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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@agentsof-s-h-i-e-l-d

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I hope I'm online when it happens. I want to see a sudden flood of crab rave memes right after refreshing my dash, and in the middle of it all, the Castiel news meme. That's how I want to learn of it; not through anything solemn or serious, but via overwhelming silly celebration.
Therapist: When I said you needed a hobby I didn't exactly mean “join a SWAT team and practise medicine under active fire.”
Jack: Well. You know I tried hobby horsing first.
Therapist: Um. Okay. What happened?
Jack: They shot my horse because it was missing a leg.
Therapist: ...
Jack: ...
Therapist: ...
Jack: Oh come on. That was kind of funny, right?
tiktoks with vine energy pt. 8
You gotta watch this one the whole way through.

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"rickrolling is mean" rickrolling is the gentle, kind, prosocial descendant of what we used to do on the internet, which was putting a redirect to goatse in every possible misspelling of a url
Rickrolling is deceptive, but it's among the most harmless forms of deception available
in other words, it may tell a lie, but it will never tell a lie and hurt you
I feel so insane about ai. I've had face-to-face conversations with people who use it for therapy, who use it to calculate the safety of pill interactions, who use it for all their emails and grant applications and legal documents and academic papers and finance sheets and for every single question they have about the world, and if you tell them about the ecological costs they just laugh and say "I guess I've used a lot of water." and I've been in multiple gatherings of 10+ people where I'm THE ONLY PERSON who doesn't use chatgpt. it's turning me into a ranting raving pariah, because how don't you people see??? why don't you understand??????? this bullshit didn't exist five years ago, you absolutely do not need it, and it is destroying everything
my friend just had an art show and they were communicating with the gallerist over email. They could clearly tell that the gallerist was using AI to respond to their emails, but just rolled their eyes and moved on.
and then on the day of the show, my friend asks, "where is the camera I requested?"
gallerist: "you didn't request a camera"
my friend: "I did, and you confirmed that you would have one here."
gallerist: "that isn't true."
and then she proceeded to pull up the email thread, and my friend could see that every single email they had sent had been summarized by AI, and that the gallerist had then had AI write a response to them based on the AI summary, and that the AI had detected that they needed a camera, and confirmed on behalf of the gallerist that they would bring a camera, but because the gallerist had offloaded the work of actually reading and responding, she simply hadn't actually made any note of it herself, therefore didn't bring it, nor did she even know one was needed.
so my friend had done all of this communication about their needs and expectations to be able to make the show possible, and the person whose job it was to read that information and get it done had simply.... not read the information and not done it. because AI.
Dennis finds a way to get Robby to come back from his sabbatical sooner rather than later.
Robby has no reason to complain
Also, I looked up some references for each drawing; otherwise, I wouldn't have had a clue how the limbs work 😂
Everytime i see a retweet thats like “gay people will use any situation as an excuse to thirst trap” i think of trinity and dennis.
Dennis running a sugarbaby twitter account to help get some income, and it works so fucking well. Unfortunately (for trinity, who follows the account for his safety), he’s one of those gays that will thirst trap any and everything. She started roasting him for it on her private account, but then she messed up and did it publicly, and, oh, would you look at that, a hit tweet!
It starts becoming a bit of advertising, trinity makes a hit tweet and all the thirsty people head his way.
One of those people end up being Robby
the funniest man on the planet

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my farming sim game will have animal butchery as a normalized part of the gameplay loop to act as a lightning rod to draw all the discourse and thinkpieces away from topics that would annoy me more
in my farming sim game that has animal butchery as a normalized part of the gameplay loop, shipped products will be sold on a weekly basis, not a daily one. you get a big windfall once a week and then you budget around that. if you want more money in the interim you have to go sell to the local merchants whatever products they specialize in.
in my farming sim game, getting married to one of the townspeople will have a significant impact on your gameplay. if you marry the rival farmer, their smaller farm will be merged with yours. if you marry the town alchemist/doctor you get a buff to all your alchemy and you wake up from getting knocked out in your own home instead of their clinic. if you marry the priestess she uh, idk she does weather related divine magic for you so you can choose the weather, idk i haven't thought too hard about that one yet
my farming sim game will have a MILF you can actually F
these tags are probably a joke but genuinely i do think that more games with romance candidates in general should require you to at least be on friendly terms with their family/close friends before they will romance/marry you. so yes. romancing the MILF will require attending her kid's pretend tea party first. to prove you mean business
what really fucks me up about watching the truman show in 2025 is how it's not fictional. truman is fictional, but the truman show isn't.
there's thousands of truman shows. you find them on youtube, tiktok, instagram... family and mommy vloggers, sad beige moms and now the trend of neglectful moms showing the "reality" of parenting. all of them using their kids for entertainment. each child their own truman; living a life manufactured by their parents, a camera watching their every moment, broadcasted for the entire world to see.
tbh, i didn't even think about that when i made my post and holy shit you're so fucking right
rewatching RON2 realizing that titus slowly shedding layers of clothing between scenes symbolizes his slow (but sure) descent into his mental break. he loses the coat after he kills his father, the ascot after he fucks up in the woods and ursula slaps him, the vest, and finally the flannel after he realizes ursula would be willing to let him die. by the time he's beating up faith, he's just in his undershirt. the most brutal scene in the movie is akin to the rawest form of him, no longer restrained by the 'clothes' of propriety.
or maybe hes just slutty idk
THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING!!! ALWAYS SOMETHINGGG
Hey you can’t really like. Do anything about somebody perceiving your behavior as rude. Like they’re not telling you you’re doing something illegal they’re just saying hey you’re kinda being a shithead. It’s not discrimination or oppression for somebody to tell you you’re acting like a shithead rn.
“Wahhh why can’t I blare my TikToks in a shared public space!”
You CAN dude. In fact you ARE. You’re just going to be perceived as kinda shitty for it.
I’m pretty sure this is also the same kind of person who is physically compelled to get on someone else’s post and explain why THEY PERSONALLY have the One Correct Reason to not listen to rap or eat at Chik-fil-A or use ChatGPT or or or or. They obsessively crave universal validation so they don’t have to confront the fact that their actions have consequences and also say things about their character.
There is a really huge gap between "illegal" and "socially unacceptable". It's actually a mark of a free society that people can legally do things that don't cause significant harm to others, even though most people hate those things. Examples include cheating on your spouse and playing TikTok videos loudly in public spaces.

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Me: okay I am done talking about this thing that's upsetting me. Bye.
*literally two seconds later*: AND ANOTHER THING
english major macklemore: i read your granddad’s prose
therapist macklemore: i hear your granddad’s woes
coffee enthusiast macklemore: i drink your granddad’s joes
body mod shop owner macklemore: i pierce your granddad’s nose
pizza chef macklemore: i knead your granddad’s doughs
television network executive macklemore: i make your granddad’s shows
wildlife rehabilitator macklemore: i feed your granddad’s crows
blanket maker macklemore: i knit your granddad’s throws
sir mackle the more, knight of the great kingdom of seattle: i slay your granddad’s foes
rapper macklemore: i spit your granddad’s flows
we were sitting across from each other in the living room reblogging back and forth like it was a life-or-death yu-gi-oh duel