Endulging.

So, this is my blog. I love dragons and elves and space. This is where I post my obsessions. I do some photo edits, moodboards, and sometimes write fanfic when I'm in the mood. 18+ is advised, I get spicy and I swear like a sailor.

Kia in avowed is the same VA as Garrus and I have never been more excited in my life.

Also, I'm pregnant.

I did not expect this.

After months of neglecting finishing this game and doing my own thing and starting new game after new game... I finally decided to push through.

And I got wrecked.

I knew this ending was not going to be a good one. But I did not expect it to hit so close to home for me. For those of you who do not know, I had to make a very difficult decision two years ago to let my newborn son of two months pass. My mother had gone through a very similar situation when she was younger and had told me that after he died, I would have the best sleep of my life. And that I should NOT feel guilty for it.

She wasn't wrong. I couldn't believe it when I woke up the next morning. It was like I hadn't slept since the day he was born. And I had become someone completely different.

The universe has a funny way of playing tricks on you. And giving you exactly what you need. The last month I've been mourning the loss of my former self. Of acknowledging that I am not that person any longer. That I miss who I was but I cannot go back. And to give what I need to myself to move forward. To embrace this new person that I am.

And fuck me if I didn't accidentally run into the quest trying to just walk around Baldur's Gate. After I beat Orin I though "oh I'll just run around". Nope. Different plans.