夢見てたのあたし

Right as I wake up there’s a nurse there who hustles over and says he’s glad he saw me wake up and tells me he’s giving me some pain meds and then he gives me IV Fentanyl and so I go from like “Ow ow ow ow awake awake awake” to “ooooooh fuck I’m floating on clouds made of rainbows” in like 6 seconds and so I was pretty out of it. The hospital had all the recently-post op patients all in one big-ass room, and they see patients for ALL sorts of surgeries, so I was next to an old guy who got his knee replaced on one side and some young 30-something dude with some kind of mechanism on his leg. So I asked him what happened since I was high as fuck and feeling kind as a result, and he said he broke his leg hiking off-trail when his leg went down a literal rabbit hole and snapped his shinbone. I say something like “damn dude that blowssssss” while giggling because I’m high as FUCK on actual fentanyl and he’s like “Yeah, for real, I’m feeling great right now though! What about you? What are you in here for?”

And I fully was not thinking like a person, I was thinking like a fentanyl-addled tgirl so I just go “Oh, haha, they cut my dick off!”

Mixed results from the Americans because this shit is legal in only 30 states and almost impossible to get past a zoning committee so while they exist, they're extremely localized. Lots of yelling at Ohio.

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Saskatchewan: "What's insane to me is that you have these with the population density you have. What am I going to hit in Turtleford?"

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Bahia and Sao Paulo: "I'm stunned we don't have these tbh."

Prague: "We have these in my city, but only for boats."

Manaus: "My uncle has one of these! He also has a window on the other side so you can drive your boat up too :)"

(much Brazilian and Czech high-fiving)

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Brisbane: "There's an astonishing level of trust being displayed that people aren't just going to open a beer immediately"

Tallahassee: "Oh no, there is 100% cop camped like half a mile down the road to arrest people who didn't stow the booze correctly."

Brisbane: "Oh it's an invasive policing operation! Yeah, that's the USA."

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Newcastle: "No, this looks correct for the country that has bears breaking into your house". (The Australians and Africans have a bit where every time someone mentions their wildlife, they mass @me (who had a bear in my house) and the guy from Singapore whose mom adopted a wild water monitor and says it's her favorite son now)

The aforementioned Singaporean: "How am I exposed to an onslaught of your media and culture at all times and you STILL find new ways to horrify me?"

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Vatican City: "You can ride your bike through the brewery to get beer but the abbot in charge doesn't like it"

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Jakarta: "We don't have this because we're Muslim but we do have drive-thru Marijuana"

Kyoto: "We don't have these because we have public transportation. You can buy liquor from vending machines at the stations though."

Munich: "We don't have these because we are disciplined enough to pack our beer with us if we are going somewhere that drinking is acceptable, or there will be beer at that location when we arrive."

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India: "Why have drive-thru Liquor, when you can have liquor delivered to your vehicle? GET ON OUR LEVEL" (no less than nine different images from across the country of people in trucks that have been specifically modified to operate the business of driving up to other vehicles in traffic and selling them liquor)

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Pudasjävi: "...I should open one of these."

Everyone: "NO!!!"

You might know him from a thread where he was getting wowed by free appetisers in a Mexican restaurant.

Firstly: He is doing a bit pretending to be a wandering samurai. It's a joke and his posts are all made up. This is very obvious if you actually look at his account and website:

He does purport to be Japanese but based on some of the other content he posts there's reason to believe he's British.

Which brings me to my second point: his Samurai content is interspersed with posts like this:

And this: