noise dept.
Not today Justin
hello vonnie
𩵠avery cochrane š©µ
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Mike Driver
macklin celebrini has autism
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Claire Keane
Today's Document
š

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icyghini twinkie
I'd rather be in outer space šø
The Stonewall Inn

oozey mess
Fai_Ryy
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@megoons-spoons

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im fucking crying
I can't believe home depot literally produced a wildly successful science fiction musical and we all just pretend it didn't happen. on one hand yes it had a boring white guy main character but like.... home depot just... Made it? And it had shit ton of box office sales? and no one even talks about this. this is like avatar (2009) all over again
OK so. After a lot of frantic googling I realized this was all a dream. home depot did not in fact produce a wildly successful science fiction musical. I was on allergy meds and took a nap and my brain simply prophesized this. slightly disappointed because I wanted to watch it.
World Heritage Post
proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.
>no idea what a tumblr accent even is
>āoozes off of me like a thick miasmaā
im angry at myself for walking into that so perfectly
just a heads up. im gonna do a big curse soon
okay so honestly i wasnāt expecting theyād be able to hide the body for this long
LINDSEY GRAHAM ?

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ā octobersfilm on substack (via letsbelonelytogetherr)
ultimately the truth about frankenstein is that we are all grotesque amalgamations of the best and worst parts of everyone who came before us. and sometimes the people who are supposed to love us because of and in spite of this will not. and we can kill them with hammers for that. and i think thatās beautiful
My cringe fucking baby and her derivative drivel
thanks to compilation efforts, three posts regarding the gneep gnorp population are able to be read together in a single post, and they are now the most documented species out of all creatures on earth

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A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, āMy car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?ā The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, āWe canāt tell you. Youāre not a monk.ā The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, āWe canāt tell you. Youāre not a monk.ā The man says, āAll right, all right. Iām *dying* to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?ā The monks reply, āYou must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.ā The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, āI have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.ā The monks reply, āCongratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.ā The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, āThe sound is right behind that door.ā The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, āReal funny. May I have the key?ā The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst. Finally, the monks say, āThis is the last key to the last door.ā The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound. But I canāt tell you what it is because youāre not a monk
Originally posted by disneyasastrology
BWAHAHAHAHAH.Ā
the way i learned this, it was always told through spoken word. And youād do the door thing for ages. AGES. literally just making up any old material.Ā ābehind the foam door is a door made of spinachā that kind of shit. Go on until whoever is listening has already begged you to stop and has now gone on to pleading, clutching your shirt on their knees pleading. And when you finally said the last line? People went fucking nuts Like there was a good chance of just getting the teeth knocked out of you after telling that joke.
A friend of mine did that shit for 30 minutes on a camp once. The entire fucking bus just exploded in anger when she finished. It was a fucking massacre.Ā
Good news: if youāre currently laying around and not producing anything, you are a credit to your species.
Itās recently been found that even hive insects rest. Bees will play with colorful toys. Ants sleep for about 1 minute but they do it so frequently it amounts to a few hours per day. Even trees take breaks.
The only things that work without rest are machines; literally everything that lives requires rest.
EVERYTHING THAT LIVES REQUIRES REST. STOP JUDGING YOURSELF FOR NOT BEING A ROBOT.
robots require very frequent breaks! welding machines generally have it programmed in that they canāt run so long they melt themselves. ive overseen two different manufacturing robots now and each of them were fragile, finicky idiots that require constant maintenance and repair. they pause in between moves, in between jobs. youāre always keeping an eye on programming errors, on coolant levels, on heat. youāre always pulling bits of scrap out of joints, sweeping up debris, washing off nozzles and untangling hoses. and even then it snaps a chain and takes a whole morningās vacation.
even robots need downtime.
In the name of the faggot, the dyke, and the holy tranny, I bless you. Go forth my child, and have as much gay sex as possible
Queer Slur Heritage Post
going over to my minimalist girlfriendās house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and thereās just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room
Blue Lois
can i help you
Red Marge
jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack
World Heritage Post
i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didnāt try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had āthe official letter hā add on to this post. you wanna know that blogās gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

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ancient greek word of the day: κακοθεĻĪ®Ļ (kakotherÄs),Ā unfitted to endure summer heat
this literally means ābad at summerā pass it on
Reblog if you, too, are bad at summer
World Heritage Post