at the jfk museum. this place is kind of objectively funny as hell i think
"i love your earrings" thanks! its where jfk got shot
you can . you can hit him. w? In the head.
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at the jfk museum. this place is kind of objectively funny as hell i think
"i love your earrings" thanks! its where jfk got shot
you can . you can hit him. w? In the head.

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man y’all remember when the avengers movie came out and everyone headcanoned that all the avengers would live together in the tower and had all these cute posts about various fun ways they could interact and then the movies literally never had any of them even be friends
I want to state, for the record, that “all the avengers would live together in the tower” wasn’t collective headcanon, it was canon. The very last scene of Avengers (2012), the one they left us on, is Tony redesigning the tower, designing a living area for each Avenger. That was, canonically, what was supposed to happen, in canon, and they just changed their minds and decided to… not. For whatever goldarn reason.
GHHFDGJHFDS THATS EVEN FUNNIER WHY IS MARVEL LIKE THIS
Also it was canon for literal decades in the comics. First it was Avengers Mansion which was Tony’s Manhattan family home and then Avengers Tower when Tony built it. At one point Avengers Mansion couldn’t get their trash carried away because in order to operate in the US they had to be an embassy and NYC trash carriers don’t service embassies.
Marvel’s like that because the people incharge of marvel studios hate near every main character and have no consistant vision.
Also in the Avengers animated series that they did after the movie, they did all live together in the tower. The live action just diverted randomly
Not all dogs have jobs and I think they should get to wear little vests too
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the chain of events in this minute and a half clip is so extremely delightful and funny
kermit and scooter riffing on how their physicality doesn't let them open the envelope to announce the winner. the audience immediately cracking up when it cuts to statler and waldorf because they know what the bit is gonna be. jim henson slipping into the kermit voice accidentally before bouncing back at record speed and riffing on it. richard hunt genuinely laughing at jim's joke but doing so in-character. prime muppets was something else man
it's okay if you as a lesbian want to fuck the straight blonde popstar but you can't be pretending she's a lesbian too girl at least make it a lesbian corruption kink or some shit
"taylor swift is a lesbian" check your house for mold
"I can fuck the heterosexuality out of sabrina carpenter" questionable taste, but much more respectable
It happened
drives me nuts when ppl act like its somehow feminist to be a huge asshole to people because 'men are allowed to behave that way,' or whatever. ok. well i dont think men should be treating people like that either. and if they talk to me like you are talking to me, i will judge and avoid them as well.
"society gives men a pass for behaving in hurtful and selfish ways without consideration for the impact it has on the people around them, particularly those with less power" yeah
"so I'm going to deliberately emulate this behavior, and it will be feminist of me to do so" incorrect
Also the mirror image version of eg. “Black teenagers are treated like criminals for doing normal teenage things like existing in public, so it’s antiracist to also treat white teenagers like criminals by default!” Uh, no, actually I don’t think we should treat anyone that way. It’s not an issue that we’re treating white teenagers like people; it’s an issue that we’re treating Black teenagers like they aren’t.
right and i think the former often comes of people kind of viewing their behavior through the lens of your latter example
"woman are socially expected not to be good at sports. its empowering for women to choose to be good at sports bc of this" is sort of how i think "being a huge douchebag to the people around you" gets framed and its like. well. "excelling at track and field" and "deliberately dismissing the experiences of the people around you and the impact your behavior has on them" are in fact two very different things. as it turns out
every now and then I am reminded to my great chagrin that my mother is funnier than I am

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Always bear in mind that there is absolutely no legitimate evidence that Luigi was actually the one who killed the insurance company guy.
Of course he wasn't. He was at a party with me that day.
No but like literally, actually. All bits aside.
He didn't do it.
The cops very clearly planted evidence on him because they had to make an arrest because all eyes were on them and whoever actually did the deed was making them look stupid.
Why would the real killer hero have kept the weapon on his person and traveled two states over while carrying it and a manifesto in his bag, conveniently turning the crime into a federal matter? The same guy whose bag they found in a park, filled with monopoly money? Why did the police turn off their bodycams, take Luigi's stuff, drive a block away, turn their bodycams back on, go back into the restaurant, and then arrest him?
From the moment of his arrest, even left-of-center media has been presuming his guilt without examining anything (e.g. calling him "the killer" instead of "alleged" or "accused") and then when I say he didn't do it, the nearest person chimes in with some quip that tells me they think he did do it but should go free anyway. Don't get me wrong, I would have the same attitude if he had done it. But he didn't. It makes me feel like the only sane person in the world, even among my staunchly leftist friends.
Happy Birthday Big Bill!
funny you should mention that
This is what's so fucked up about "nothing that requires the labor of others is a human right".
The labor is already being done under capitalism. The laborers are already being underpaid under capitalism.
When you propose removing the greedy profiteers and paying the workers a reasonable wage, people call that "slavery" while they have no problem with the current system.
They're not even trying to make sense.
if you told vin diesel fast and the furious you were gay he'd be like "Some people like driving stick…some people like driving automatic…what matters is you cross the finish line.." and then he'd rev up a dodge challenger and drive through a building and kill 16 people
he literally did in the fourth one when he's asked if he likes cars more than women
If you asked if he was cool with trans people, he'd probably say "sometimes, aftermarket parts are the only way to get the vehicle you really want. Everyone should have the right to hot rod."
in fucking Tears thinking about how disgusting a baby griffin would look
behold. my ugly son.
Species accurate version
wretched little creature

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"biological" really just means "state enforced" at this point
"what is your state enforced sex?" "there are two state enforced genders" "use state enforced pronouns to identify students" "transition is against your body's state enforced purpose"
When some TERFs started saying "biological name" (instead of "deadname") it really said this out loud.
hero/villain showdown but one of them has a spontaneous medical emergency and the battle gets put on hold while their archnemesis drives them to Urgent Care
In the human hospital:
Doofenshmirtz: "No, he's not a pet! He's... my service animal!"
Hospital staffer: *Looks at the green. hat-wearing platypus, which is definitely not a dog or miniature horse as covered by the ADA.* "...I see. What work or task has he been trained to perform?"
Doofenshmirtz: "Oh, all kinds of things! He's trained in hand-to-hand combat; he can break down walls; he can drive a submarine; he--"
Perry: *platypus facepalm*
Doofenshmirtz: "Oh, right, you mean for me. For my disability. He... signals me when I'm getting off topic! And, uh, takes notes during medical appointments so I don't forget anything."
Hospital staffer: *Looks at the (green, hat-wearing) platypus that demonstratably redirected the guy from his tangent and overall appears to be way less disruptive than a lot of human patients.* "...Sure. Just make sure your, uh, 'service dog' stays with you."
Doofenshmirtz: "Well, he's actually a plat--" *Perry kicks him in the ankle* "Yes, yes, of course. He'll stay right here."