention your town name, an easily-googled news article will.

if you’re seeing a concert or meeting a celebrity on a tour that’s stopped locally, wait until they’ve hit a few more venues before you post about it, or at the very least wait until you get home. this is honestly a smart move for any event you attend: unless you’re marketing yourself, there’s no need to advertise your location in real time.

check your selfie backgrounds for anything identifying. this includes city names on venues, school names, street signs, and house numbers.

this stuff is flexible if you no longer live in your hometown, or if your city is particularly big, but there’s STILL no reason to tie yourself to your school, your workplace, or your street. you can call it paranoid, but as someone who’s seen my friends get literal death threats over fictional characters before, the last thing I want is someone willing to act on those threats finding out where they live.

I once had a friend post a photo while visiting me with both a unique local business and a set of street signs in the background, while they knew I was being stalked by someone who knew and potentially followed their account. I wasn't in that photo, but other posts from that weekend made it obvious they were staying with me. They hadn't yet been in a position where they regretted having that information publicly available, so it didn't occur to them to avoid sharing it.

"but we don't actually mean all of them" Words have meaning. All means all, and the attempt to backpedal it makes you look like a spineless coward.

"it's just venting" Your way to vent is to happily imagine genocide? That is what killing the entirety of a population for a trait would be, and while you could never do it, people who have those traits will see what you say and hold you to your hatred.

Seeking out transphobia online is a form of self harm.

Through out our lives, we will encounter enough transphobia without our consent, directly and indirectly, that will most likely result in PTSD. My therapist says my PTSD is so bad she compared it to someone returning from war (lmao). It can be debilitating at times and I am learning to manage, but im just happy to have survived long enough to see a good life is possible for someone like me.

I am 30. A lot of the people who were posting when I was 17, 18, 19, 20 are dead now. They arent here to beg you to protect your mental health and tell you the most important thing we can do, for ourselves and our community, is survive and thrive. So I am.

Please protect your peace at all costs.

Proving that transandrophobia exists by exposing yourself to hate for people who are not even engaging in good faith is not worth your life, or the lives of people in our community.

You do not have to take a screenshot of the most hateful thing you've ever seen and share it to thousands of other people who will be distressed and triggered by it too. Tumblr loves to take those posts and mass recommend them.

Do you wonder why? Do you think its to help us or hurt us to blast us with screenshots of new slurs? I think its to hurt us.

You are allowed to not like it, just keep it to yourself. No one needs more of that right now.

you might hate men, manhood and masculinity, you might personify the oppressing class of the patriarchy in every expression of these things but ultimately you’re raising a beast that’ll bite you too.

the moment you start feeling dysphoric you’ll see a man in the mirror and you’ll hate him just like you hate all men.

the body hair and facial stubble you’ve decreed to be the mark of the enemy you will find growing on you.

the edges and shapes that you’ve declared embodiment of all you despise you’ll see in every mirror.

Your transandrophobia IS transmisogyny as well.

Feminism cannot grow to healthy things from hatred and aversion.

Feminism is for men and women, it’s for nonbinary people and for agender folks.

This post.

This is intertransmisogyny!!

Mod reply:

"I am an intersex trans woman" "I am a plural trans woman" "I am a non-binary trans woman"

Without everyone and their dog asking "ERM so are you one of those FAKE trans women (woman pretending to be a man pretending to be a woman) or are you a (man pretending to be a woman ) REAL trans woman"

Part of why it isn't talked about is because of the method of detransition isn't always so black and white and it gives prisons a way to hide what they're doing. A devious and immoral slight of hand with the beurocracy.

When trans men are OFFERED to be put into the mens section, it's specifically as a threat. It's "Hey, we CAN put you with the other "men" but you know how men are....right? You KNOW how MEN ARE...right?"

There is a threat of rape and exploitation there far above what other inmates experience.

My pod mates were super chill with me being trans. Rules are different and you can't get offended easily, but it was the guards who kept touching me up, it was a guard who stabbed my hand with a pencil and gave me a scar there, and it was a guard who raped me.

So it's not just that trans men are being denied hrt and forcibly detransitioned.

It's that they are being told they have to pick between forced detransition in an environment where it will be AFAB bodied people exploiting them or they stick to their hrt and are in an environment where AMAB bodied people will be exploiting them.

These kinds of threats are big for trans people who are incarcerated. Many prisons and jails avoid it by just putting the person into lock down their entire stay (like me. My cell was 16 hand by 12 hands wide. I could walk my cell wirh 3 large steps. Sucked)