faerie mad max

- walking new paths! i have one single route i can walk, if i walk anywhere else on my own i get anxious and scared, but i know from experience that if i have a dog with me this anxiety goes away (not completely, but like. huge difference)

- getting out at all, tbh. since i only have one route i can walk and that route is 8km long and takes me about 1.5h to walk, im not always very excited to walk it and even though i really enjoy the walk and walking, it becomes A Thing. i need to prep for it and make sure i have the time and a bunch of things that makes it uncomfortable (once im out walking it is mostly just nice)

- getting a better routine. i have an OK routine right now, but it falls apart easily

but for me. im always looking at the clock to make sure i didnt spend too much time on something. i am running back and forth to make sure my house doesnt catch fire when cooking. i put timers on everything. im almost never late. i can probably count on one hand the amount of times ive been late the past year (dont remember further than that)

it does happen that i forget to watch the clock like a hawk and when that happens i do run late, etc, but it's so rare because i am. always. keeping track of time. because if i dont, i am terrified of the consequences. i know time moves fast and that i cant sense its passing, so i have to make sure i keep track.