….

the best way i can think to describe the experience of reading moby dick is you’re in line at the dmv and this guy behind you very loudly says “well who HASN’T had a gay experience” and then proceeds to tell you every detail about his life in between anecdotes about how great sperm is and how ropes work and sometimes he’ll say the most poetic shit you’ve ever heard in your life and them jump RIGHT back into explaining how a whale is a fish because 1) it swims in water and you’re still only like halfway through the dmv line

The twin towers wish they were me. The way things fly over my head.

All fantasy authors wish they had a bigger bathtub in their house. You can tell by every bathing scene ever written into a fantasy novel

Poop is shaped like that cuz it was in ur in test tons

i wish these university types would stop shoving their higher education in my fucking face

transgender deadname on mutual aid venmo ignorance pact. i do not see it

THE BOTTOM IS A PAINTING????

also does a really good job reminding the view just how much air quality has improved since we stopped burning coal in every building lol

i feel like there is a sleep in me that needs to be slept but each time i sleep i don't sleep that sleep

Your too late mr bond I alreasy peed out all my pee from my penis

i explained the concept of freaking it to my 15,000 year old grandfather and he remained motionless within the glacier