🌙ẩn🌤

I told a guy his total was 13.21 and he said “wish it were that year, could actually get some good music on the radio”

breaking news from the AP, our boys on the front have just sacked constantinople. take that, heretics. coming up next are the soothing lute dirges of bing crosby

OH MY GOD THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER

what should I listen to

women

Asunder is basically the most classic way to be torn, and if you're looking to be cleft, in twain is a vintage but stunning choice

Let go of the idea that diy will inherently look shit. All your clothes are handmade you just don't see the people doing it.

Also, sewing machines are one of those things that is often much better to buy used, because in the old days they used metal gears and now the gears are nylon and don't last as long. If you want to get a sewing machine and dabble, I highly suggest looking on Craigslist or at estate sales for a used one. Mine cost me $30 and would have gone for much more, adjusted for inflation, when it was new. But people inherit sewing machines or want to give them away all the time, so it is very worth checking on the used market near you if you want to get into sewing clothes but aren't sure where to start. You can often get a lot more sewing machine for your buck than if you buy a new one.

Doctors should snark at each other more, be a bit mean. Not for no reason, mind you. But if five doctors blow me off about symptoms and doctor number six FINALLY runs actual tests and gets a diagnosis, I think it should be Doctor Six's right to call up the other five and tell them they're lazy pieces of shit. That should be socially encouraged. Those first five doctors clearly can't listen to patients, but maybe another doctor might finally get to them.

*Buys cartons of Miiboros for resale in New York*

I am genuinely so fucking stupid. I was reading this book where a bunch of people have to pass a logic puzzle in order to survive, and I was like "why are they all dying?? the answer is obviously the third goblet from the left!" yeah.....that was not the answer. I would've died in this book, and I would've been SO publicly smug before I did. like giving people the finger, smirking, etc. this sucks.

kindly and humbly asking for the book 🤲🏾

it's called How To Seduce A Dark Lord, and is currently in pre-order! I'm halfway through an advance copy and having a lot of fun so far

you used to be able to get a job just by circling a listing in a newspaper in red pen

And newspapers

previously unseen genders in human history

But it’s also hysterical because its like, what if a guest on your favorite twitch stream turned out to be in the middle of a one-man military operation and now the markiplier has to help him save the entire universe from the greatest evil ever conceived? And then the show just ended like normal?