#how long have we been holding on to this one?
I held onto this for six whole months. It was soooo hard waiting.
Cosmic Funnies

Origami Around
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
DEAR READER

Kaledo Art
we're not kids anymore.


blake kathryn
I'd rather be in outer space đ¸
One Nice Bug Per Day
Today's Document


⣠Chile in a Photography âŁ
Mike Driver
RMH

Janaina Medeiros

JBB: An Artblog!

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@bakekateable
#how long have we been holding on to this one?
I held onto this for six whole months. It was soooo hard waiting.

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Happy Pride!
Every pride, you must reblog this. No exceptions
Anyone gonna mention how this guy actually preformed live with Carly Rae Jepsen?
Iâm gonna scream is2g
Ive been counting down the days until I could reblog this
anyone: may the fourth be with you
me, already confused about catholicism:
Miss Rhode Island, please describe your idea of a perfect date. Thatâs a tough one. MISS CONGENIALITY (2000) dir. Donald Petrie

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HAPPY REX MANNING DAY! (April 8)
Empire Records (1995)
Mean Girls (2004), dir. Mark Waters
I wish I knew the exact time and date that harry told snape âthereâs no need to call me sir professorâ so that I could take a moment of silence to remember the moment each year
Judging from the context of the chapterâŚ
We know that itâs September 2nd. Iâd put it between 9:00 AM and 11:00 AM. (They have breakfast and then a free period. They have Snapeâs class before their break, which was before their lunch.)
But in the UK first period typically only starts at 9 AM. So free period from around 9-10 AM and Snapes class from 10-11 AM Iâd say.
Okay so 10am-11am every September 2nd is now an hour dedicated to remembering the most glorious piece of dialogue ever spoken by a fictional character
ok this just appeared on my blog with ample time for you all to prepare because apparently I stumbled across it months ago, and scheduled it to post on september first. executive function TRIUMPH!!!!!!!
Worth noting that tomorrow is the 20th anniversary of the greatest burn in history
itâs that time again lads
#a summary
Do you mean

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Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*
My cat: Father isâŚevil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.
The spiritual successor to Miette
Might I also add
May i add the piece from artist Verbal Vomit
Glad to see weâre all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children
I am so incredibly glad we finally moved on from âi can hasâ. Cats are clearly smart enough for advanced sentence structure and dumb enough to draw entirely incorrect conclusions about what theyâre talking about.
My cat, banging the cabnet door over and over and over: bang bang bang
Me: you will not earn what you desire by banging the cabinet door.
My cat: This is a test of wills, is it not? We shall see if your ability to put up with my incessant banging outlasts my eternal lust for snackie treats. Years of conditioning have hardened me for this purpose. bang bang bang
Me: ksst!
My cat, throwing herself to the ground like sheâs been shot: Oh! Oh I have been assailed in my own home! Have mercy, have pity! Surely in the cruel darkness of your heart there is some mote of goodness that might stay your hand! Do not strike me, I pray you!
Me: ok
My cat, after waiting about 3 minutes: bang bang bang
Can haz snackytreat
(source)
Source
Why Construction Matters; or, Not Looking Like a Piece of Your Skirt Was Shot Out of Your Own Ass
Clothes are made up of pieces and all of those pieces have names.  One of those pieces is a triangle, and one of those names is âgodet.â  This refers, specifically, to a triangle of fabric inserted between two other pieces to provide flare.
That big triangle smack in the middle of the skirt. Â That right there is a godet, providing the flare necessary for locomotion in this 1930s bias-cut dress. Â At some point, I promise, I will deliver my sermon on the bias and why it is the Best Thing Ever, but that day is not today, because today we are talking about godets. Â (Although letâs take a moment to admire the fastening on this dress, because thatâs a classy bit of work.)
The point of the godet, as previously stated, is to provide flare, and so they show up a lot in skirts. Â Correctly inserted, particularly in a bias-cut dress, they are fully capable of creating a skirt that drapes sensuously in repose, swirls seductively in motion, and is in all situations slinky as hell.
Keira Knightley in a bias-cut dress for the late â30s portion of Atonement, demonstrating drape, swirl, and slink. Â The godet at the back of the dress is clearly visible in the last two pictures; the way the sash embellishment hangs obscures its compatriot in the front in the other two, but by the way the fabric is moving around her legs, itâs there. Â
This is a godet fitted well, moving subtly with the rest of the skirt in such a way most people wonât notice its existence until a dork points it out. Â Knightley also looks to be wearing â30s-correct (ish, at least) shapewear, including either a sort of long corselet or girdle to the upper thigh, so while the skirt clings to her legs at the front when she walks, itâs not highlighting any butt cleavage when she stands. Â Basically how a modern sportsbra gives the monobosom effect, only on the butt.
Like this, okay?  Which one always put on AFTER the heels, obviously, for just this effect.  I mean, Iâm not going to lie, if I had â30s shapewear, Iâd totally wear just that with my repro heels from time to time, and if I have to explain why, you need a kind of help I canât give you.  (In all honesty, once the corselet is attached to the stockings as sheâs doing in the picture, getting in position to fasten the shoes may be a bit tricky.  This does not mean anyone who decides to parade about in vintage shapewear and heels shouldnât cite this image as entirely historical justification for doing so.)
BUT GODETS, you insist, enough with this shapewear suspense intermission, weâre here for the godets, those fascinating triangles!
Back to godets, where they go is something that depends not only on the design of the dress, but also the specific curvature of the wearer.  With the curvature reduction provided by the corselet, the point of Knightleyâs godet can come where it does without looking weird (example of âweirdâ to follow).  She has a flat ass, so itâs cool, is what Iâm saying.  If the wearer has curvature (âbooty,â in the vernacular), however, the placement of the godet gets trickierâit either needs to be higher than the greatest point of curvature (where the ass sticks out the most), in which case the fabric of the godet will start to spread out immediately rather than only when in motion, or significantly below, in which case the dress will hug the booty, then suddenly flare out.
Putting a godet up that high defeats the point, literallyâyou may as well use a gore, which is like a godet thatâs had the pointy top bit cut off.
Gored skirt dress patternsâon the right, you can see that there are four pieces to the skirt, which are essentially triangles with the point tops cut off.  While the drape and graceful flow will still be achieved, because the bias is the coolest thing ever, some of the slink seen in godet skirts is lost.  Both Pinterest and a google image search for gored vs. godet skirts can you provide you with more examples of the loss of slinkage.  This continues regardless of era, I chose this example from the â30s less because of its time period and more because, as was common in the â30s, these are also cut on the bias.  And while the bias preserves some slinkage, itâs really a godet that gives the most.
So thatâs what happens if you stick a godet up high in the skirtâs construction.  If your godet hangs lowâŚ
âŚas in this â30s-inspired example by Atelier Versace which may very well be the only thing Iâve ever liked, let alone loved, by them, where the godetâs point can be seen nearly a foot down the center seam from the base of the cape.  Which is also significantly below any butt curvature.  (Look, as weird as I feel talking about staring at celebritiesâ butts, when you start looking at garment construction the body ceases to be anything but a shape that has to be fitted, so you donât really see butts anymore, just curvature that determines where a godet should go.  This carries over to fitting garments on people, when grabbing their butts should be really awkward, but itâs more just âwhy is this fitting mannequin making squeaking noises, oh, itâs a person, whoops.â  I still feel weird talking about it.)  The result of this extremely low-slung godet being that the upper part of the skirt fits very snugly (again, itâs cut on the bias, and I swear a bias-cut skirt can make a flat-assed girl look bootylicious), with the skirt flaring around her legs.  Because the godet is really long and narrow, we get this great train effect, as well.  Damn, Versace.  When you get it together, by which I mean go seriously vintage, you do nice work.
And then there is the middle option. Â The godet directly on the greatest point of curvature, or just below it. Â And that is when you get this.
That is a disaster of a godet. Â I really like the concept that the embellishment on the back gradually tapers to a point that meets the point of the godet, which then flares out the skirt. Â That is a lovely concept. Â This is not a lovely result. Â Because of where the godetâs point lies on this particular womanâs curvature, it basically looks like sheâs shooting a triangle of fabric out of her own asshole, and that is just weird on top of aesthetically displeasing. Â This would be a problem even with a filmier fabric and a narrower angle, but this one is so wide that the godet flares out very suddenly, before the rest of the skirt even has a chance to catch up with itâhence the very visible Triangle of Fabric here, vs. the more subtle flow of the Atonement skirt, where the pieces all move together. Â The effect is of a rather nice pencil dress that planned on hugging the wearerâs figure nearly to the knee, whose plans were foiled by a godet suddenly shot out of her ass. Â
In conclusion, the bias is awesome, godets are awesome, â30s and â30s-inspired dresses using godets well are awesome, but the wrong godet on the wrong part of the ass and all is lost.  And talking about actressesâ butts on the internet is weird.
As somebody who periodically talks about actressesâ (and actorsâ!) bodies in the interest of analyzing why things donât fit, I appreciate everything about this post.
Great fashion construction nerdery here and also I am incapable of not marvelling over the green Atonement dress every time I see it.
400% of mental illness is thinking this is probably just how hard life is for everyone and you just canât handle it because youâre a whiny baby who isnât trying hard enough.
Non-Americans who escalate inter-nationality teasing immediately to âschool shootings and trumpâ stop challengeÂ
Americanâs Teasing England: Tea in the shower, u have a queen, other relatively benign stereotypesÂ
Americanâs Teasing Canada: u have moose and beavers, maple syrup u like it
Americanâs Teasing Australia: kangaroos and koalas, itâs hot there, summer time, toilets flush backward
Canada, England, and Australia retaliating from that teasing: school shootings, kill a child today hm? your police murder you, youâre gonna die from a preventable disease, everyone in the country is hopelessly poor and dying, everyoneâs in debt, you canât even afford to die. THATâll teach u to tease us about having ANIMALS in our country!Â
I mean, sure, itâs all fun and games to you. But Iâve had friends legitimately try to kill themselves just thinking about a future in this country. I have co-workers who cried on the first day of school because they were scared of dying. While I was working at a school there were three school shooting threats in 4 weeks. I had friends break out into tears after the massacre in 2018 talking about it in class, terrified that they were going to die while workingâor watch students die.Â
My high school history teacher was shot in the back on campus. Everyone here knows someone whoâs been affected by gun violence. Everyone knows someone whoâs been affected by healthcare, or lack thereof. Everyone knows someone whose life has been ruined by college debt.Â
The day in, day out nightmare of living in America is not a fucking âGOTCHAâ for when youâre trying to tease America. Why is this so hard to comprehend.Â
Non-Americans: Ugh americans are so entitled and mean and rude
Also Non-Americans: Oh youâre gonna make fun of me drinking tea? Well youâre gonna be violently murdered and then youâll go into thousands upon thousands of dollars in debt from the act lol this is an equivalent comparison and doesnât make me look like the asshole in the situation at all!! Americans are soooo rude!
Any examples of what we can tease you about then? Any universal Americanisms that cause the right amount of offense without stepping over the line?
Imperial system
Shoes on in house
Smiling too much
High school football
Opossums, raccoons, deer, etc.
Carpet (Iâve heard other countries arenât as obsessed with carpet as Americans)
Sales tax (how much will this cost? Nobody knows!)
Roadside tourist attractions (worldâs biggest ball of yarn etc)
âitâs only a 6 hour driveâ
Buying tea in a gallon jug
Being in the prairie states and there literally being nothing in any direction for miles not even trees
Tornadoes anything to do with tornado culture
Waffle house
The mere concept of semi trucks / 18 wheelers
Every state except California claiming they have the weirdest weather
five petrol stations within a two block radius, sometimes two of the same brand ketchup is too spicy mayonnaise on/in literally everything we put noodles and mayo in a bowl and call it a salad i shit you not absolute failures at geography deep fried everything. seriously. we deep fry BUTTER.
Absolutely everything and anything somehow being a casserole
HELL IS REAL billboard here in Ohio
The giant dinosaur roadside tourist attraction out in the middle of nowhere
Route 66
Corn fields, everywhere you look
Weird salads (like ambrosia)
Fanny packs
Prom (Iâve heard other countries donât have prom? Or any of the other 100 school dances a year??)
People microwave their tea instead of boiling it
The white people half-jog-and-wave combo when crossing the street
Endless ads for pharmaceuticals
the spelling and pronunciation dissonance of âArkansasâ
Everything in Texas being shaped like Texas itself. Iâve teased Texans about this and the responses are always either a frustrated yet resigned sigh or a boisterous âHell yeah, it is! TEXAS! WOO!â
Freeways. Look a Californian in the eyes, say âthe 405âł and watch a piece of their soul flicker out.
Our collective inability to decide the pronunciation of âkebabâ.
Sweetened tea is somehow the default.
That every restaurant claims to be âworld famousâ and somehow nobody ever gets called out on that bullshit.
The utter nonsense that is our continued fascination with disco.
Stomp your foot twice and then clap your hands once. Repeat several times. See what happens.
[Image description: a stock photo of a woman holding an apple in both hands. If you are not from the United States, the apple is fucking huge, at least according to my British friends. If youâre from the US, itâs normal.]
^ That? Is a normal-sized apple. Three apples at the supermarket = about 1 Âź pounds. (Thatâs about four-tenths of a kilogram.) According to my friend from Bristol, this is FREAKISHLY large. I sent him a photo of one of our so-called âlunchbox-sizedâ apples and his response was âthatâs a normal apple. WTF do you think a full-sized apple is thenâ and I just about gave him a damn heart attack sending him a picture of a regular one, which covers my entire palm and then some.
âOur milk takes like three or four weeks to expire. No, I am not shitting you. Same friend and I had an entire argument over Sherlock because of the âsheâs been gone at least two days, the milkâs gone offâ in the second episode, with me insisting that was too much bullshit to be believed and him insisting that no, milk goes off in 3-4 days, what kind of freakish Frankenstein milk am I drinking. ( @rowanthestrangeâ, paging you for this conversation.)
âAmerican cooking: âlook! I put three cans in a pot and added ketchup!â If you can do closer to âfrom scratchâ than this, people will look at you with fucking awe. I make a salsa for company parties thatâs functionally âchop things and put them in a bowl, do this at certain times for three days so all the flavors meld rightâ and people think Iâm some kind of wizard, and, in spite of the fact that you should not be able to fuck this up, they always always always do in fact manage to fuck it up when trying to recreate it.
--I have never had British bread, but I have been told by multiple British friends whoâve been to America that our bread is almost as sweet as British cake. Same with our milkâapparently itâs weirdly sweet.
âwe have to refrigerate our eggs.
âapparently we say aluminum weird? (I personally think YâALL say it weird, but whatever, again, Rowan can confirm we have had entire arguments about this)
âschedule. We say it so the first bit is like âschool,â WHICH MAKES SOME FUCKING SENSE.
âa certain subset of Americans just being like. Wildly obsessed with historical reenactment. And Iâm not talking about the douchey Confederate ones, either. There are like entire groups that go out and dress as Ben Franklin and do âIâm standing on a literal soapbox teaching you about the Founding Fathersâ stuff at Fourth of July festivals and stuff. Iâve met some of them. They use historical sewing tools and methods. Can you imagine sewing an entire fucking colonial dress and all its undergarments, by hand, with a bone needle?! FOR FUN?!?
âtimezones. There are seven time zones in the United States (Eastern, Central, Mountain, Arizona, Pacific, Alaska, Hawaii-Aleutian) . If youâve ever seen an American commercial that says something like âat 8PM Eastern, 7pm Central,â itâs referring to the two easternmost timezones.
NONE OF US UNDERSTAND THE SLANG. IF YOU TELL AN AMERICAN YOUVE NEVER HEARD OF A TERM (EVEN IF YOURE AMERICAN) THEY LOSE THEIR SHIT
football! seriously, american football and everything surrounding it.
football parties, including massive âsuper bowl partiesâ that can have dozens of people. going to high school football games even as adults. watching football on tv, especially on holidays.
the weird obsession with potlucks that is apparently not quite as common in other places. i mean we have potluck dinners for all sorts of gatherings and parties, we even have them for weddings
corn and soybeans, everywhere you look
midwesterners saying âope!â about everything
the absolute inability of like half the population to pronounce âcaughtâ correctly (itâs more like âcot,â and this is also true of other â-aughtâ sounding words like âthoughtâ)
âhow far is it?â âabout 20 minutes, 10 if the traffic ainât badâ
oranges the size of softballs
massive portion sizes at restaurants because we take half the meal home (not because we always eat everything in a single sitting, but because we have enough left overs for a second meal)
breakfast foods being predominently sweet
the way people in tornado alley will literally just sit on their porch and watch the tornado go past their houses with little to no alarm
*midwesterner sees a cow for the 92783916207439735825th time* âcow!!!â
how you can stand the parking lot of one church and toss rocks to hit 6 other churches in some towns
deserted highways
saguaro cacti (the stereotypical wild west cacti) and how they can literally reach like 40ft in height and are illegal to cut down
our unholy obsession with cheese
area 51
vast temperature differences from region to region
the fact that alaska could consume us all at any moment, considering itâs sheer girth
florida man
the fact that we talk about specific states and get confused when nonamericans donât know where the fuck weâre talking about
Road trips. Proper road trips because it takes days to get across the country. But also, sometimes here in the Midwest we drive 3 hrs across half a state to meet a friend for lunch because they live on the other side of the state and when else will you see them? But 6 hrs round trip is not a road trip...
Hitmen to lovers trope be like ; we have been stalking each other so long now we can read us like a book and there are no possible ways left to a kill you so let's just get married and aggressively look after each other. Previous Scenes include protecting the other from harm because you want to make the kill and making sure the idiot doesn't cry to sleep again without dinner because you have standards and you can't kill a weakened target.
Hey, anon, thank you for the prompt, which i love! WHAT A SURPRISE, this got WILDLY away from me and turned out pretty long for just the first scene. Weâre not even to the wedding yet!! but donât worry, itâs coming. I hope you enjoy even if this only got to the aggressive looking out for each other, lolÂ
hitman au
The Soldier is the best of the best, the assassin his employers send when they don't want it to look like a murderâor when they want it to be an all-too-obvious murder, when they want a shot from a position that no one else could have made, a death so blatant that no one else could have pulled it off.
Well, almost no one else.
There's the Captain, of course, although the Soldier hates to admit it. But the Captain is his equal, and the two of them have spent years thwarting each other. Their employers are most often on opposite sides, and the Soldier has come up against the Captain so often that the familiarity he feels when he sees him is dangerously close to fondness.
Not that anyone can know that. His employer, Hydra, sends him out on whatever mission they deem appropriateâit doesn't matter what he thinks or wants. He doesn't know if there's an ethical way to create a hitman, but itâs definitely not the Hydra way; they had recruited him to a prosthetics program after he lost his left arm in a car wreck, and then once he had the prosthetic arm, it had been the threat to his family that had kept him with them through the brutal training. He hasnât seen his family in years; itâs better that way. Safer for them.
His mind tends to wander on a long stakeout like this, especially under the circumstances. He ate the last of his MREs two days ago, and hunger has left him weaker than is optimal. He hasn't slept in thirty-six hours, either, because his handler left and has yet to return. The handler has likely come to some harm, but the Soldier will still complete the mission. He has no other choice. He just hopes the target shows up soon.
The target is a turncoat twice over, or maybe three times depending on how you count it. He'd taken Hydra secrets to Shield, the rival organization for which the Captain works, then turned around and sold both their secrets to the United States government. If he hasn't flipped on the government, it's only because he hasn't had time yet. And now, he never will.
The target had a five day window to come to this position; the Soldier's handlers were unable to narrow the window down any farther. This is, by the Soldier's count, day four. He can hold out another day if he needs to. It won't be pleasant, but pleasant hasn't dictated anything about his life in years. He blames the gnawing in his belly and the fatigue pressing at the back of his skull that it takes him so long to hear the footsteps approaching.
But when the sound registers, it's only an instant before he flips around, away from his sniper rifle, handgun drawn and pointed atâ
The Captain.
Hey, yâall, this is now a *checks notes* 10k fic! Itâs up over on AO3 if youâre into that <3Â

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âCaptain Kirk may be bisexual in the new CBS Star Trek project!â
Every single person who has functional eyes and has ever watched at least one episode/movie/scene with James Tiberius Kirk in any universe:
important for AO3 writers
So a while ago I asked staff at AO3 why it was that I could post a work, update it with chapters, and have it appear no higher than tenth, ever, even with new chapters, on a busy fandom. I finally got an explanation.Â
âIf, however, your work is appearing below works that were already visible, itâs possible youâre running into an issue that occurs when a work is posted between 12:00 AM and 5 AM UTC - works posted during this time frame cause the system to believe the work has had a posting date set manually. (Normally you would do this by ticking âSet a different publication dateâ in the posting form.) This also applies to works that were initially saved as a draft on a date previous to the day they are posted. Works that have been backdated are assigned a default time of day, which may be earlier than the actual time you posted the work.â
So donât post during that time. It just HAPPENS to be between 5 pm and 10 pm Pacific time so posting things after dinner is RIGHT OUT if you happen to live on the west coast of the US. Thatâs between 8 pm and 1 am east coast time.
So until they fix this (and itâs been going on a LONG time, theyâre working on it but itâs a massive code overhaul, apparently) Iâll be posting fics OTHER times. This means if youâre posting a long, multichapter work, posting the first chapter in the evening can screw up the entire rest of your posting. Posting a draft before posting for reals will also keep you from being at the top of the list. And this probably explains why some of my fics have done better than others. What does this look like? Someone posts at, say, 4 in the afternoon my time. I come along and post around 8 pm, which is pretty typical for me, but it gets marked as âset manuallyâ and given a time much earlier in the day, and thus appears behind everything posted that day. So itâs never on top, people start reading down the list, think theyâve seen everything thatâs at the top, and donât poke any farther. So for writers, DO NOT POST BETWEEN 12:00 AM and 5 AM UTC. Google will translate, just plug in 12 am UTC and it will pop up your local time in most places. For readers, realize this exists and that youâre probably missing something. Scroll back if itâs between those hours, and after those hours.Â
And at some point theyâll fix this to something less arcane.