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Im leaving the rq community, for a while I've been thinking of a lot of stuff and unfortunately I've come to the realization that this community has unfortunately only brought my mental health down.
And I was misunderstanding some of my own disorders and such that I thought I was trans IDs for.
I won't put anyone down for being apart of this community but I am officially leaving. All my accounts will probably stay up, but I don't know
I originally came into the community with a really really old account to troll and then I spiraled and thought I was apart of it but I never truly felt like I was
Mostly with the fact of I never once understood how people can be pro contact or having alters without trauma. While yes I did educate myself I did realize me personally, I don't really wanna say I anti or pro anything
If anyone comes across this post please know I'm not doing this out of hate but out of my own mental well-being.
I have another account which I will not be sharing as I wish to leave this chapter of my life behind me.
Thank you to everyone who was kind and helpful to me <3
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Ok I do need to force myself to study, so we are doing this game now.
[ I am researching on history,Paraphlies,science,++ etc and studying a lot of other things ]
1 Like = 5 minutes of studying ( history, music theory, scince, English,++ etc ) and researching ( politics, government,++ etc )
1 reblog = 15 minutes of studying ( history, music theory, scince, English,++ etc ) and researching ( politics, government,++ etc )
1 comment = 1 minute of studying ( history, music theory, scince, English,++ etc ) and researching ( politics, government,++ etc ) ( I know someone will spam this so that’s why the low number )
Tone ; not forced to do, noting will happen to prn if prn doesn’t do it .
( I can’t credit the userboxs on all posts due to low energy always , please ask about the credits if you want to know who made them )
Offline I use sign language to communicate as I have difficulty speaking, I also have resources that I use in school due to my disability (like being able to get out of class 5 minutes before the bell)
I have level 2 autism and anxiety great enough to warrant me a service animal (my cats)
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Im anti non consent stuff, but I'm almost not pro contact. I believe that consent is key but I also don't know what age that would be because of trans age, mental maturity (because age ≠ being more/less mature)
Not my typical post but fuck it. Vent under the cut
Tw for suci, abuse, trauma, and just a shit ton of heavy stuff
Yk those songs, the ones that are "500 miles", "when I grow up", "are you man enough", etc.
I fucking cry every time I hear them, and you know why? Because I didn't get to have a childhood, I didn't get to grow up like others.
"when I grow up" but it's me at the age of 5 watching my biological dad threaten to khs because of my abusive mom.
"when I grow up" but it's me at the age of 8 being groomed for 5 years and not realizing till I was 13 running away to him and he didn't care for me anymore because "I'm too old"
"when I grow up" but it's me at the age of 8 being ripped from my family to be placed in foster care and get sexually assaulted, have no one believe me and get painted as a sexual assaulter
"when I grow up" but it's me at the age of 11 learning my best friend died on my birth day
"when I grow up" but it's me sitting in my 9th grade English class learning my best friend committed and im 4 hours away
"when I grow up" but it's me in 10th grade at 3 am learning my mom died after we had finally started to reconnect because she got help, and then a month later my grandpa dying
"when I grow up" but it's me in 8th grade learning my cousin lost his battle to cancer
"Lord I'm one" because I tried to die at the age of 9 by slamming my head into a wall till it bled
"Lord I'm two" because I'm a victim yet I'm painted as the abuser
"Lord I'm three" because I never fully understood why my mom beat me for having low grades
"Lord I'm four" because even now I am not good enough, I need to be better, I need to be. Everyone hates me, no one actually likes me
"Lord I'm 500 miles from my home" because I am, I don't know what home means anymore
But are you man enough? Are you man enough to protect the little girl who was so traumatized she would scream and cry when someone told her no because no meant getting hit. Are you man enough to understand I'm trying? That I just want love?
The thoughts are still there, everything is still there. The nightmares I wake up from screaming. The way I flinch when someone raises their hand even though I haven't been hit in about a decade. The memories that I can't get back? Who am I? Am I even me? Or am I just another alter that is here because my mom tried to kill me because she was high on drugs and I was 5 and she needed the devil to get out of me?
Would you still love me if I'm not the perfect being I say I am? Would you still hold me if I was broken into a million pieces? Would you still kiss me if my scars were visible? Would you comfort me when im crying and cant make out good or bad?
Would you hate me when I scream, cry, bite, kick and scratch because I'm having a flash back? Would you still love me even after all that?
Or would you be like everyone else? The ones who see my scars and laugh, tell me that I'm not good enough even though I try my best. I try till I can't anymore. Till I'm struggling to stand, to think, to function. Would you still love me after all my faults come to show?
Would you still care if I wasn't perfect? Would you?
Would you still be there after I give up? Would you tell your children about me? Would you tell your friends how amazing I was despite being broken?
I can't die, no I cant. I have my cats and they don't deserve to find me like that. I have my biological dad who would question if it was his fault when it wasnt. I can't die, even though I so badly want to. I cant.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
♡ 𓏼 an ask game designed for both the asker and the answerer to get a chance to learn about each other! anyone can participate! ^_^ ask the question(s) WITH your answer(s) attached to your ask , and i’ll answer them ! try to keep your questions to a maximum of 3 per ask! །∔ ‿◞ ྀི
01 — 🍓 What was the very first radqueer identity you discovered in yourself? (transids, paras, muds, blankqueer stances, etc.)
02 — 🌈 How long have you been radqueer? Why did you join the community?
03 — 🍔 What identities impact your daily life the most? Are the impacts negative? Positive? Neutral?
04 — 🦄 Do you experience more euphoria or dysphoria? Or does it depend on your identities?
05 — ⛱️ Are you parasocial towards anyone in the rqc? If not, who’s your favorite creator in the community?
06 — ☮️ What are some of your favorite flag designs? Can be for any label whether you use it or not!
07 — 🍉 What identity are you most looking forward to transitioning to? How do you plan to transition (if you have a plan at all)?
08 — 🫧 If you could choose one identity to immediately and permanently transition to, what would it be and why?
09 — 🎨 What kind of content do you wish to see more of in the rqc?
10 — 🍭 If you could tell anti-radqueers one thing about the community, what would it be and why?
11 — 🎡 What’s something unusual that gives you euphoria / dysphoria?
12 — 🎉 If you also identify as LGBTQIA2S+ , do you feel your transids / paras / muds affect your queer identity and vice versa? Why or why not?
13 — 📚 Right now, what’s an identity you’re questioning? If you don’t have any, what’s the most recent identity you’ve adopted?
14 — 🐠 What paraphilias do you feel most drawn to? Can be ones you have or just ones you like the idea of!
15 — 🖍️ Choosing one or two of your paraphilias, what is your “type” within that attraction? (Example: being a zoo who prefers canines)
16 — 🛍️ What’s one thing you do or can do every day to alleviate some dysphoria for yourself?
17 — 🧩 If you were ever an anti, what changed your mind?
18 — 🛝 If you’re plural, do you have other radqueer headmates? If so, who are they?
19 — 🧃 In your experience, what’s your favorite transid? Which one brings you the most pride, for example?
20 — ☀️ What other aspects of your identity do you feel impact your radqueer identities? (Example: being transspecies because you’re a furry)
