an actual alraune

one of my kids broke his leg so his favorite recess activity now that kicking balls over the fence is off the table has been hangman, except we call it frankenstein because my teacher doesnt like calling it hangman, and its all good until he wants to take over and be the frankmaster, because a game of frankenstein (hangman) run by a kindergartner who cant spell and doesnt know all his letters is a crapshoot, except for the fact that every single time without fail his phrase is "dog eats," but he doesnt know how to spell "eats" so that part is different every time, but if he realizes youve caught on that the phrase is Dog Eats theres a 50% chance he will start improvising, and its in gods hands from there on out

it doesn't sit right with me your mind palace exists among mind shacks

Before influencers were a thing teenagers would base their entire personalities around Strong Bad emails

never kill yourself. you have to fill your mutuals dash with shit they don't care about forever, okay?

one of my favorite glados gags is she keeps pretending she went places. she's like i went outside today. girl you did not go anywhere.

there are’m only 23 types of people in the world

sorry for acting batshit crazy I was feeling a little unwanted

there's really no telling why he's called bender

I once saw someone try to suggest a male counterpart to misogyny should be called "androgyny"