$LAYYYTER
Noah Kahan
Jules of Nature
art blog(derogatory)
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

Discoholic πͺ©
we're not kids anymore.

bliss lane
π©΅ avery cochrane π©΅
taylor price
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

if i look back, i am lost
Misplaced Lens Cap
Sade Olutola
Cosmic Funnies
d e v o n
ojovivo
Xuebing Du

blake kathryn
seen from Brazil

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@aniallia

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-> listening to a jaunty country style song -> hear the lyrics wrong -> pause. frown. go back a few seconds to relisten -> hears the same fucked up lyrics -> check the actual lyrics to see what it ACTUALLY says
-> oh!
gentle reminder that if u feel hungry soon after eating, it might be bc youβre eating mostly carbs without adding enough protein. try eating a handful of nuts or smthing alongside your next meal.
and you donβt have to change the recipe or anything! you can eat what you were going to, just add some cheese cubes or a handful of nuts or salami slices on the side. u donβt have to change your meals, just add a little extra protein
thats nice but what do I need to do If I wake up around 3 am every other night with an unquenchable hunger for flesh even tho I ate normal balanced meals trough the day?
spoonful of peanut butter
another way to manage the undying hunger for flesh is to eat 15-20 live crickets. their souls are weaker than most other animals that size but they are easy to get a hold of and have the best flavor
this checks out!
This Dan Piraro comic always makes me cry.
When I lived in London there was a murder of crows that lived near me. I fed them often, they brought me presents (shiny rubbish and cigarette butts they found on the floor to thank me.)
When I moved, Iβm certain they understood I was leaving because I had all my stuff and gave them lots of food and compliments.
But, they chased down my friend who lived in the next burrough over. They had recognised that friend with me several times and followed them to their house when they couldnβt find me.
They adopted my friend and it was now my friendβs job to bring them snacks and receive the presents.
This was maybe 6-7 years ago.
I visited London last year. Went to see my friend. The crows all not only recognised me, they tracked me down. We got into my friendβs flat and not twenty minutes later there was chaos on the balcony.
We open the curtains, the entire fucking murder is there shouting because they wanted to see me.
Crows are the very best birds.
Two children ignoring the artwork at the San Francisco Museum of Art. ca. 1960s
Photographer: Herb Slodounik
Fuck, dude, it sure is.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Wdym you hate Stratt? Without her you donβt get a story
Omg I love this piece. Grace the hanging man, content with his life but cannot avoid the changes coming; the ship his noose, the rope that binds him to his fate; the blood red stars beside him, Olesya and YΓ‘o the angels haunting him in the background. Eva Stratt, the one who holds it all on her back, the world is literally on her shoulders, the Petrova line on her neck. She will not falter, cannot afford to move, and yet still she glares at us. Eva challenges us, daring us to ask if we could do better, if we could hold her burden for even a fraction of the time.
Eve, the mother of sin, who held the world in her hands and was cursed for not knowing.
Eva, director of the task force, who now holds the world, and still must curse man to save it.
In the end, it always falls on a woman. I could never hate you Eva Stratt
Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.
InsNe that dishwashers are more efficient and easier than just washing them manually but they also use less water. Itβs a win win situation
They ALSO sterilize dishes, due to operating at a far higher temperature than human hands could ever tolerate. It's a win every way.
Made this post about 15 minutes after the repair guy who fixed the pump on my dishwasher packed up his tools and left, as the dishwasher was whirring along doing my dishes from that morning.
He said the exact same thing, which I did not know before that, so spreading this knowledge.
It's actually so fucking weird that your identity is absolute these days. like, it's been normalized to the point we don't think of it much, but until a hundred years ago, hell even less, you could just kinda. go somewhere else, and be a new person. and that's not a thing anymore.
Yk this is fully untrue right? You can fully still do this if you're willing to change and let go of everything at literally any moment you want
since a good few people now have said this i want to be clear: you can move to a new town still and change socially, but like. the government still knows who you are. so do tons of corporations. your identity follows you.
13 hours later and the parade of stupid comments like this has not stopped =_=
a guy named Rusty cage did a video on how it's impossible to leave your identity behind unless you become a eunuch
fuck hermit I meant hermit
Identity is stored in the balls.
I wonder how aliens will react to our communal grooming instinct? Like when you see something stuck to your homieβs clothes/skin/hair and itβs driving you nuts and you just gotta be like βhold still, lemme get that for you real quick.β
One time when I was a kid, I had a science teacher with a snake as a class pet, and said snake was almost done shedding. There was one little bit of dried skin stuck to its face and I was like, βwould it hurt him if I pulled that off?β And the teacher said, βyes it actually could, itβs probably still attached to living skin if it hasnβt come off yetβ and I was like βoh, sorry,β and he said, βthatβs okay, you were just wanting to do the primate thing.β And damn, thatβs such an accurate descriptor.
Anyways I hope aliens donβt mind me/my descendants having the urge to pluck stuff off of them. If they ask, weβll have to tell them itβs a trait we evolved to survive ticks.
Sometimes you might feel the urge to help someone in a certain way, and sometimes they really don't want to be helped in that way, either because it would not help them (or even hurt them) or because they would rather do it themselves (for various reasons).
It's important to realize that sometimes you're going to be a primate and they're going to be a snake, and it needs to be okay if they do not want their skin pulled off at this time.
blood being frequently described as having a "coppery smell" in fiction is kind of funny considering that there is a metallic component to blood and it's not copper
in fact if your blood smells or tastes like copper you probably have more urgent things to worry about than it being outside your body. it's probably better that it's not inside you anymore actually.
story where blood is described as smelling or tasting "coppery" and it's actually early foreshadowing that all the characters are suffering from heavy metal poisoning

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it would suck being a new immortal. like itβd be 2109 and people would go,Β βwhat was it like seeing ancient civilizations rise and fall like that? seeing the pyramids being built? watching the expansion and growth of the new world?β and iβd just be like,Β βnoβ¦no i was born in 1991. so like, wow iβm gonna see some cool stuff, but, i mean iβm not that much older than just a really, really old person, you know? phones were big back then. so big. but only for like ten years, then they got like, as good as they are now. uh. rhinos existed. donβt think i ever saw one in person. cool, good talk.β
even worse, imagine being an immortal who keeps missing stuff.Β βWhat was it like seeing the pyramids being built?β βFuck if I know, I was in Madagascar.β βOh, okay. Well, how was the Renaissance?β βI fell down a hole in Scotland and people thought I was an enchanted well for four hundred years, it was over by the time I convinced someone to get me out.β
And now, a lesson in biases:
We barely know anything about Madagascar pre-500CE. We donβt even know whether the island had a permanent population before then, despite finding a bunch of much older signs of temporary human presence.
Malagasy mythology makes mention of the vazimba, a βprecursorβ ethnic group that might or might not be distinct from Madagascarβs current population.
The point is, we do not know.
So you were in Madagascar when the pyramids were being built in Egypt, i.e. during one of the most obscure, most undocumented parts of Madagascarβs human history?
Oh, buddy, you better go and make a bunch of anthropologists and archeologists really happy RIGHT NOW instead of feeling bad about missing everyone elseβs pet Major Event.
Itβs been a decade since we left that comment and you have the best reply anyoneβs left to it.
Zillow house listings
>go right
>go left instead (looks nice and fun!)
>β¦go back to the right
Go left
Go forward
Go right ->
Open the door! :3c
I wanna see whatβs inside!
Congratulations! You Have Made It To The Ping Pong Chamber!
asked one of my coworkers how she's doing today and she goes "could be better, could be worse," and another coworker nearby who was eavesdropping chimes in with "could be a lil bit o' alligator curse!" i have no idea what he meant by that but i do know that it has been immediately added to the lexicon.
I love that opera sits in this limbo where it's extremely well-known but not really beyond a surface level recognition, so you get commercials for makeup or whatever to the tune of the I Hate Women So Much It's Unreal aria
#in the first bridgerton book daphne describes her crush feelings as if her heart is playing the queen of the night aria from the magic flute#which i can totally see if you have never found out what the words mean. very high and fluttery.#but the lyrics are along the lines of THE VENGEANCE OF HELL BOILS IN MY HEART. IF YOU DON'T MURDER THAT MAN I WILL DISOWN YOU.#and i laughed so hard i had to put the book down
via @tophatandboots
oh my god??
@lymeandcoconut
#lmaooooo #my fave is that episode of white collar where neil is doing a theft #and the music they play over it is leporello's 'here's the list of all the hundreds of women my boss has fucked' aria from don giovanni #it's supposed to just sound grand and sophisticated but the guy is singing about how DG fucks tall women short women #fat women skinny women princesses and peasants he fucks them all! #and here's the numbers broken down by nationality! #he's fucked over 1000 women in spain you know!
#oh and he's singing all this to a former conquest who tracked DG down because he promised to marry her then ditched her #anyway it's a lot
A cat is a machine that turns proteins into violence.
#Helios was declawed by his former owners so he doesn't just slap things he dislikes like most cats#he really only feels confident in hissing at them#Especially because a lot of the thing he doesn't like are bugs and those are sharp sometimes :(#Selene has figured this out and now when she hears him hiss she sprints over the kill the fuck out of the bug#Helios has learned she will do this so he'll hiss at stuff louder and louder until she hears him#A nervous old man and his emotional support homicidal maniac tags by @gallusrostromegalus
I couldn't reblog without the tags because the context is hilarious
A Nervous Old Man (right) and his Emotional Support Violence Machine (Left)
Yes, he is more than twice her size. Yes, he is five times her age. Yes, he cries like a big baby until she kills Unacceptable Scary Things (earwigs) for him.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I spent almost an entire work shift drawing this tooth-rotting fluff
featuring the Eridian Welcoming Committee courtesy of @justcakethanks
Okay this is just on another level. I'm not crying IT'S JUST RAINING. ON MY FACE.