if I could learn to twang like a rubberband

Die CDU hat ihn ja nur Kanzlerin werden lassen wegen seines jahrelangen Psychoterrors. Vielleicht haben sie jetzt zu viel Angst davor, dass er komplett abdreht, wenn sie ihn absetzen.

Wer auch immer sein Nachfolger wird - eines nachts kommt sie/er nach hause und da lauert Fritz in Dunkeln, American Psycho Style -

Elrond: Alright, everyone listen up. We elves have 4 methods of dealing with Accursed Fucking Objects™, as demonstrated by my four parents. 

Number 1, the Elwing Method or Mom Method. This is to hide the accursed fucking thing away and keep it safe and close. This is highly not reccommended if the object can take over its user like the ring can, and Sauron will be searching for it, so this method is out of the question. 

Number 2, the Earendil Method or the Dad #1 Method. This is, send the accursed fucking thing across the sea or to some higher power. According to Mithrandir, the Valar will not take it and Tom Bombadil wants nothing to do with it, so this is also out of the question. 

Number 3 is the Maglor Method, or Dad #2 Method. This is to yeet the accursed fucking thing into the ocean. In this case, it is not a good idea as Ulmo will be very upset and we will still have to contend with Sauron.