sup nerds i'm aster

I just want to get dicked down again =/

if you’re reading this i hope something good happens to you today

a jpeg is like an animal

i think a png is like a bird

a pdf is like a habitat or biome, similar to a mud flat or plateau environment

"dracula's wives" no those are his deadbeat roommates who haven't paid rent in a millennium and just hang around the castle providing ambience and loudly judging dracula's life choices

sorry i cant come over today. it's the whole eagle pecking out my liver thing. tomorrows not good either. yeah it's the eagle again, im kind of booked up for a while actually

do they warn trans girls about boob sweat? girls did they warn you

you majored in math? uhh, i think i kinda know it all already. adding, subtracting, multiplying, dividing. it’s all up here. i even know about negative numbers.

one of my favorite genres of Little Kid Joke is when the child has clearly been told a joke & attempts to retell it without understanding the meaning of the joke, keeping the approximate framework but removing any clear punchline, somehow making it about 50x funnier

no come back ma’am

*under my breath* underwater girlfriend

underwater wife

Underwater love of my underwater life

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

Everyone keeps acting like as a druid I'm just boring and not as interesting or violent as wizards or warlocks but they'll all see when I finally perfect my new spell, Himalayan Blackberries Growing Inside Of Your Blood

EVIL

I'm turning your fingers into fertilizer and you're going to scream sooooo much about it

Consider: curse of every red blood cell becomes a dragonfruit instantaneously

conservation of mass sadly would not allow this :( however, i can very easily turn every one of your red blood cells into sap! i've just done this

Without violating conservation of mass, you could turn all of someone’s blood into roughly 14 dragonfruit!

now THAT'S the go-getter and inventive attitude that the Druidic Archcircle seeks out in its potential recruits! join us

A warning to my Romani friends reading Dracula Daily. Today's entry uses the G slur. And you will see many of the harmful stereotypes of the Romani and other traveler cultures in this chapter.

after reading the chapter, i'd like to add that the z slur (tzigani, written in the chapter as szgany, for those unaware) is also used. the g slur is used twice and the z slur is used three times. if you are romani and unsure as to whether you feel up to reading today's entry, please feel free to send me an ask for a summary (i have anon off but i will answer all asks pertaining to this privately, so if you're not out you don't need to worry about being outed). take care of yourselves and opre romani

This about the May 28th entry.

I can smell the fumes like it was yesterday...

good times, good times.