A Mad Girl's Love Song

never ask a woman her age a man his salary your mutual how late it is in her timezone when she starts posting about that bisexual man

Thats just Matt Mercer

God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers and I'm dodging the draft

DW I know that one from heart if you need an explanation

Thanks tumblr user i-suggest-vore. I can always count on you for theological literacy wait is there a different reason you like this story

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

#tapping the reblog button with utmost care because i’m handling a historical artifact (via @malarkiness)

if you published A Modest Proposal on tumblr you would get about a 45 minute grace period before people started helpfully informing you in the notes that cannibalism is a real thing that does happen sometimes and also if you think about it poor people are effectively being eaten by the rich, especially children, so even though op was joking it's actually a serious issue

@ jonathan swift did you know sometimes poor people's bodies ARE actually exploited by the rich irl

Historically insensitive that he specifically recommends eating Irish babies. It's like he's not even aware of England's colonial occupation of Ireland.

THE WAY SHE POSED AFTERWARDS HFKFBDK

Better with sound

I HAVE GUARDED THIS DOMAIN FOR OVER A DECADE. FROM PEST, FIRE AND BRIMSTONE. AND YOU DARE SAY NO MORE TREATS??!?

*the opening of O Fortuna, perfectly timed, plays in the background*

Georg craves a variety of flavors.