hwæt the hell, sure

Bro, we are cooked. The knight that dogs the prince's shadow like a dark and silent wraith just knelt to press his forehead to the prince's hand. Yeah, now he's uttering a prayer whose recipient is ostensibly God but in reality is the deified version of the prince that exists only in his mind. Aaand the prince just caressed his cheek to preemptively grant him absolution. I gotta... I gotta get out of here.

the plague rat is the most tragic medieval figure because they are scorned only for the era they lived in. that very same rat could have been the revered pizza rat were it alive today

a version of the noun “spear” in old english is þræc-wudu, which essentially means “power wood” or “force wood” but the beautiful part it that þræc is pronounced like THRACK which really gives you a sense of what a spear does

door to the mri room at a hospital with a warning sign that says ❌NO KNIGHTS❌ with a simplistic illustration of a naked guy in polka dot underwear and a bunch of pieces of armor stuck to the machine beside him

don’t give me a medieval peasant because i Will put them on a trampoline and zip the net shut just to see what happens

telling the knight that if he truly were a stoic of that bygone Roman era, he would train in the nude and let me watch pleaseee