what's normal for the spider then is chaos for the fly

whenever people talk about regret irt medical transition and top surgery especially i always think of an older cis(ish) butch woman who was always quick to tell anyone she saw binding about how she did it for decades because of severe dysphoria and how she absolutely wrecked her back and now in her old age couldnt comfortably bind anymore but also had other like unrelated health and aging issues that meant she no longer felt safe with the risk of surgery besides what she already needed. and basically that she was put off from surgery because of stupid ftm butch border wars and narratives about regret and unnecessary cosmetic surgeries and what she always told those ppl binding was that they should get surgery as soon as possible and not risk another year of binding and developing back pain or risk the possibility being taken away from them. loved that diva down but every interaction with her was so thoroughly colored by the deep regret she felt at not pursuing transition. that's the kind of regret and longing i think about and worry about irt medical transition far far more than regrets about doing the transitioning in the first place ykwim

"R u rooting for Belgium or the US" im rooting for the stadium to blow up