I'll think of a title later

the following events ensued:

1. predictable lively discussion on the preparation of Wienerschnitzel, in which natives and wurstaboos are pro-puff and everybody else is like *confused dog head tilt* why wouldn’t you want the crust to stay ~attached to the thing you put it on? as with other fried foods?

2. thirty “Bad Schnitzel is my band name” jokes

3. thirty “Bad Schnitzel is my stripper name” jokes

4. one “ah yes, Bad Schnitzel! a lovely spa town” joke

5. this absolute masterpiece:

Let’s play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.

If you do up to 100,000 cumulative damage to Vocivus (the current plot boss) you get several very good awards

Vocivus started with 850 mil HP, but players almost killed it within 12 hours so TNT boosted it to 3 billion

For players with untrained pets, grinding up to 100K points can take hours, so it's best if it doesn't die too fast

Elite battlers really like Vocivus as it provides a genuine challenge on account of having randomized element immunity and healing from light attacks

Therefore, people on the Neoboards have been "feeding" it light attacks to make sure it doesn't die too fast and have been petitioning it to stay as the "pet" of the Battledome Chat

Some users have also started a psudo-cult worshiping it so now the boards look like this

“Freedom always has a price.”