tell it with dragons

One way to get tasks done in the day is to make yourself a Chekhov's List. Put all of the things you have to do on a list, and now that they've been revealed they'll need to be completed by the afternoon (third act) and when you've completed something you can Chekov that task from the list

Work chapstick. Car chapstick. Nightstand chapstick. Bathroom chapstick. Jacket pocket chapstick.Bag chapstick. You have to be prepared.

Laundry chapstick :(

my cousin lorbish can photosynthesize

The leading theory as to why orcs are green is that it helps them hide in their natural habitat: amongst other orcs.

Not all construction work is equally enjoyable. For example, enlarging a drilled hole is boring, but fastening pieces of metal together is riveting.

this joke would get the exact same reaction in 1870 that it gets in 2021 and I love that about it

weirdest part of being an adult is the fact that you can put off watching a movie for nearly a decade and barely notice

is her name blair witch or is she just working on a witch project

its left ambiguous to be scarier

like she can write with both hands 😦

There's a labyrinth. In the middle of it, a minotaur is making waffles.

So when the Comte de Monte-Cristo goes on a manipulation and murder rampage, he’s just “le spectre d’un malheureux que vous avez enseveli dans les cachots du château d’If” and also a “babygirl”. But when I, Milady de Winter —

idk who needs to hear this but if you have been putting something off bc it doesn't need to be done until the end of the month. we are almost done with the teens we are approaching the big numbers (the twenties). that date shall dawn upon you swiftly and without mercy before you know it. psa for everyone except me i got plany off time

drinking water when I have a headache should give instant relief. it should go away. what's even the point of drinking water if it can't do that

I love the timeless appeal of dragons across cultures. What if a lizard were really big and could fly. Crowd goes wild.

The best

Glad he hasn’t been forgotten.

Reblog every time

Ain't my circus but I would know my monkeys anywhere.

no, spotify, i don't want to use ai to "turn my ideas into playlists". i already fucking do that with my brain and hands and i do it for fun. what, should i get ai to pet my cat for me? to play my silly games for me? to spend time with my beautiful wife for me? how about i rend you asunder