...hey, who arted?

blep

Unlike my first attempt at baking, years ago, these are NOTHING like chocolate bricks.

These are fudgy, chocolaty brown-butter brownies loaded with juicy strawberries.

Unlike my first attempt at baking, years ago, these are NOTHING like chocolate bricks.

These are fudgy, chocolaty brown-butter brownies loaded with juicy strawberries.

This cake (has a higher rise than any of my hopes and dreams) and is TALLER THAN MY HAND.

It’s three layers of brown-buttery vanilla cake with fluffy cream cheese frosting and fresh peach filling.

I now know why three-layer cakes are for special occasions only.

Reason one:

This beaut took four whole hours to bake, fill, and frost.

After four hours of running from oven to sink to stove, I now have overboiled lasagna noodles instead of feet.

Reason two:

After dinner: “Just a slice for dessert.”

In the morning: “Mmm, breakfast.” (With coffee. Or with tea.)

When I’m Just Hungry: “A THIN slice is practically a healthy snack. It’s got fruit in it.”

Reason three:

I now have four more flavor ideas, which means going through all of this again.

This cake (has a higher rise than any of my hopes and dreams) and is TALLER THAN MY HAND.

It’s three layers of brown-buttery vanilla cake with fluffy cream cheese frosting and fresh peach filling.

I now know why three-layer cakes are for special occasions only.

Reason one:

This beaut took four whole hours to bake, fill, and frost.

After four hours of running from oven to sink to stove, I now have overboiled lasagna noodles instead of feet.

Reason two:

After dinner: “Just a slice for dessert.”

In the morning: “Mmm, breakfast.” (With coffee. Or with tea.)

When I’m Just Hungry: “A THIN slice is practically a healthy snack. It’s got fruit in it.”

Reason three:

I now have four more flavor ideas, which means going through all of this again.

and other days i’m crippled by self criticism and hate everything and can’t bear to look at my own work because i know it’ll never compare to the greats

but i live for the days i love my work. because it’s mine, and i made it. i didn’t wait for somebody else to make what i dream about. i went and did it myself.

so don’t feel like your work is awful

it’s the stuff you dreamed about. it’s the stuff you decided to make a reality. it’s not about quality, or poetry, or how perfectly your sculpt your words or keep it so deeply in character; because it’s what you dreamed and it’s what you wanted to see, so you made it.

keep writing; it’s yours, and you made it. and if you want to continue to sharpen and improve yourself? then do it. it’s all yours and you can make it whatever you want.

Hey, are you an artist or writer with WIPs?

Those who feel like imposters, who think "I should want this, I need to want this, I need to do this, or else maybe I don't actually want to be an artist like I thought." Even without imposter syndrome, it's soul-crushing to be unable to start, sustain, or enjoy the hobbies that once fulfilled you.

I’m not trying to be like “ohoho look at me I’m such a good friend”, I’m saying the second I stopped going “I wish I had friends who would invite me to tea parties” and just. hosted the tea parties myself? I still got to do the thing. I still got to see my friends. I still got to be happy with them.

It’s a lot of energy, I get that. Especially if you’re putting in all this effort, but not getting any back.

But I think that’s the reason no one does it. I mean we’re so worried we’ll start doing all these things and our friends won’t like it or won’t be into it, so we just don’t.

Only last week my friend messaged me, asking if I wanted to go stargazing with her. When I forget about our weekly virtual tea party, another friend called me to ask if I wanted them to host it this week.

I’ve been invited on hikes and picnics and pie making competitions over zoom, and it all sort of started with me going out of my way to be “that friend”.

The Need to Stay