homeric old man yaoi

happy pride <3

just got a vision fully formed in my mind of an early 2000s high school romcom based on the iliad

greeks and trojans are rival school football teams. hector is the captain and the rivalry has suddenly turned personal bc his brother (called something douchebaggy like preston) (also on the soccer team) “stole” the cheerleader girlfriend (obviously named ellen) of the rival’s school’s captain. the gods are the high school teachers and administrators who hold absolute power over the fate of the students idk. b plot where ellen’s cousin penny is always getting stood up by this guy (called lee or something, short for ulysses) because he keeps finding himself in increasingly improbable situations and never makes it to any of their dates but swears he’s going to get there one day. she works on a friendship bracelet for him every time she’s waiting for him to show up and he never does and tells herself when she finishes it she’ll just forget him and go out with the many other guys who are very into her but she always ends up undoing the bracelet whenever it looks like it’s going to be done.

to be honest not sure how dragging hector’s lifeless body around troy could fit into this so im cutting the achilles storyline