Grumpy Green Bean

when the author describes someone dying and you can just tell they’ve never actually died by the way it’s written

once these 15 million different stressful situations resolve themselves I’m gonna be so normal again. I can be normal and not exhausted

citationless behavior

its probably a normal sign for the economy that all of my adulthood fantasies are like "imagine having your own kitchen living room and bathroom to decorate" "what if i could get on a train" "maybe one day i could purchase a sturdy pair of shoes" "i should save and invest in a single bicycle"

in order to preserve my internet privacy i’ll have to start feeding everyone misinformation about myself. i don’t eat. i don’t sleep. i don’t breathe. i don’t blink. i don’t have “blood”

For a city to be walkable. It must also be sittable.

the state does not need to assign you a sex, nor does it need to keep inalterable record of it btw

nothing bottom jeans and boots with the nothing

the whole club was gone

being alive is great because there are so many different vegetables you can sauté. but then there are also the horrors

with faith and perseverance, one day we will sauté the horrors

where's that post of someone getting a letter from their bank like "dear keith we realise you're just taking the piss but every time you venmo your mate for 'al-qaeda training camp' we do have to, by law, fill out a lot of boring paperwork for the police so we'd really appreciate it if you'd stop doing that"

they want you to make fried rice

who is "they"

the wok left

how am I supposed to make fried rice if the wok left

skillet issue