sidetrack my engine and go home

Polycules should be able to trade people like sports teams do

Listen -- you're a good defender and your pussy is fantastic, but that's not what our team needs right now. We're trading you to Greater Boston in exchange for someone who has a car.

The fires in my home territory are fucking apocalyptic. So many people are losing their homes. I can’t remember a time when the fires in the Okanagan were this bad

ohh my god but what if there is still time. what if there is still time. hey. there is still time? there is still time. have you heard. there is still time. hi. there is still time. did you know. there is still time.

t-shirt that says I ❤️ AVOIDING GOING TO SLEEP

just started reading the DSM-5! no spoilers please <3

have you gotten to the exile arc

sorry about me. or youre welcome. depending

I think some of y'all would really benefit from learning the scope of power of various political offices.

Are you trying to tell me my local schoolboard doesn't have the ability to declare a unilateral ceasefire with iran?

If they try hard enough and are pure of heart... still no.

hi aromantics and asexuals and aroaces. I love you.

also everyone who's anywhere else on the aspectrum and everyone who's questioning if they're aspec. hi I love you too.

not to drive the implicit point home too hard but I also can't think of literally any other instances where it's been good or helpful to say "[class of people] are all universally bad and stupid because of their small brains and crazy hormones". so idk why we think saying it about teenagers is the one exception to the rule. even if you're tacking on a "so this is why we have to be nice to them. because they can't help having small dumb brains." who does this rhetoric help?

lowkey i haaaate when the advertisement doesnt fit me at all. wdym you're giving me an ad for daycare? i don't have kids 😭😭😭 **turns to face you and starts making unblinking eye contact** That's why I gave big data corps all my information. 🙂 Because if they're going to advertise things to me, at least let it be relevant! 😂 Like these doorbusters at Kohl's. 😳 That feeling when you find the perfect pair of jeans at Kohl's. 😵‍💫 That feeling when you find the perfect pair of jeans at Kohl's. 🤣 That feeling when you find the perfect pair of jeans at Kohl's. 🤓 That feeling when you find the perfect pair of jeans at Kohl's. 🙂 That feeling when you find the perfect pair of jeans at Kohl's. 🙂 That feeling when you find the perfect pair of jeans at Kohl's. 💀 That feeling when you find the perfect pair of jeans at Kohl's. 🙂

scientists have recently announced that exoplanet HR 3499a is no longer believed to be potentially capable of supporting life, after new spectroscopic readings indicated that it doesn't even have a dishwasher. "i mean, it doesn't even have a fucking dishwasher," said the lead researcher. "I guess you could live there, but, like, would you really want to?"

so hard to beat the gay allegations when you’re gay

If I have to create one more goddamn password I’m going to blow up the sun

i still find it so genuinely Weird when i think about the fact that fat people irl are a rather common occurrence. your family, your friends, your coworkers, people on the bus, random passerbys - there are fat people there. usually often. but when you look at Any form of media - movies, tv shows, video games, books are more complicated as not a visual medium but there too, fat people are almost nonexistent. one fat person for the whole movie. one fat person in the background of your fictional city. this is so insanely unrealistic but at the same time nobody comments on this and "we" accept it as normal!! and then people even think their own fatness makes them into some rare failure instead of one of the incredibly common body situations. crazy