Beast AtsuGin friendship AU
Dependency (2/2), a conversation
⚠️I am NOT an authority on mental health, nor is Atsushi, I'm simply the means in which BAGF!Atsushi expresses himself to all of you and Atsushi is a traumatized abused 12 year old in a toxic environment, neither of us know how to actually deal with dependency nor are familiar with its workings, so don't actually take this as a fact, it's just how BAGF!Atsushi would answer.⚠️
G: “Hey, do you have a particular opinion on obsessions?”
A: “Obsessions?” *Tilts his head* “Like what?”
G: “Y’know, when someone is so focused on someone else they can't move on in life.”
A: “You mean like, a dependency?”
G: *confused 12 yo noises*
A: “A dependency, the obsession you talk about. When one person is too reliant on another, that's basically what you are telling me about, right? Dependency is not exclusively a sad or traumatized person being too attached to someone, it can also be present in other ways.”
When Gin thinks about it, that's actually a very accurate way of putting it, her nii-san was too dependent on singular external factors to move forward.
A: “I'm not very familiar with obsessions or how they work, but when it comes to dependency in people I am not as lost anymore.” *thinks it over* “Many people mix both terms freely but looking at something with a “dependency” perspective over a strictly “obsession” one changes many things.”
A: “Consequences it brings to the person and people around them, ways it affects the relationship between both parties, ways to deal with it.”
G: “How are dependencies dealt with?”
A: “The most common way people deal with them is to gradually but firmly pull away, to guide the person as you make some needed healthy distance.”
G: “No… that, but what if that's not enough? What if you know they will not let go, know that you will have to forcefully rip them away from you, that it's either him or you?
A: “Him or- Why would it have to- … You, you do know it's never that clear cut, right?”
G: “How… how so? What- what are you talking about right now?”
A: “Dependencies. They're never that clear cut to deal with, even the messiest of dependencies to substances can be overcome with enough treatment and will to do it, why would a dependency to a person be different?”
G: “I… I- but how would- those are medical, treatment can't affect social relationships.”
A: “Medical treatments can't. But psychological ones also exist for a reason, there's more than one way of treating dependency.”
G: *Gets in his personal space* “So, there is a way to deal with it? I, hypothetically speaking, what ways are there, or way, literally any way.”
A: *Backs away* “Um… I'm… not, a psychologist, nor any other form of expert on the subject… I, don't really think I could give you a useful answer.”
G: “But, you said there's more than one treatment, what would be another?”
A: “... Well, I guess there is also the opinion you said, to pull away, just, less… extreme? And more controlled, definitely more controlled.”
G: “What would be more controlled?”
A: “Eeh, y’know… uh, ok, let me try to explain this with an analogy. Your hypothetical was a guy right? Well he doesn't physically need a wheelchair but still always uses it, to the point his legs grow so weak due to lack of use they can't fully handle his body weight. You can't just take the wheelchair and leave him with nothing else on a 50m radius, if you're gonna take the wheelchair away you have to make sure there's something he can use to lean on, furniture, for example. In this case the furniture would be, ideally, a support system of multiple people willing to keep him from falling and letting him lean on them as his legs grow strong enough to support himself.”
G: “So, he needs more people to get over his dependency.”
A: “It’s… not that easy, but more people in his life are very helpful. Dealing with dependency is never easy, if I were to use another analogy, dependency… let's say, grabs you with roots. Roots that grow tight around your arms, legs, torso, some you can disentangle but others you will have to cut a little to get them off of you, that will hurt the person, but it's necessary. Like how you have to cut the bad parts of a plant so it grows stronger.”
A: “At the end, the result you want to achieve is that the person is able to stand on their own. That, if the person is to be with the past target of their dependency, it's because both parties want it, not because the person feels that they need the other person. Both parties make the active choice to be with each other. If I explain myself well.”
G: “No no, I understood your idea.” “The active choice to be with each other, no needing the other. That, that sounds nice.”
A: “Yeah, of course it does, that's how healthy happy relationships are supposed to work!” *muttering* "at least from what I know..."
G: “You- god. Thanks. I- I, really appreciate you telling me all this. I had genuinely thought-” *sigh* *muttering* “If I explain your idea to Dazai-san then maybe…” “Anyway, thanks for entertaining my idea, got kinda caught up in the topic without meaning to.”
A: “I don't mind.” *sighs resigned* “Honestly, It's far from the weirdest thing I've been asked, I don't know if it's a mafia thing but some people can get really philosophical about certain topics, and for some reason, people look at me and decide I'm the ideal person to listen to their moral dilemmas. Is it because I'm young enough everyone assumes I'd not understand anyway?? It's not my fault I joined the mafia young enough my set of morals adapted without three different moral crises! And I can still understand regular morals thank you very much.”
This action will have consequences
