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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@anohioqueer

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porn… this is porn
Adorable baby fakes crying when daddy tries to cut her fingernails. (x)
This is so cute like when do babies start learning these things like she’s scaring the shit out of her dad but she thinks it’s a game
this is the cutest fucking shit ive ever seen
I reblog this every time I see it
Jolene is repressed bi culture
the singer is purportedly asking Jolene not to take her man but
Your beauty is beyond compare/ With flaming locks of auburn hair/ With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green/ Your smile is like a breath of spring/ Your voice is soft like summer rain/
this is the least heterosexual thing i personally have encountered
Real faith is looking at your suddenly functioning code and not knowing why it works and saying: “I do not need to know. I, unworthy, receive and do not question.”

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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never hit reblog faster
if i was a shapeshifter, half of my time would be spent making myself look androgynous and trimming up the things about my shape I’m not happy with, and half of my time would be spent making my teeth look just a little bit sharper than is normal, changing my eye-color subtly between slightly unsettling shades, and giving myself an intricate “tattoo” that just barely moves every couple of hours, until it’s in a whole new shape next time you look at me.
I’d just get rid of my boobs.
And then sometimes I’d be a dragon.
sigh…
Oh my fuck I just spit my drink everywhere
I’m in fucking tears
I ugly laughed
Mammals both produce milk and have hair. Ergo, a coconut is a mammal.
I know you’re being facetious, but this is an actual issue with morphology-based phylogeny.
*leans over and whispers to person beside me* what are they talking about
*leans over and whispers back* Human ability to quantify and categorize natural phenomena is sketchy at best and wildly misleading at worst
consider the coconut
this reminds me of that time Plato defined humans as “featherless bipeds” and Diogenes ran in with a plucked chicken screaming “BEHOLD A MAN!”
i love how you say “it reminds me of that time” like you were there.
listen if an immortal feels brave and supported enough to come out we should respect them
This post is a journey
1 Reblog = 1 Respect
I maintain that humans started attempting classify animals, and some god or another made the platypus, and is still laughing.
Zeus: *hits joint* okay so like. It’s gonna have a duck bill right. But an otter body okay? And then a beaver tail. It’s a mammal. But. It lays eggs!
Hades: wait wait dude. Give it. Give it poison. Make it poisonous
Athena: You mean venomous, and make sure the eggs have both reptile and bird traits. Hermes: *takes the joint* Give it extra senses. Poseidon: It should be aquatic.
I MEAN where’s the lie
Demeter: … And where exactly do you expect me to put this? Everyone: Australia.
Lucy Liu photographed by Peter Lindbergh
i really enjoy lucy liu demonstrating how many ways she can kill a man

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Straight men who complain about being unable to give women orgasms and talk about it like this illusory cryptid at the heart of the Feminine Mystique or whatever are not even trying and are honestly fucking trash. I’m a gay man who has never had sex with a woman and I know just from a five minute Google search where a clitoris and a g-spot are and what they do. All you need is literally the most basic knowledge of (cis) women’s anatomy beyond “penis go here” and the willingness to communicate with your partner and you can do it. Stop bitching about how weird and mysterious The Females are and make her come for fuck’s sake
More fun facts about ancient Celtic marriage laws: There were no laws against interclass or interracial marriage, no laws against open homosexual relationships (although they weren’t considered ‘marriages’ since the definition of a marriage was ‘couple with child’), no requirement for women to take their husband’s names or give up their property, but comedians couldn’t get married
It’s Adam and Eve not Adam Sandler and Eve
I want to expound upon “comedians couldn’t get married” thing because it’s actually really interesting. Satire was respected in Ancient Ireland. It was thought to have great power, enough to physically maim the subject one was making jokes about. Satirists could bring down kings with a witty enough insult. That was actually their original function. When the king didn’t do right by his people, a bard was supposed to compose a poem so scathing it would raise welts on the king’s skin to oust him (it was illegal for a “blemished” king to rule.) Unwarranted satire was considered a form of assault. So what it boils down to is ancient Celts being like “These people are too dangerous to reproduce. DO NOT TRUST THEM WITH CHILDREN. EVER.”
whats a king to a bard
Thats literally a dnd skill
Vicious mockery at sixth level
He really outed us huh
… I want to see the rest of this show now…
that music took me OUT
http://www.macon.com/news/local/crime/article209031089.html
Omg you added the mugshot! lmao
and i hope she get time
When i tell u I’m fucking CACKLING w/ my head titled back!!!!!!
It gets better.
And in honesty, they could’ve whooped her ass. To a pulp.
How do these whites expect us to respect them when they act so thuggish in public
Fuck that nasty woman. Ha!

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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those snakes are not fighting they are fucking. im very sorry
while two snakes FUCK to the death
That dog looking at the snakes like why you gotta do that while I’m eating
Metal as snakes fucking.
Jester is the last one to realize the Gentleman is her father.
Bonus: