Redcoat Suggestions

I would be fucking the musket

pandemonium in the cobblestone streets there's musket smoke blocking all vision your mate just took direct cannon fire screams of the fatally wounded all around and you're going to town on a musket

Yeah I would be fucking the musket

All my haters keep dropping heavy artillery on my position and it's starting to really piss me off

slaying absolute doodle

yanking absolute do— [british short land pattern brown bess gunshot]

1776 IS GONNA BE MY YEAR

All well-trained Tumblr followers should be able to load and fire a musket three times in under a minute. If they are unable to do so, I recommend the Ancient Roman practice of Decimation

Sunday morning very Cold. Left our Barracks with much Complaining. My Shoes had reach’d the end of their functional Service in the Night & I was oblig’d to borrow. Breakfast of Burgoo — found that we were Fortunate enough to be issued Sugar but it was so thoroughly Congeal’d the Corporal was oblig’d to excavate it from its Vessel with the End of a metal Spoon in the manner of a Pick-Axe. Embarked at 9 00 toward Boston! I being unburden’d of any Arms found the March merely Bracing & we sang a good Share of favorite Songs, such as High Germany, How Stands the Glass Around, &ct. Sjt Maj G—— seem’d much entertain’d by this. Capt L—— less enthus’d by my & S——‘s attempt to exchange a Volley of Snowballs & shut it down Promptly.

Insist to your Serjeant that your suggestion to “Seize the Local Farmer’s Turkey and Make Away With It, Intending to Roast and Carve it for Supper” was purely in jest, seeing as the Fowl in Question was not particularly Endowed in qualities of Plumpness and Largeness anyway, and would probably only have provided Ample Sustenance for Two or Three Men, Insatiate as they are, in the first place, but I Digress