This is a title probably

Yeah, it's time to get this post out again

Reblog to save a duck

Quack quack

It’s getting to be that time of year where more people are going outside to parks and stuff so i thought it would a good idea to reblog this again

hard cider was invented when someone decided to make beer that tastes good instead of bad

stupid fuckin post. People have been making beer since before they even knew how to write and you think that they don’t like the way it tastes?

damn all that time and it still tastes really bad. huge L tbh

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes

don't go into the humanities because they're unprofitable and don't go into stem cuz its getting torn apart right now and don't go into buisness because it's competetive and speculative and don't go into education because it pays like shit. Just lay on thr ground. Just lay on the ground.

im so sorry that you're doomed by the narrative but i really need you to answer my message on Microsoft Teams

if you're having trouble sleeping the best you can do is put a bright object close to your face and look at it for at least 30 minutes. if that doesn't work you can close your eyes but make sure to think really hard about a bunch of bullshit

once you realize you don’t actually need to sleep, you can really (stops talking abruptly and stares straight ahead for 4 minutes)

at least sisyphus only had one never-ending task. i have like 50 and all of them cost money

Smacka smacka smacka

Enrichment!

4 non blondes were right. I DO wake up in the morning and I step outside and I take a deep breath and I get real high and I scream from the top of my lungs what’s going on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think being pinned onto the clothesline and fluttering in the afternoon breeze while I sun dry would cure me actually

Imagine the level of whimsy I could reach if I just had $5M in my bank account rn