you used to be able to get a job just by circling a listing in a newspaper in red pen

hey sorry but your boyfriend took the king's shilling last night. yeah. he's enlisted now. we're sending him o'er the hills and o'er the main. to flanders portugal and spain yeah. the king commands and we obey. you know how it is. sorry.

It can groove and boogie so young. What a delightful creature.

The other day my wife told me about this influencer who said she needed to go on ozempic so she could go from 130 lbs down to 115 and I really cannot stress the degree to which we have so COMPLETELY lost the plot with this glp1 shit. Like not only are people are going on this shit for purely cosmetic purposes, the cosmetic purposes are delusional. This is the kind of mindset that gives people eating disorders but now because you can get a prescription instead of having to starve yourself or enduce vomiting a big swath of the general public seems eager to go along with it. Body Positivity did not go fucking far enough because I am being so real when I say that fatphobia is more of a public health crisis than obesity has ever been

using naturalistic fallacies to justify not wearing sunscreen specifically is so wild to me. there's so many animals out there protecting their skin the best they can without thumbs. you think a pig wouldn't wear sunscreen if it could? they have to settle for mud. you're out here in the sun not even wallowing first.

People love to go “ in the Soviet Union they picked your job for you 😭” yeah cunt that’s what we’re doin now too except they make you bark like a dog for three weeks straight first getting denied everywhere you wanna work until you end up somewhere you dont like anyway. Let’s just cut out that middle man why don’t we

quick linguistic history lesson. the term “woke” originates from african american communities to describe being “awake and aware” of the current sociopolitical climate. this term has been used since at least the 1930s. it wasnt until 2014 during the ferguson protests that the term entered the wider vernacular. mainly as a result of black twitter. and as is common with many things coined by the black community. it was repeated and commercialized to death to the point where now most people only using it mockingly. including people on the left. the point is. “woke” is not a bad word. the alt right wants it to be one.

honestly fandom has ruined me because now any time i'm in the desert and i see two vast and trunkless legs of stone or a half-sunk shattered visage i'm like "omg just like in Ozymandias" and its like come on girl not every half-sunk shattered visage is Ozymandias

washing machine time to human time converter online

onto better things thursday

ancient peoples loooved a flood narrative it was kinda like their beatles

the 20th century is crazy what do you mean that airplanes didnt exist in 1900 and by 1999 Futurama was airing

I wish it was possible to have any conversation about hygiene online without 500 people climbing out the woodwork to rant at length about how disgusting anyone who doesn't have the 50 step routine they personally consider obligatory is