夢見てたのあたし

btw romance isn't real and you can't have it. just so you're aware

every time i think about the halla doors, loss of court approval being dependant on timers, i start seeing red

“shane was trying to prove to himself that he was straight by dating rose” “no, he knew he was queer, he was just trying to prove to himself that he liked women” folks i gotta be honest i don’t think shane was thinking about his sexual identity when he dated rose, i think he was trying to prove to himself that he was Normal. like i don’t think shane was thinking of himself in terms of gay vs bisexual or even attracted to men vs attracted to women, i think he was thinking of himself in terms of Mistake I’ve Been Making With Rozanov vs Normal Acceptable Expected Behavior I Need To Get Serious About Performing. like his actual desire and attraction is so divorced from his understanding of what he’s supposed to be doing as a masculine professional athlete that he doesn’t even consider whether he’s attracted to rose when he dates her, or rather he avoids considering it until she forces him to. In My Opinion.

Puppy play but the dog partner just puts on a vest with SERVICE ANIMAL printed on the back and sorts their partner's mail and does their taxes and then goes home

Do the duties change outside of tax season?

Yes they also make scary phone calls and order and put away groceries.

Robot play but the robot partner just makes roomba noises and cleans all the floors in the house while the other partner watches tv

Vampires where blood groups matter. Drinking off an incompatible blood group makes you extremely ill. Vampires can also feed from each other, and sometimes will as a bonding or dominance thing, so they have an organically evolved blood-group-based social caste system.

Wait wait wait does that mean if I become a vampire all the other vampires are going to feed on my O- vampire blood.

Yes

Wait so would O- be at the top or the bottom of the system?

Bottom. Everyone can eat them and they can eat no one but their own.

assigned bottom by derin

Post. Triple. Cancelled.

I wrote this btw and it was accidentally 18 chapters

kind of embarrasing when your life is actually going pretty well but you still have mental health problems. it's like when you drink water but still have a headache like what the hell. you're telling me this isn't because of the Situations i'm actually just like this. i want a refund.

I am genuinely so fucking stupid. I was reading this book where a bunch of people have to pass a logic puzzle in order to survive, and I was like "why are they all dying?? the answer is obviously the third goblet from the left!" yeah.....that was not the answer. I would've died in this book, and I would've been SO publicly smug before I did. like giving people the finger, smirking, etc. this sucks.

Trying to sleep during a heatwave is a great reminder that all oil executives need to die painful painful deaths

only time i will endorse putting hypermodern memes/slang/references into historical adaptation stuff is with shakespeare. so many of his jokes are his contemporary equivalent of that anyway. he would have loved secret third thing. he would have loved counting or not counting gang violence