They sting. I got ouched by one a couple days ago. The vest is for your protection.
@phillipfancypants
todays bird
occasionally subtle
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Cookie Run:Kingdom Official!
NASA

shark vs the universe

izzy's playlists!
Color Me Curious
The Bowery Presents
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Monterey Bay Aquarium

PR's Tumblrdome

bliss lane
Keni
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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Today's Document

tannertan36
noise dept.
d e v o n
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@poinsciuri
They sting. I got ouched by one a couple days ago. The vest is for your protection.
@phillipfancypants

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if i got isekaied into the body of a housecat i wouldnt even care. like fuck yeah i just get to act cute and sleep all day for the next 10 to 15 years??? deal
we should all stop and thank quentin bed, who invented the bed in 1362, for inventing the bed
the ascians are soooo funny like yeah if the world ended and the only people left were my coworkers i might consider genociding all the new lifeforms too

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i'm a big fan of characters who have a facial scar or some other flaw but when the style their hair they part it in a way that covers the *other* half of their face
askimg my leather domme to put me in the sensory deprivation puppy mask because it helps my migraines
the cast time for a phoenix down is so funny actually. the wol is frantically digging through their pack for that stupid feather they KNOW is at the bottom somewhere
There's an open pit in the middle of our office plan that drops down into a bunch of very sharp spikes that kill you instantly. This is bad. People keep falling in there and dying. Someone put a sign up, the other day, all bright yellow so you can't miss it, that says "Beware!!! Spikes!!!"
The office immediately split into two factions over it. One says that if anyone falls in the spike pit it's their own fault for being so stupid and not watching where they're walking, so we should remove the sign. The other says that the sign is an insult, there shouldn't be a spike pit in our office at all, and having the sign up like that is just normalising the existence of the spike pit, so we should remove the sign.
We ended up removing the sign. Probably for the better. Still... for a while there it looked like it might have worked...
Nobody has ever been capable of writing a scathingly harsh and well formulated satire about the perils of modern capitalism, that doesn't just get immediately one-upped by some random food service worker talking about their actual week.

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they should invent a headache that goes away the second you drink any water at all
Hazel was FUCKING DONE
“Gimme the water-! Damn it. Gimme the WATER-! Damn it. Maybe if I use the other paw? Damn it. You know what, little box, fuck you!”
undoubtedly being able to fix common toilet problems with your wits and a plunger is a very useful life skill.
however. no one should ever have to do it at work unless their job description literally includes it
Body type: Godzilla
No sorry boss, I didn't get a call back number. She just said something about a dragon soul and hung up

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I was born with the dragon soul. you will not put me on hold
kind of harmonically beautiful