[ID: Gauche painting of a vibrant orange-red tiger creature against dark foliage, gazing behind itself to meet the viewer. Its stripes are tinted green, with an extra set of legs; it curves around a small, bright red star. End ID.]

can someone just do it already but for real this time

Not enough people talking about how well broccoli holds a sauce

basketball players fight over the basketball because they are hypnotized before each game to believe it is their egg

not now kitten mommy is having imaginary beef with a person she hasn't spoken to in six years

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

if you're a morally dubious man on tv what you're going to want to do is go look at your kids while they're sleeping. then drive your car somewhere

Fujoshi wife fills her house with chintz knowingly

therapyspeak jigsaw: are you in the right headspace to play a game that could possibly hurt you?

they should invent a drug that makes you talk normaler so people like you