That_awkward_moment

being the waitresses defense lawyer every time you go out to eat with your family. it ain’t much but it’s honest work

If Trump goes to prison during pride month I will literally never stop laughing like to charge reblog to cast give me all of your evil thoughts and prayers for this freak to get his first ever consequence.

LOVE the set design in the new batman movie. they said fuck that penthouse, white walled, all glass mansion shit, bruce wayne lives in dracula's castle

if you’ve been on tumblr for a while then you are one of three types of people. you either A) have kept one main blog since the beginning that you shift to revolve around your current interests and hope your followers understand. B) you have a main blog for general stuff and then 17 specifically curated sideblogs each dedicated to a different hyperfixation you once had. or finally C) you create a new email and make a brand new main blog every time you change fandoms whilst quietly deleting your old one and acting like it never existed. personally i’m C what about you guys

are there actually new tumblr users or are we just memeing ourselves into a fever dream where this site is popular again like two hundred thousand people hallucinating as they die in a trench

build your army, form powerful alliances, wage war with your enemies. all on tumblr.com

incredibly grateful that tumblr doesn’t have a memories feature like every other social media platform because frankly i am terrified to even think about what kind of tomfoolery and hooliganery i was getting into 6 years ago on this website

tumblr’s memories feature is other users, because every once in a while one of you motherfuckers will reblog a post i made in like 2012 and detonate all of my bones like they’re C4

what is stopping hackers from displaying jeff bezo’s credit card number on times square

That just isn't right. If they displayed his credit card number, the credit company would likely waive all charges made to the account and pay for it by raising fees for everyone else. If they display his DEBIT card, though, that's a direct line baby.

you. i like you.