Let me be your cwtsh

Post apocalyptic nobleman who, in an attempt to sound more like the ancients, refers to his subjects as 'chat' and his guards as 'mods'

It should be illegal to have a bus stop without a bench I am 1000% serious rn

no bc as a disabled person if a bus stop doesn't have a bench i either sit on the ground or i pass out. seating is so fucking important

Thank the Lord someone understands

ALL I WANNA DO IS *musket shot* *minutes-long period of silence interspersed with the sounds of a lead ball rolling down the barrel, fiddling with a cartridge, pouring powder, and locking the mechanism in place* *musket shot* *minutes-long period of silence interspersed with the sounds of a lead ball rolling down the barrel, fiddling with a cartridge, pouring powder, and locking the mechanism in place* *musket shot* *minutes-long period of silence interspersed with the sounds of a lead ball rolling down the barrel, fiddling with a cartridge, pouring powder, and locking the mechanism in place* AND *sound of a small coin purse being bluntly dropped onto a wooden countertop* AND TAKE YOUR MONEY

And is this train due in 0 minutes in the station with us right now?

osha compliant blowjob

Autistic people are like, “yeah I love following rules” and then proceed to rip apart the gender binary

I love following good rules. bad rules keep me from following better ones so I put them through a meat grinder and see what happens

The official rules suck, I have written my own.

That’s not a contradiction at all. “I love following rules” means “I love having clear instructions instead of them being implied”. It doesn’t mean “I love obeying authority” or “I love conforming”.

Bumbled bees

What a beautiful octopus.

eating buttered bread with honey and some cheese like a medieval peasant . this shit is sublime

where did society go wrong . why cant i just eat slices of meat with bread and cheese and butter and honey and fruits . why do i have to nuke something in the microwave

fucking post cancelled i just remembered chuck cutlery boards exist

dear god we boogified scharcookie boards

bougeie-fied

nobody fucking look at me

I feel cheated. no one on Reddit told me that tumblr is a serotonin factory. Keep liking and reblogging my posts please thanks

Just don't fly too close to the sun.

Throw me to the sun and I’ll get it pregnant

Fellas (gender neutral), you heard him. Ready the catapults.