Sleeping on the dining chair as everyone else gets ready for bed.
occasionally subtle
YOU ARE THE REASON
d e v o n
almost home
trying on a metaphor

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@april-december
Sleeping on the dining chair as everyone else gets ready for bed.

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c'mon mira, don't you wanna go for a sunset joyride by the ocean? aka more cozy polytrix visions set sometime in the wolfish behavior future, and an opportunity try painting a more detailed background
[past] auditions
The world is a strange place. Stay silent too long and it folds around you, dimming you like a candle swallowed by fog, letting your traces sink beneath layers of dust that no one remembers. You try to speak, because something inside you insists on being heard, yet the world shies away from voices that echo too brightly, too honestly, too close to whatever a soul truly is.
So you shape masks out of quiet nights and borrowed smiles, each one fitting just enough to pass, each one soft enough not to disturb anything. You learn to mute your joy, your strangeness, your colors.
You learn to mute yourself.
Pieces of you fall away like petals in slow motion, just so you can keep moving.
And somewhere along the way, your soul grows quiet, so quiet you almost forget the sound it used to make.

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"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s
You have became this medieval role, how do you feel about it
you are in the medieval era and you have this role!
How do you feel?
great!! I love this
good!
It's okay
So bad. I hate this
This is similar to my real job!
Results/other
tired: zoey makes powerpoints about turtles & other creatures & her girls sit down & watch lovingly
wired: rumi & mira fight (not metaphorically. bloodily) over who gets to make the turtle powerpoint for this weeks powerpoint session & they get sooooo smug about winning. insufferable
inspired: celine PowerPoint edition where she sits her daughters in law down & takes them through baby rumi photos & experiences
celine: here is Rumi teething feat. Photo of a chair leg gnawed to shit
mira: lmaoooo lemme put my leg up there real quick zoey take a pic ! rumi got a TYPE
rumi & celine: politely do not make eye contact
celine: anyway. this is king teddy—
zoey: DOTH MINE EYES DECEIVE ME? A BABE? A BABE CRADLED IN MINE LOVERS ARMS? HE HATH THE BEARING OF A NOBLE AND THE LINEAMENT OF MY LOVE! HIS IS A FORM THAT DEMANDS RICHES BESTOWED UPON HIM, AFFECTION, FROM SUN RISE TO SET. DOES HE YET LIVE? WHEREFORE HAST THOU KEPT HIM FROM ME?
mira: probably that’s why?
zoey: true true true. Is he here can I behold him
rumi: yeah lol but if u touch him i’ll die
celine: THATS NOT FUNNY YET
celine wakes up to a message from Zoey at like. 3am like: wait. did rumi have demon teeth or…
celine: No. She was simply dedicated.
zoey: lmao yeah that’s rumi . cool 👍 which of the flavours of wood did she like best?
celine: Rosewood
zoey: big oof. expensive
celine: Indeed.
zoey, 2 hours later: haha hard wood
rumi powerpoint: Why Celine Shouldn’t Get To Give Baby Rumi Presentations Anymore slide 1 of 313
slide one: i called your families and asked for baby photos & stories
slide two: sit here & fucking suffer
mira powerpoint the next week: Reasons Why Rumi Should Become a Private Investigator
slide one: hot.
slide two: tracked down literally everyone i have ever been in contact with for “baby stories”. insane breach of trust & probably several laws
slide three: still hot, unfortunately
celine powerpoint two: Etiquette Of Mothers In Law slide count 4000
celine: it is considered in many circles to be inappropriate to message your mother in law sexual innuendos
Rumi: oh my god. zoey
zoey: YOU DONT KNOW THAT WAS ME
celine: at 3:14 am, on the 1st of August 2022, mira messaged: “gimme one chance” along with the following photo of me. thank you, mira
mira: welcome
celine: deeply inappropriate
mira; yep
Rumi; kill me
celine: STILL NOT FUNNY. (slight pause for a cheeky menty b) the following sixty three messages were from zoey. on a single night.
zoey: OH WE DONT NEED TO SHARE THESE
celine, blank faced, monotone, clicking through the slides: beggin for it. gagging for it. did you know what this would to do the world when you wore it. please. please please please. please, extended with fourteen e’s and eight s’s. literally what. rumis mom has got it going on—
Rumi: im summoning my sword
zoey & mira joint presentation: Incomplete List of Lies Rumi Told Us Instead of That She Has Patterns
mira: let’s get the normal ones out of the way first. im modest. im cold today. i like this shirt (we know this was a lie. it’s ugly)
celine: i bought you that shirt
rumi: yes and i like it (zoey & mira turn around to show off the backs of their matching jackets : LYING . NO MORE) girls i think u are standing in the wrong order
Fun little comic doodles based on @unicyclehippo amazing and funny post
Last one

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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*snrrt* *rrrrt* "hrrrrrrrrr...."
i didn't know a cat's nose could do that
Greek Kitties #9, 2026 by Timothy Adam Matthews (British); Oil on canvas, 16x20 in
The most basic, intractable fact about mental illnesses is that you simply cannot willpower your way out of them. The only exceptions to this rule are the ones I have, which continue to disable me due to lack of determination and other grave personal flaws
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Celine has always been an unshakeable constant in the lives of her students; poised, controlled, always projecting exactly the image she wishes the world to see.
Well. Not always.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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okay, for those interested, here is a full timeline of how we got to Count Binface:
1977: Star Wars is released, featuring, of course, Darth Vader
(Pictured: Darth Vader)
1984: Director Todd Durham releases his Star Wars parody movie, Hyperspace, featuring Darth Vader inspired villain Lord Buckethead.
(Pictured: Hyperspace poster featuring two Jawa-esque aliens flying through space in a shopping trolley.)
1987: Hyperspace is released on video in the UK, under the new title Gremloids.
(Pictured: Gremloids cover in the style of the original Star Wars poster, featuring Lord Buckethead.)
To promote the film, Mike Lee, the owner of the distributing company, ran for parliament as Lord Buckethead. He ran in Margaret Thatcher's constituency, Finchley, in order to get on TV. Lord Buckethead was representing the Gremloids party.
(Pictured: Lord Buckethead on TV with Margaret Thatcher.)
1992: Gremloids is re-released. Lord Buckethead rides again, this time against prime minister John Major in Huntingdon. (Here's a fun fact about Huntingdon: I was born there! :D) 87/92 Buckethead seems to have leaned pretty hard into the space supervillain thing, with campaign promises including 'demolish Birmingham to build a spaceport'.
(Pictured: Lord Buckethead on TV with John Major. Other notable candidates include Screaming Lord Sutch of the Monster Raving Loony Party.)
2017: comedian Jon Harvey, having recently watched Gremloids and learned of Lord Buckethead's candidacy for parliament, decides it's a great bit. He runs against Theresa May in Maidenhead. 2017 Buckethead seems to have a wackier and also more political approach, with campaign promises ranging from nonsense like 'nationalise Adele' to gesturing at actually sensible policies with stuff like 'lower the voting age to 16 and restrict voting after age 80'.
He also made an appearance on Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. As with his previous incarnation, he was a member of the Gremloids party.
(Pictured: Lord Buckethead dabbing on stage with Theresa May.)
2018: Director Todd Durham asserts his legal ownership of Lord Buckethead. Jon Harvey opted not to go to court over Buckethead and handed over the reins. Todd Durham extended an invitation to anyone who wanted to be the 'authorised' Lord Buckethead.
(Pictured: the new Lord Buckethead.)
2019: Lord Buckethead, now played by journalist David Hughes, stood against Boris Johnson in Uxbridge and South Ruislip. He ran for the Monster Raving Loony Party, the UK's pre-existing gag candidate party. He ran with a similarly silly manifesto as the 2017 incarnation, but with a bit less of a political edge. His promises included 'All doorways to be increased by 1 foot (30 cm) in height' and 'Nigel Farage to be sold for parts'.
(Pictured: Lord Buckethead and Count Binface square up.)
Meanwhile, Jon Harvey in his new persona Count Binface, also ran against Boris Johnson. Buckethead and Binface face off! Binface ran as an independent with a manifesto once again blending silly and semi-serious promises such as 'nationalising model railways' and 'giving £1 trillion a week to the NHS'. This was also I believe the debut of his promise to 'move the hand dryer in the men's toilet at Uxbridge's Crown and Treaty pub to a more sensible position'.
(Pictured: Count Binface presenting the offending hand dryer, inconveniently close to both the sink and the urinals.)
He has a point.
2021: Count Binface runs for the position of Mayor of London for the first time, with promises such as 'London to join the European Union'. He notably finished ahead of far right party UKIP.
2023: Count Binface runs in the Uxbridge and South Ruislip by-election following Boris Johnson's resignation. He once again gets more votes than UKIP.
May 2024: Count Binface once again runs to be Mayor of London, debuting his now iconic 'build at least one affordable house' promise. Notably, he finished ahead of far right party Britain First.
(Pictured: Count Binface with Rishi Sunak. Also pictured: Monster Raving Loony Party candidate Sir Archibald Stanton with a ventriloquist's dummy.)
July 2024: Count Binface stands in the general election, running in Richmond and Northallerton against prime minister Rishi Sunak. He debuts his promise to cap the price of 99p flakes at 99p. This is his most successful election to date with 308 votes.
(Pictured: Count Binface with Andy Burnham. Also pictured: independent candidate Robert Pownell, dressed as a fox for his own reasons.)
June 2026: Count Binface stands in the Makerfield by-election against Andy Burnham, (recently) former Mayor of Manchester running for parliament with the intention of standing in the Labour Party leadership contest.
(Pictured: Count Binface on BBC's Newsnight.)
July 2026 (this week): Count Binface announces his intention to run against Nigel Farage in the upcoming Clacton by-election. He is briefly the only other candidate in the race and by the time other candidates announce themselves the narrative of 'Nigel Farage vs Count Binface' has already bedded in. And then it was now, and then I don't know what happened.
For clarity's sake, Robert Pownall is dressed as a fox because he's an anti-fox hunting campaigner, and also he will be standing in the Farage Vs Binface election. So that's fun