an actual alraune

tumblr version of "you sir have won the internet. have an updoot"

man come on

funniest thing to ever happen was when my boyfriend put on the first episode of columbo (which i'd never seen) but he wouldn't tell me what show it was he would only say "you'll get it when he shows up." but a fun fact about the first episode of columbo is that he doesn't show up for 32 minutes and when he does, he silently walks into the room with a cigar and does a little pose and goes "hi i'm columbo."

its gonna be so nuts when our generation of old people is shuffling around with big stupid meme tattoos imagine being a personal support specialist in 2080 and peepaw has a bee movie script sleeve and youre twenty years old and delivering pills like dude what is that and he goes Its from a movie about a jerry seinfeld bug lusting after a human woman who looks like flo from progressive who is still a prominent american cultural figure and you say OK and then you help him plug into his VR headset to play for2nite the sequel to fortnite and he mains former president hunter biden and then you go on lunch break and pay $75 for a ham and cheese sandwich

you don’t realize how important lunch is until you’re wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then it’s 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.

lot of people commenting on this post like "who eats lunch at 4pm that's a terrible time to eat lunch" yes. that is the point. 4pm lunch is inadvisable. 4pm lunch is not the ideal. 4pm lunch makes the mind demons real.

Me, seeing the first frame of this video: Oh, mama's at the end of her rope. :')

did you know? some primates have been observed to exhibit "blogging" behavior

some primates are known to enjoy progressive rock music

members of one species of great apes have been seen playing league of legends in their natural habitat

Two things this website hates and that’s women and gay people who are gay in the “I have sex with other gay people” way and not some sort of thinly defined yearning and homophobic joke based system largely applied to brothers and male coworkers in early 2000s television shows. Three things this website hates actually sorry silly me but this website does hate black people.

At what point are you guys going to stop scolding the trans woman for saying women. I’m not some other category. I’m a woman. This site hates women.