an actual alraune

we are the daughters of the hamburgers you couldn't help

i think people are starting to confuse class analysis with bioessentialism. like... no not all men do this, but Men as a constructed social class do do this. that's still okay to say. that is regular material analysis of the world around us.

free the nipple has to make a resurgence for a number of reasons but bro look at our upcoming eternity of wet bulb temps youre smoking straight up cock if you think im keeping a shirt on when it hits 105° in new england

one of my kids broke his leg so his favorite recess activity now that kicking balls over the fence is off the table has been hangman, except we call it frankenstein because my teacher doesnt like calling it hangman, and its all good until he wants to take over and be the frankmaster, because a game of frankenstein (hangman) run by a kindergartner who cant spell and doesnt know all his letters is a crapshoot, except for the fact that every single time without fail his phrase is "dog eats," but he doesnt know how to spell "eats" so that part is different every time, but if he realizes youve caught on that the phrase is Dog Eats theres a 50% chance he will start improvising, and its in gods hands from there on out

it doesn't sit right with me your mind palace exists among mind shacks

Before influencers were a thing teenagers would base their entire personalities around Strong Bad emails

never kill yourself. you have to fill your mutuals dash with shit they don't care about forever, okay?

one of my favorite glados gags is she keeps pretending she went places. she's like i went outside today. girl you did not go anywhere.