Getting ready for Artfight early with a refsheet for Amaris! He's been in my head every day for three months and he's not leaving. My darling guy I made up...
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making an extra post because the tags aren't good enough
here is all the reasons why you should use comicfury (if you aren't already) :
pretty much full control over your custom site design. if you're an HTML/CSS nerd you can go as crazy as you want with it. but for those who aren't so code-savvy, there are also simplified built-in design tools so you can create a unique site for yourself and your work. reject homogeneous minimalism design of bigger platforms, embrace tradition of mid-2000's kitchen sink site design (if that's what you want, that is).
the site demonstrates its own philosophies through its extremely charming vintage 2000's-era site design. it ain't broke so it doesn't need fixing. if it's too 'ugly' for you and wards you off from using the site, then it's succeeding at what it was designed to do.
forums! remember those??? CF sure does!
full view of your comic statistics over the past month, shown as delicious daily line graphs, separated by unique visitors, web page view, and scroll view.
hosting is free. don't want that pesky 'thecomicseries' or 'comicfury' add-on? all you gotta do is purchase your own domain name. contact kyo and they'll take care of the rest.
you can categorize your pages per chapter, making for an easier reading experience
you can include page transcripts for screen-readers as well as mouseover text
you can enable comments per upload and even manage them so that all comments have to be approved by you before they're shared publicly
archive tagging!!! i.e. you can tag uploads with relevant characters / locations / etc. so people can find specific pages easier on your site.
you can run a goddang BLOG on your comic site so that people can read what you've been up to! or don't, it's your choice!
clear filters for NSFW content. the filters do what they must to inform your audience as intended, outside of that, your comic will not be taken down, flagged, or suppressed in search results just because it contains violence or boobies.
they are strictly anti-AI
they do not make licensing deals with third-party companies, so the only 'competition' you have are other indie creators like you, no Marvel or DC nonsense
you're free to embed ads and/or donation buttons on your site and CF will not take off a single cent of it for themselves.
the front page goes to Recently Updated by default, all the other tabs are simply Popular Now and Popular Overall. there's also a Random button if you want to be surprised with something new. while this might seem like a bad thing for people who prefer custom filtering, this unbiased layout prevents the common visibility issues / favoritism / etc. that happen on other platforms.
but if you DO want to find something new that fits your specific tastes? just use their search bar, unlike on Webtoons it actually does what search bars are supposed to do! within the search page you can pick and choose whatever genre tags you want, and you can filter out major NSFW flags you're not comfortable with seeing.
saving the best for last: none of those features outlined above require paying a premium subscription tier. you have access to ALL the same tools and permissions that everyone else does. you have just as much potential to gain an audience there as everyone else and you are all granted the same freedoms.
COMICFURY HAS A SCROLL VIEW SETTING THAT YOU CAN ADJUST IN YOUR SETTINGS. THE PLATFORM IS ALREADY DESIGNED TO BE CONSUMABLE ON YOUR PHONE. IT DOESN'T NEED AN APP.
ugh man i'm so sorry for popping off on this very innocent and well-meaning bystander but what did i JUST say
when i say it's a webcomic platform that knows it's a webcomic platform
that's it. no asterisk. that's the POINT OF THE MEME.
it is a website for reading and hosting webcomics. there is no app. and that is why it works.
i realize this might just be a consequence of me being Old™️ compared to the average webcomic consumer / artist, but do y'all know how destructive phone apps have been and still are to webcomic culture? because not only is developing a phone app EXPENSIVE AND TIME-CONSUMING, but it's pretty much impossible to have phone apps now that aren't managed and funnelled through Google and Apple.
that means CENSORSHIP. and CORPORATE INTERFERENCE. and FINANCIAL INVOLVEMENT. which is entirely opposing to WHAT WEBCOMICS ARE.
as soon as indie sites based around free content develop apps, there's a very clear shift in how that site continues to operate, prioritizing corporate standards and profit over usability and community. because otherwise, they can't justify the creation of the app in the first place, and they can't very well maintain that app on account of how expensive it is to do so.
in fact, i can even attest to this from experience! y'know Tapas? the friendly competitor to Webtoons?
this platform used to FUCKING SLAP and then guess what? they released their phone app. and in doing so, they immediately lost the entire fucking plot. their ad revenue program turned to shit, they started prioritizing their advertising and growth towards paywalled comics over the free to read ones, they started restricting the content that was allowed on the platform for the sake of 'brand friendliness' and most of all, they started caring more about what INVESTORS saw rather than what the average user experienced.
and i'm sure that's a heavily biased opinion in which i'm choosing to cast blame on one specific thing instead of all the various things that led to the downfall of this fuckass platform (and i could talk about all those things at length too) but guess what? i don't give a fuck if it IS biased, because i've been there and back and lived to tell the tale and the common denominator in the enshittification of all these major platforms i'm goddamn MEME'ING ON was the phone apps. and most of all, the normalization of corporate involvement which happens the MOMENT you build an app for the Google and/or Apple store.
modern phone apps are NOT about accessibility, they're about money and metrics. that's it.
again, big apologies to the person who left these tags in the reblogs because i know they didn't mean any ill will of it.
but EVERY FUCKING DAY i see y'all complaining that webtoons and tapas are garbage, that they don't let you consume NSFW content without censoring the fuck out of it or removing titles entirely from their platforms, how they progressively tighten paywalls and increase ads to force every last cent out of you, but never ONCE do y'all realize THE CALLS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE.
comicfury doesn't have or need a phone app for the same reason that AO3 doesn't have or need a phone app. to put it simply - because it's pointless, a waste of money and effort, and it would just destroy everything that's great about the thing that i'm trying to promote to you in the first place.
this is what usage freedom and decentralizing actually looks like. this is what has kept comicfury populated and alive. nothing more, nothing less.
When you get more objective about the way nature is & away from weird anthropomorphic carnivore slander it is a little funny when the baby sea turtles hatch and every other animal in like a ten mile radius goes "oh fuck yum one million mini sliders"
[ID: a screenshot of the original post's tags that read, "#real turtleheads know this is a play on sliders (turtle emoji) which are a type of terrestrial turtle. but it's also tiny hamburgers #which seems apt. #this has been another episode of Joke Explainer" /end ID]
Keeping these actually. Necessary footnote for this post
Watching a jaguar casually walk up to an adult sea turtle headed back to the water after laying her eggs and eat it like why am I in my sea turtle violence era and why are they like this. Adult sea turtles aren't especially easy to eat in the water they'll swim around with shark bites taken out of them like they're just chillin. And then on land they just kinda
Also today I learned that since the jaguar scares off other smaller predators it's actually good for the sea turtle population if there are jaguars there. Cause less babies get eaten by Everything Else. I'm gonna be honest I didn't even consider that a jaguar could be on the beach
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see this is exactly what I'm talking about. this labour is so incredibly invisibilised that there are real human beings, walking about amongst us, leading normal lives, etc., who earnestly believe that machines can make an item of clothing from start to finish.
Hey just in case someone on here doesn’t quite understand how labor intensive making a garment is, here is a list of things that (to the best of my knowledge) cannot be done by machine alone, from a costumer/tailor in training
Cutting - in my opinion, the most labor intensive part of the process. The amount of time/effort needed varies depending on the pattern and if seam allowance is included or marked separately, but no matter what this process can not be done by machine. Each and every panel and piece of fabric that goes into a garment must be cut by hand by a person.
Pinning/clipping - pinning (or clipping) is the stage at which you align the pieces you are going to be stitching together and hold them together with — you guessed it! — either pins or clips. This can not be done by machine.
Stitching - the actual sewing. This can be done by a sewing machine, but that machine still needs to be operated by a human being.
Ironing/pressing - two words that mean the same thing. The iron itself is a machine, but once again, it needs to be operated by a human being.
Finishing - depending on the technique you use, there are certain finishing techniques that can only be done by hand. But, let’s assume we’re talking about fast fashion, which is usually just finished with a simple overlock/serger. Once again: these machines need to be operated by people.
These are just the basic steps to making a garment, and don’t include textile arts that I am not as knowledgeable about, such as weaving, knitting, and crochet. Also, it is important to note that there are a lot of things that can only be done by hand, such as certain stitches and decorative techniques.
Also, the machinery being operated in textile factories is not equivalent to a domestic sewing machine. We’re talking about one of these guys:
See that gray cylinder under the table, behind the knee pedal? That’s the motor. These machines can sew through your fingers bones and all and not even stop. The people in these factories and sweatshops are operating heavy machinery, and are subject to all the risk that comes with that in addition to all of the work I mentioned above.
Please respect textile workers and continue the fight to eliminate the use of sweatshops and exploited labor in the fashion industry!
Reblogging with some additions from a different post o'mine:
" I'm taking a sewing class and I asked my teacher about how much machines can actually do. She said that while a lot of actual fabric we use in our projects is machine-woven, and sometimes there are machines for particular knitting patterns or for the same small thing over and over and over (i.e. socks), the overwhelming majority of pieces of clothing are in fact just sewn together by humans. Usually women. Underpaid and overlooked. Thousands and thousands of them, working 12 hours a day or more in huge warehouse-factories. You're probably wearing something one of those women created right now.
Most of the students (including me) were horrified. We had *no* idea. We figured that, given that we have supercomputers and massive industrial systems for almost every type of product you can buy, surely we would have figured out a better way? Surely there are machines that can put a t-shirt together by now?
She said, no, that's why fast fashion is really so bad. It's not simply about the quality of the product, it's about the human cost.
When you buy a cheap tee that says "Made in Bangladesh", this is where your clothing came from (and these are from one of the nicer factories):
(By Fahad Faisal. CC BY-SA 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=89582692)
Don't want to believe it? I understand. Here is the wikipedia page, you can read it in your own time https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Textile_industry_in_Bangladesh#Readymade_garment_(RMG)_industry
This isn't just true of clothes either. There's an astonishing amount of human labor behind most of our products. Even the steps that are automated are only possible because humans are constantly cleaning, maintaining, repairing, adjusting and fine tuning the machines.
I've noticed that the media that educates us often edits that out on purpose. In 'how its made' type videos, steps humans do by hand are often skipped because they don't make as smooth a video as watching machines do the parts of the production process that can be automated.
When I say "godspeed" (I say it a lot) I like to imagine I'm a member of a futurism religion that worships velocity above all else. Like its the standard well-wishing in my culture. Speedliness is next to godliness. Someday we'll catch him! And the closer we get the more he loves us
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Hi, your post on the dopamine load beforehand/reverse pomodoro has been super helpful, thank you so much! I've not seen this approach on executive dysfunction before, it's genuinely groundbreaking. I was wondering if you have other strategies or resources on it to share?
I'm really glad that post was helpful! To be clear, I'm not a psychologist or anything, just a person who a) has executive dysfunction, and b) works all the time with college students who have executive dysfunction. Also, c) I'm a writing teacher, and writing is a thing about which people tend to get a lot of executive dysfunction. BUT I'm happy to share what I do know! I don't think any of this is groundbreaking, really, but if it's helpful, that's wonderful. These tips and techniques are tailored to overcoming executive dysfunction with regard to writing, but you can use them for lots of stuff. I get executive dysfunction sometimes about getting up to eat or pee, never mind Doing Big Project At Work, so I definitely know how it can eat whole sections of your life. Here are some suggestions:
Reverse pomodoro, as I described in my earlier post. Fill up your energy/motivation tank with an active, engaging activity, then do your task for five minutes. The ratio is "lots of fun thing to a little bit of task." See the link for more explanation and examples!
Schedule a buddy. The key is to do this before you start feeling bad about your project. This requires some self-knowledge: I'm feeling good right now, but I know that I might get stuck in the future. You can try to schedule a productivity buddy when you feel stuck and motionless, but then it's just another task to have executive dysfunction about. Set up a regular weekly appointment time with a friend or friends (in person or online). This is like "if you can't make your own executive function, borrowing from a friend is fine." The amazing thing is that three people with zero executive function can pool together and suddenly have one (1) executive function between them. It's magic. You get together, you start by discussing what you want to work on, then you spend ~10-20 minutes all working quietly. Then you pause and talk about what you've done in that time, what's frustrating you, etc., and you talk each other through it and give each other encouragement. Then you do another little sprint, then you talk about it, sprint, talk about it, until your time is up. The cool thing about this is that it helps you practice feeling accomplishment for doing small amounts of task. If you wrote one sentence during that twenty minute sprint, that's still something, and your friends can praise and encourage you. Not having to wait for the praise-reward you get at the end of the task can be really helpful. This is also why people recommend the "have a little chocolate every time you finish a paragraph" kind of thing, microdosing your reward system, but praise and encouragement from friends is more lasting and impactful than the little chocolate. That is not to say that I never use the little chocolate system myself.
Secret body doubling. Regular body doubling is intentional, like in (2) above. But you can do body doubling like a weird secret creepster too! When people around you move or change tasks, use their momentum to help you change tasks, too. Your roommate gets up to go to the bathroom? Watch their motion and mirror it: that's the moment when you might be able to get up and get that glass of water you've been craving. Your child gets on the bus to school at 8am? While you're standing up to watch them get on the bus, take advantage of that momentum to flow into doing the dishes. If you're able to get yourself to the library, a coffee shop, or another place where lots of people will be working or moving, that can be very helpful. When I try to work at a coffee shop, I sometimes will still be unable to do the task I want to do. So I people watch a bit, and when the person at the next table gets up for a new drink, or puts away their laptop, or picks up their book, when there's some kind of physical change around you, use that momentum as a physical cue for you to switch tasks as well.
Change modes. So if writing is a thing that overwhelms you, try drawing about the thing you want to write, or try talking it through with a friend, or try recording yourself talking it over (then you can listen and transcribe your ideas, or use speech to text. Doing your own transcription is better, though.). Sometimes even something as small as changing the font in your word processor to comic sans in rainbow colours can make you feel like you're no longer trying to do the thing you've labelled Too Hard in your brain. Switching to handwriting can accomplish this shift too. Make the task not look like the task anymore, essentially. Find activities that you use less often for this task—singing, talking, drawing, dancing, collage, making fun of it to a friend—and access the task via those modes. To give a non-writing example, if your task is practicing your oboe, obviously the only way to do that is to pick up the oboe and start playing. But if picking up the oboe is the thing you can't face, try approaching that task laterally. Freewrite about how the oboe feels in your hands. Describe what playing the oboe feels like to a friend. Sing the song you're supposed to be practicing. Do fingering exercises without the oboe in your hands. You can chip away at the overwhelm this way. Another example is emails: if I have an email that's been hanging over my head that I really should answer, sometimes I change modes and go find the person I need to email in person instead. Or I call them on the phone. Talking to a real person instead of the Email Void is very motivating and energizing for me, whereas sitting at my desk alone is not.
Remove barriers to the task. A good example here is the difference between feeling like you need to write something good and impressive and feeling like you need to just write down words. So if the Big Writing Task is daunting, try freewriting in the most casual, homey language you can access. (Just in general, writing in your natural voice, accent, and dialect is incredibly important—it makes the task easier and usually makes your writing better.) Freewriting is a legitimate technique on its own, where you simply try to write without stopping and without caring what you're saying. Some of my most frustrated freewrites have started with I HATE THIS TASK AND I DON'T WANT TO DO IT AND HERE'S WHY and then gradually as I write I start generating actual ideas, or at least feeling less frustrated. But barriers come in all forms. I have to do all the dishes and clean the entire kitchen. Okay, let's remove that barrier. What if you just cleaned one countertop? I have to study this entire textbook for the test. Okay, if that's not possible, what about just studying the one chapter you were the most confused by? What about committing to looking at the pictures in the textbook without reading anything?
Do the tiniest, most low-effort part of the task first. This is related to (5). When I say tiniest, I mean it. For writing, the tiniest part of the task might be today I am going to open my word document. Not write anything, just literally open the doc. For strength training, the tiniest part of the task might be I am going to move my weights from the closet to the area near my bed so that they're easier for me to access tomorrow. For household cleaning, the tiniest part of the task might be I am going to empty the vacuum so that it's easier to start vacuuming another day. Sometimes very small barriers like these pile up in our heads. Chipping away at the preparation for the task can make the task way more approachable, even if the chipping away only takes two minutes. This is also about recognizing that you might not be able to do the task today, but that you can give yourself a better chance of doing it tomorrow. It's amazing how much better I feel about myself and how much less depressed and anxious I feel when I've done some five minute thing that isn't even the task, but is related to the task. It makes me feel like I'm not ignoring or being overwhelmed by the task anymore. These little things keep your mind engaged with the idea of the task, so that it doesn't become an enormous monster in your mind. In writing, I VERY strongly recommend rereading as a tool for this. If you can't face writing, researching, or editing, just open your document with your existing notes or whatever and reread. Rereading your writing project once a day is much, much better than not interacting with it at all, even if you don't add any new words. It keeps the task in your mind, so your mind can keep thinking about it in the background.
Annotation. This one is very writing-focused, but the theory is basically: if your thoughts or ideas are absent or disorganized, borrow someone else's. So if you're writing an essay, start by reading your research and writing notes in the margins (I think printing stuff out and literally annotating by hand is very valuable here, but there are a million programs you can use for annotation if you'd rather do it digitally). If you're not experienced with this, start by using punctuation and emoticons in the margins - ??? or !!! or . . . or :D or >:( next to the words you're reading. Work your way up to asking questions, drawing arrows to connect concepts, articulating your confusion, or explaining your disagreement. Those annotations can then become notes in your own document. This can work for other tasks as well. For example, if what you're trying to do is draw something, rather than looking at a blank page, go look at drawings by people whose art you love, and write down what you like about it. Print out your favourite drawings and doodle in the margins, replicating or changing the art style. Or write in the margins about what you like/don't like, or expand on someone else's drawing with your own art.
Don't use LLMs. All of these techniques are designed to build skills like focus, confidence, creativity, and critical thought. It may seem like asking an LLM for a summary of something will help to reduce the barrier you're feeling, or like getting an LLM to make you an outline will make your writing easier. But the increasing scientific consensus is that using LLMs for writing/reading tasks, even "small" ones, actively reduces your cognitive skills, disengages you from the project at hand, and reduces the rewards you feel for finishing. You'll lose what you already have, you'll feel more alienated from your work, and it'll only get harder next time. No LLM can substitute for the actual secret sauce here, which is other people to talk with. So, the last and most important tip:
Ask for help!!! Executive dysfunction is a really rough feeling, and it's hard to swim out of it when it feels like you're drowning. Therapy can help sometimes, medication can help sometimes, and friends and family can help sometimes. Other people are one of the most important resources. Professionals are great (like therapists, tutors, or coaches) but literally any human person who is not a jerk can help you. Invite them over to keep you company while you clean. Talk through your idea with them. For creative projects, the best is actually to talk through your idea with them and take notes yourself while also asking them to take notes to give to you. Often executive dysfunction makes me feel isolated, like I'm stuck but also unable to talk about how I'm stuck. Just talking about that feeling helps with the feeling. Getting unstuck sometimes also means becoming less isolated. Other people care about you and if you ask them, they will help you. I swear.
Lastly, to be specific about my job for a second: all the things above involving other people? Co-productivity, body doubling, taking notes together, talking things through? If you are actually a student in college, these are things your professors are likely willing to do with you. I body double with my students all the time, where I grade while they write or research. Sometimes I do it with students who are working on stuff that isn't even for my class. Professors' office hours are intended for this purpose. Your professor is there for you as a resource. Of course some professors fucking suck, but usually you can tell which professors will be kind and helpful. Ask for help ask for help ask for help.
And if you're not a student in college—hey, I'm middle aged and I still deal with this shit. But I'm so, so much better at dealing with it now than I was twenty years ago. These are skills you can practice and get better at, no matter what your age is. There's always time to learn how to feel better.
I always think of the description I saw years ago: Self-imposed deadlines don't help me, because I know the person who set them, and they're full of shit.
Give yourself the treat before you start. I'm serious. And ideally during the task and afterwards too.
Executive dysfunction comes from a lack of available dopamine. Common advice is wrong. You need to provide your own dopamine before you can start. Otherwise you're trying to run your car on empty.
"But what if I still don't do it" well you already weren't getting it done anyway. Now you have a little treat. Try again later.
You deserve kindness and care even when you aren't being productive.
(Also read How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis)
I give my students a LOT of techniques for starting writing when it feels overwhelming or daunting, but one of them is exactly this: dopamine load BEFOREHAND. It may sound weird to people on tumblr dot com, but a lot of people seriously struggle with executive dysfunction when it comes to writing literally anything, to the extent that it can cause such symptoms as panic, depression, and AI chatbot use.
I usually suggest this technique as a "Reverse Pomodoro." In the original Pomodoro, you work for 25 minutes and then take a break for 5 minutes (the times vary, but that's the essential ratio). People with executive dysfunction often find this insurmountable, and they get even more frustrated, and then the task seems even more difficult. So instead, flip those times.
FIRST, spend 25 minutes doing something energizing and engaging that you like to do. Not scrolling social media passively, not watching tv, not napping. Try something like colouring, doing yoga, running/walking around the block, talking about your favourite tv show with someone in real time, playing with the dog or cat, making and eating a lovely sandwich, hula hooping, something active. Having a little treat absolutely falls in this category!
(on the subject of little treats: refusing yourself food until you do work is for fucking Puritans and you can be kinder to yourself)
Then, after 25 minutes (or however long it takes to eat the sandwich or finish the yoga routine, it doesn't have to be exact), spend 5 minutes writing (or doing whatever you're struggling to start). Most people can coax themselves into doing something they find difficult for five minutes, if they have already filled up the joy/energy/engagement bucket. You can put a timer on for the 5 minutes if you want, or if you find that annoying, just work for as long as you like.
The other key is: don't push yourself to keep going when you're frustrated or tired—that will just reinforce the negative belief that you already have, which tells you that this task is painful to do, and needs to be avoided. If you've commonly had to force yourself to do this kind of task, that's likely part of why you think of it as painful and have trouble starting it now. Also, you should just, at a basic level, try not to put yourself in pain for the sake of productivity. So just do it till the good feelings run out. Then start hula hooping or colouring again for another 25 minutes. When the tank's refilled, try another 5 minutes of work, if you can. Adjust times to taste.
Not every technique works for everyone, but I've seen this one work for many students who are genuinely and seriously disabled by executive dysfunction. And many people find themselves getting more and more excited and engaged in the "difficult" task—because the good feelings from the hula hooping carry over, and because they're suddenly able to do the task without feeling pain, and feel accomplishment without feeling pain.
Hey people who have several pets, with obvious differences in intelligence levels: How did you figure out that one of them is smarter than the other? What do they do?
There are a lot of things that lead me to think my elder cat is unusually intelligent compared to other felis domesticus I have known (understands pointing, can open every door and cabinet in the house except the ones with round knobs or that I added child locks to, understands enough English to know from a phone conversation that a stranger is coming to the house) but in terms of specifically comparing one to the other, there was The Case Of The Mousey Puzzle Box.
When we got our younger cat Skadi, her favorite toy was (still is, but she's calmed down with age) the rattley mouse. She would bring the mouse to be thrown for fetch so many times that not even two human adults in the house could keep up with her. So my partner started making puzzle boxes to put the rattley mouse in that would occupy her for longer.
So, we have a setup: mouse is in the puzzle box, puzzle box is on the floor, younger cat is trying to resolve the puzzle box, elder cat is sitting on the cat tree observing all this. Skadi spends about fifteen minutes trying and failing to get the mouse out of the box. She sticks her paw into the holes. She sticks her nose into the holes. She pushes the box to and fro on the carpet. She meows beseechingly for a human to come solve the problem. Sticks her paws into the holes again.
Finally, she gives up on the puzzle box and wanders over to see if there's any food to be had. As soon as she walks away the elder cat gets up from the cat tree, big stretch, jumps down, walks over to the puzzle box, hooks a paw under the edge and flips the whole thing over, spilling the mouse onto the floor.
Gives the younger cat a look of utter disgust as if to say "That's all you had to do!" and then walks away, utterly uninterested in actually playing with the toy.
just watched a star trek episode about a planet that relied so heavily on it's computer system that they all forgot the basics of their own knowledge. and that allowed them to miss the fact that they were being posioned with radiation and nearly ending their civilization. because they couldn't use their own knowledge to figure things out. i bring this up for no reason in particular
The entire point of, OK, my phone really wants to call it Anastasia so I guess we’re doing that? The entire point of Anastasia (as administered by a board-certified Anastasiologist) during sugary. Sugary? Haven’t I suffered enough? The entire point of Anastasia during augury. Jesus Christ. Hold up. You know what, augury is preferable to sugary. Augury is obviously performed by an auger (makes sense if you give it a think) whereas sugary is performed by…? A sugardaddy? NO THANK YOU. Anyway. The entire point of Anastasia is so that you don’t know what music your sturgeon. Fuck right off. Was playing. While you were under. You’re not supposed to wake up from Anastasia and immediately realize you managed to get earwormed by Motörhead’s “Ace of Spades” during your sugary.
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99% of "mysterious disappearances" esp of people in their 20s who start acting weird for 48 hours and then vanish are not mysterious, thats just when a lot of reality-obliterating mental illness tends to kick in and it's pretty easy to get a short circuit in your brain that makes you go family guy death pose in joshua tree national park. it's not any less tragic, it's just a documented phenomenon and not particularly predictable. its a big reason the medical advice is for people with a family history of schizophrenia to completely avoid weed and psychedelics. "people just go crazy sometimes" is a principle of human health that used to be a lot more accepted prior to the american midcentury and to a certain extent thats a healthier way to conceptualize and prepare for the risk, as opposed to the modern assertion that anyone acting weird is dangerous and broken forever.
you should have a rough outline of a plan for if any of your loved ones experiences psychosis, it really does happen a lot. UTIs can cause psychosis. taking drugs, even safe drugs, or prescription drugs, can cause psychosis. i was once prescribed a heavy regimen of vitamin D because i was deficient, but the doctor never told me to stop taking it, so i moved to california, stopped being deficient, and developed vitamin d toxicity with downstream hyperparathyroidism which triggered significant hypomania that was undetected and uncontrolled for yeeeeeeears. i just slowly got Weird and started making impulsive decisions based on slightly out-of-gamut beliefs. i drove cross country by myself to have a love affair. the love affair was real, the series of decisions leading to burning down my life in pursuit of it were based on not great brain function however. etc. you see what i mean. churchill mentioned depression being the "black dog who stalks us" (one reason for Churchgrim's multi-referential name) but theres another, stealthier dog called Insanity and it's closer to some people than others but man it sneaks up on you. every time i see one of those "guy gets weird and drives into the wilderness forever" missing persons stories i think "yeah i could totally pull that off"
"van gogh cut off his ear what a lunatic" you are 3 nights of bad sleep, getting unexpected upsetting news and taking a substance as benign as coffee at the wrong time away from doing the same hope this helps
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