Writer, Disaster, Charmander

My dad has 4 half siblings and two step siblings. They're all a decent bit younger than him. When I was a teenager, we went to a family reunion, and I realized something—my dad did not respect his siblings. He looked down on all of them. He saw them as fuck-ups and overgrown children. My dad had the American dream: well paying management job, suburban house, wife, and three kids. My aunt and uncles did not. Excluding my aunt, none of them were married or in serious relationships. They hadn't really settled into long term careers. Several of them were working the kind of jobs that get called "Unskilled labor." So he looked down on them because the youngest one was in his thirties (and several were much older), and yet none of them had "settled down" into what he saw as lifelong, permanent careers and relationships and lives. He was polite to their faces, sure, but I heard how he talked about them behind their backs, to my mother.

And then a few years ago, we visited his brothers again for Thanksgiving. And I realized something again--he respected them now. He saw them as equals. Why? Well. All of a sudden, every single one of them had serious, committed romantic partners. They didn't even need to still be with those partners—one of my uncle's fiance passed away from cancer before they could marry—just having had one showed that they matured into a real adult participating in society. In fact, at one point, my aunt was telling my mom about how one of my uncles was no longer living in an apartment she owned, but instead, after having a steady girlfriend for about a year, he moved in with her. And my mom literally said to my aunt, "wow. Look at that. He finally grew up."

One of the lines that frequently gets repeated about anti-aspec sentiment is "why would anyone hate asexuals/aromantics/etc? They aren't even doing anything." And that's exactly it. In the eyes of amatonormative culture, we aren't doing anything. Adults are supposed to do things. That's how you become a member of society.

Little girl teaching her cats how to draw a flower 

*baby voice* “… and if you have any questions, just ask me! And now… yeah. And now you draw the roots. You draw them all twisted up! Got it? A flower? Now draw it. Did you get it, Luis Roberto? Did you get it, Jurandir? Look. Did you get it? That’s how you draw a flower.”

Also, if it was the waitstaffs literal job to talk to my dietician and see if there was an alternate hamburger that cost less than $540, or if my dietician had records saying the hamburger was covered and the restaraunt didn't get the memo.

Also, please highlight where in the post I say I yelled at anyone.

where in the post I say I

yelled at anyone.

(was asked to put my Bluesky thread on tumblr)

Just because of some stuff I saw yesterday: if you are a minor online, please do not openly identify yourself as such. It is not safe, it allows adults who want to interact with minors for bad purposes to know you are one.

There are different, safer ways to accomplish your goals than to do that.

You do not need to identify yourself publicly as a minor online to:

Ask that people respect your boundaries

Not create or interact with adult material

Not be a victim of harassment

Not give away personal information

All these are normal things anyone of any age can do online.

If you are being invited into spaces you don't want to be in as a minor, or which people have asked you not to be in as a minor, decline for any or no reason. If an adult wants to do something with you they should not with a minor, decline for any or no reason. If people do not accept that, they are not people you should be interacting with. Don't pretend to be an adult, just don't say you aren't.

I understand that recently, more people under 18 tend to say that they are under 18 to protect themselves online. People who are not dangerous don't need that information. People who are dangerous will gladly use it because they know you are vulnerable. You are not protecting yourself.

As an adult who doesn't really care to interact with minors, I probably won't interact a lot with you if you are "young." That's not hard to catch from the way people act online. If you are "young" I care about you being safe and not victimized by opportunists, regardless of your birth year.

Protect your identity and safety on the internet, and if you are a person who is vulnerable, be a mysterious figure. Make silly posts. Complain about "people you know." Complain about "living with your parents."