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when a child goes to Build-A-Bear and constructs a teddy from the parts available no one bats an eye, but when I, Victor Frankenstein,

ok so I looked it up, and it turns out they made a track out of PVC pipes, down a hill. The owner didn't realise PVC expanded in the heat, so on a turn the track just fell apart and the dude inside went over a fucking free way and into a swamp.

The funniest part is that the inspector was watching the whole time, and once the ball stopped he left without saying anything. Park management just shut it down then and there.

You guys ever see a DNI that makes you break out into laughter and almost cry

[scrolling through old posts on my blog] I would not fucking say that

please be careful with these, they’re antiques

i literally said “even the cop gets in trouble” like, yesterday

my brother started calling our cat "doobie brother" which he then lengthened to "dubious brother" and has since morphed into "brother dubious" like he's some sort of fucked up little monk

boobs is better than titties as a word because boobs is bouba while titties is kiki

DB Cooper mystery solved: he survived and used the money to start the film website "IMDb" (I am DB)

we kill the bat man

Clearly you don't own an air fryer

It’s not an appliance the Jedi would sell you