Sexual jealousy

Constant aggression

Rigid hierarchy

Must win sports

Homophobia And Sexism Is Normal™

Eat people

Cool new werewolf instincts:

There is no five second rule

Corvids are friends

Hang out as a pack

Karaoke

Separation anxiety

Unconditional love and loyalty

Being able to sleep in almost any situation or position

Irresistible urge to chase squirrels and rabbits

Hating the vacuum cleaner

Wanting to do everything with friends

Loudly and repeatedly announcing to housemates that someone is at the door

Long, shouted conversations to other werewolves across the neighborhood (bonus points at 2am)

Taking advantage of any and all free food

Werewolf-vampire solidarity

Fighting any animal that trespasses into the backyard

Boundless energy

Too much energy

Eating out of the trash if it smells tasty

Being bad at sports because you don’t want to let anyone else take the ball from you. Then destroying the ball in front of everyone because you want to make a point

Trying to fight things 10x your size like a fucking idiot

Being unable to hold a grudge for more than a few hours

Trying to make people feel bad for you over mundane things that aren’t actually that bad. And somehow succeeding.

Snoring

Needing to try a bit of your friends’ food, even if you’ve tried it 5645674 times before and have never once liked it

Getting way too friendly with random strangers

Being in a love-hate relationship with water

Digging. For no reason.

Thinking you’re a badass despite being a hyperactive ball of emotions and hedonism

Multigenerational households!

Kids get really excited when someone comes home with groceries

“I can HELP put away the food!” “Oh, and have you whisk away the ice cream like last week? I’m fine, dear.”

Love to travel and follow food trends

Mostly very social and must have roommates/family/significant other/kids/friends around

However, not uncommon to travel alone for periods of time, especially after leaving home

Big friendly communal meals with lots of ritual around who gets served in what order

“Let grandma take her pick of the turkey first. It’s respectful, and she won’t take kindly to you cutting the line.”

Full pantries, stocking up on basics, the kind of people who always have extra oatmeal, or batteries, or a jump cable

Can hold conversations using body language and eye contact without saying a word

Cuddlers, especially with the social group

Yelling to get everyone to gather, and phone chains for anyone who lives further away

Lots of singing, the pack has a bunch of favorite songs that everyone knows by heart, and some may be song writers

“Can you smell this? Does this smell weird? Does this smell good?”

Lots of candles and incense with unusual scents

Passing houses and farms and land down through generations

Love home renovation

Communal child care and sometimes communal nursing

Kids are all really into wrestling and being outside

When someone is ready to leave the household, the younger they leave the further they tend to travel. Someone who leaves at 18 might go to another country, but someone who leaves at 26 might just move a town away.

Whether someone moves far or close to home, it’s not unusual to move back in at home a few times before settling down

“You know the futon is always open for you. Your cousins are in your old bedroom, but you’re always welcome!”

Kinda grumpy about neighbors pushing property boundaries

“Why do they have to let the damn mulberry tree hang over OUR driveway?”

Good endurance runners

Late walks at night, naps in the middle of the day

Really playful, especially with kids

This refers to a Finnish folktale where Väinämöinen (a wizard) sings his opponent Joukahaisen into a swamp almost drowning him (Joukahaisen promised his sister as a wife for Väinämöinen in order to save himself)

GIVE IT UP FOR DAY 15

Mila Jam (source)

Putting the full text of the NYT article that the first tweet was responding to underneath the cut.

Link to the original tweet: https://twitter.com/speechleyish/status/1275990670663012352

Link to a couple of more serious threads about exactly why the biennial “Durian: the Freakshow Fruit” articles are so annoying:

https://twitter.com/amirulruslan/status/1276088736296472577

https://twitter.com/amirulruslan/status/1276313332492845056

Look at them 💗