Munch away your sadness

the never-ending avpd dilemma of not wanting to talk to anyone in an unfamiliar environment bc no one Knows you but also not wanting to talk to anyone in a familiar environment bc you are Known

HORRIBLE AVOIDANT REALITY: you have to talk to people to start therapy. or get a job. or make friends. or keep friends. or get your emotional needs met. or

me? oh yeah I’m fine, just lacking some vital human thing which makes life possible to live lol

avpd is having to live your life in secret and then lying about everything just to get through interactions

being jealous of other people being able to express themselves while you just rot is such a mood

AVPD is like every sentence I say makes a [LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER] sound ring inside my head

avpd culture is i would talk to you, but there's something deeply wrong with me. i can hide it from you as best i can initially but eventually something will give and i'll ghost you and never think of you again so that i don't feel the shame of all that time I was visible to you

i imagine being medicated would feel good as fuck. unfortunately i have to rawdog whatever's wrong with me

jobs for people who cant do or handle anything

Always hard to explain how when something is wrong because it changed The Routine(TM), I don't necessarily have an opinion or want a replacement, I'm just thrown off now because it's just not The Routine(TM)

the summer is like well what if it was unbearable outside and you can't wear any cool jackets. and everyone's going to tell you that this is the best time of the year. and you're the crazy one

its so much and its dishonest work

employment

trying to apply for jobs and all these say the minimum qualification is “effective communication skills”. I am NOT getting in

Different from the normal stuff I post, but I feel it’s important to share. I feel like Autism isn’t talked about enough. Not just in general, or the specific symptoms, but how genuinely depressing it can be. I don’t think people understand how difficult it is to go months without having any meltdowns or really bad episodes and feeling like maybe the doctors were wrong, maybe I “grew out of it”, or maybe I’m finally doing things right, just to have a really bad meltdown that leaves you unhappy and overly irritable for days. To be so brutally reminded that you’re different from everyone else, on a neurological level that can never be fixed. You will never be the same as your friends, your family, or anyone you meet to no fault of your own and you can never fix it. It fucking sucks and more people should be aware of it.

Your quality of life will increase ten-fold when you learn to appreciate the sight of a little bird

your twenties are Also about discovering that you’re not a bad person in all the ways you believed you were but you’re a bad person in completely new and exciting ways