This would have had me crucified on tumblr 10 years ago but maybe we are ready for this conversation now:
If you are a socially anxious person, you have to socialize. Your panic/anxiety attacks will only get worse and trigger more frequently if you constantly avoid contact with The Public. Not saying that you need to be a social butterfly- but there is a genuine problem with not being able to order your own meal at a restaurant. And it cannot be solved by always having someone else do it for you.
This is a PSA to about 3/4s of the Portland Youth populace
everyone who reblogs this and is like "I ordered my own tea this week" or "I only barfed once when I had to give a presentation'- you are doing amazing sweetie. Have patience with yourself, you are relearning a skill so difficult that people get 4 year degrees to do it professionally.
I struggled immensely with this when I was younger. For most of my early life I only ever had one friend, spent a lot of time alone in my room and I was also bullied. However, my parents moved around a lot and I had to adapt to new social environments every 1-4 years. I attended 2 kindergartens and 7 schools in total. For me personally, getting all these "fresh starts" was pretty good. It helped me try out different ways to establish myself in a social situation where no one knew me. I also had one teacher in fourth grade who put special emphasis on helping me connect with my fellow pupils.
The most striking memory for me are the bus rides. I used to take the bus to school and all my bullies would usually take the same bus. Once, I was sat in the back near them and I got very anxious because I was afraid they would start talking to/making fun of me. So, I prepared some answers for if they started taunting me: I prepared compliments! I looked at each and every one of them and tried to find something nice to say, like "I like your shoes" or "nice earring" and then I realised I would always have the highground if they started targeting me. It helped so much! And guess what, they never did start talking to me in the bus.
It's funny, but these days, I'm considered a very outgoing person. I find people to talk to almost anytime and any place I want. I have a wonderful circle of friends whom I can be myself around. Of course I still spend a lot of time alone in my room. I still really enjoy and need it to recharge. But I'm so much more social and it is a skill like any other: it takes practice and patience.
