The Final Frontier

"Need a massage?" Rozanova asks. "From you?" The words slip out before Jane can stop them. No need to sound so eager, Hollander. "It's okay, I can wait until we get back and see a trainer." "Why? I am here and offering. You don't want to go to bed in pain, do you?" Rozanova cocks her head and smirks at her. Or, They're sharing a room. And a bed. There's so many ways this could go wrong.

hi my baby. i can absolutely do this.

firstly, i think shane is comfortable with being 'rode hard and put away wet' so to speak in the bedroom. i think he does go outside himself in the bedroom and often he ends up in a hazy, pleasure place where he feels loose and warm and mind tingly. but i think he is actually pretty okay with the emotional experience of not receiving aftercare -- in a way bc he is used to feeling something big big big then shoving it down down down. out of ilya and shane i think ilya has the most need for aftercare -- as reassurance he did sex good and gets a passing grade. sex is something he prides himself on being good at. he gives orgasms and satisfaction and he leaves behind mindmelting memories that will fuel his lovers' spank banks for nights to come (huh cum). so i think the denial of aftercare impacts ilya's psyche perhaps more than shane's. (this is mytruth about myilya, y'all are welcome to disagree.) yes, ilya is very good at masking repressing getting on with it. he had to be from the perspective of being raised by a father like grigori that expected perfection and was intolerant of humanness as an excuse for mediocracy. but i think he needs to hear 'yes' when he asks 'worth the wait?' and he needs to kiss shane sweetly on the staircase and he needs to snuggle shane after sex to feel the physical connection closeness reassurance that he so clearly craves. he is a very physical but also sensitive guy. even if he pretends otherwise. he likes to ask 'still okay?' during he likes to ask 'was okay?' after. it makes him feel good to have it be good for you as much as he is also hedonistic and relishes in the pleasure he is experiencing. it isn't as fun if the other party isn't also feeling good -- which is why shane is so specifically perfect for him because shane is dying for it in the exact same way. but he isn't a strict domtophedonist despite the fandom's obsession with that. he is also needysubtopclingmushy at times. thus denying himself aftercare in vegas, in the form of kissing shane, is actually excruitiating for him and him self-punishing/harming bc he feels like he needs to denydenydeny because he cannot havehavehave what he wants. which is shane.

anyway, this is my thesis on aftercare and it's emotional significance between these two. shane needs it, obviously, everyone needs aftercare post sex. whatever that is -- water, snack, kissy, shower, pets, whatever -- but shane is a particular breed of self-denying asshole that we have never seen the likes of before. especially pre-relationship.

OKAY. so, to get onto what you actually wanted from me, which was not a character thesis on aftercare...

the first time they fuck really rough -- i'm talking shane bent over the armrest of his couch, the lounge scraping across the floorboards, making a horrible scree sound, knocking over an ornament on the side table. shane's head pressed into the sofa cushion, ilya's palm holding him down, pushing his face into the leather so shane is unable to move, helpless but to pant gasp moan drool on the cushion. ilya fucking snapping grinding his hips so hard it hurts a little and shane is gasping nails dragging down the side of the lounge -- is what we see post-vegas in the mymoonmyman montage. shane loses their game and ilya is chirping and goading and growling at shane the whole way up the back stairs because we know -- canonically -- that ilya likes it when shane gets frustrated and pushes him around and takes his aggression out on ilya's body. so ilya is trying to rile him up. frustrate him. he succeeds, ofc. once they are inside shane's apartment shane is shoving him hard into the foyer wall and then it's kisses so hard they hurt and biting teeth and tugging, yanking, shoving at clothes until they're both naked -- in record time -- and ilya is pushing muscling shoving shane into the lounge room. absolutely overwhelmed by lust want need completely incapable of making it up the stairs. and shane doesn't want ilya in his room. he's pissed. the game sucked. he's pissed with himself. he's pissed that he wants this after the raiders humiliated him and his team. he's pissed that he's so weak to still want to be fucked after losing. he's pissed that this is all he's been able to think about all week. he's pissed that he wants wants wants so much. it's horrible. all this wanting. so, before ilya came, he made sure there was lube and condoms in the living room bc he might want rozanov inside him but he doesn't fucking want rozanov in his room -- and also the last time they'd done this had been vegas and that had been deeply impersonal. shane had learnt his lesson. keep it impersonal. so the lounge room it would be. and shane is throwing lube at rozanov and slapping a condom into his hand and bending over the couch and hiding his face in the cushion, biting on his tongue, growling out a 'fuck you' when rozanov calls him 'eager' --because he kind of hates himself but he wants this more than he hates himself and that makes him hate himself a little bit more. and he's already prepped bc he hates how vulnerable prep makes him feel and he hates how carefully rozanov always does it and rozanov is saying 'ohh you are so eager, already wet for me' and shane is snapping 'shut up and fuck me before i change my mind' and then ilya is pushing in and its... well, as noted above, its rough. and loud. couch scraping, skin slapping, grunting, cursing, shane biting out 'fuck you, fuck you, fuck you' even as ilya is laughing saying 'i think you have this the wrong way around. i am fucking you.' and shane cums, hard, his head spinning, his back and hole aching, but it feels so fucking good too. he is slumping into the cushion and breathing hard and when ilya pulls out he hisses.

there's no aftercare. ilya is still operating under some impression he can fuck shane and not get further involved -- or he can fuck shane out of his system more accurately, thus far that is failing. so he is tying off the condom and asking 'bin?' and shane is muttering 'under the kitchen sink' and ilya is throwing it away then grabbing his clothes and dressing himself as shane is still slowly rearranging his brain. unscrambling himself. when he straightens he winces and ilya pauses, eyes fixing on shane's pinched brow then darting down to shane's ass. but shane is already yanking his sweats up his legs and saying 'we won't lose to you next time' and ilya is replacing the concerned twist of his mouth with a cocky smirk and saying 'we will see' and then he's leaving -- without a shower bc they need to keep this as impersonal as possible. but he's back at the hotel later, after a shower, and his brain keeps replaying shane's pained wince afterwards, the pinch of his brow. and he's texting 'if i fucked you so hard you can't play next game does that count as illegal tampering?' and shane is sending back 'fuck off' and ilya wants to bask in how hot how good how mindmelting the sex was but he also wants to know shane is okay and he's trying to think of how to ask without sounding like he cares when shane texts again 'i'm not one of your fucking girls. i can handle it. i'm fine' and that is that.

things change as their dynamic inevitably gravitates back towards too personal too intimate too much. as they stray away from the line of casual they are both pretending they are still tiptoeing around -- they're not tiptoeing around it. they have fully sprinted far from it into something territory but that something shall remain unacknowledged for some time yet -- during each of their hookups. the sex is very often rough, or quick and dirty, occassionally it is far far too tender and when that happens they get even more weird in the after. rushing out the fucking door like they're being chased by a ghost.

before tuna meltdown, maybe at the NHL awards the year prior, they are hooking up in shane's hotel room. shane has his knees practically at his ears, legs hooked over ilya's shoulders, and ilya is fucking into him relentless and mean and mindmeltingly hot. shane is all panting and red faced and whining and burning muscles and clawing at the bedsheets and panting hiccuping gasping for air. ilya isn't doing much better. grunting and groaning and trying his best to keep himself together but the vein in his forehead is straining and he's broken into a sweat and his chest is aching it is so tightly constricted. he'd edged them both for far too long. rolling inside of shane slow and tortorous and teasing for what felt like hours but was probably at most 10 minutes. never letting either of them get too close to the edge to cum. slapping shane's hands away if he tried to touch himself -- or ilya -- growling at him to stay beneath him and just fucking take it. and shane, obviously, despite his whines of 'pleaspleaseplease' and 'moremoremore', has been very very very happy to just fucking take it. always willing to take whatever ilya was willing to give him. but ilya eventually, after half an hour of torturing them both, decided to be gracious. and now he's fucking shane hard, so hard the headboard rattles against the wall, and both of them are entirely lost to it. shane is slack jawed and wide eyed and ilya isn't even thinking when he spits into shane's mouth. and shane is groaning and cuming as he swallows and ilya is cuming as he watches shane's throat bob with the action. and they're both panting panting panting. the room is totally quiet apart from the sounds of their shaky breaths and then ilya is very gently nudging shane's legs off his shoulders and flopping down next to shane, entirely boneless, but still somehow managing to reach out and squeeze at shane's thighs, soothing the strain in his muscles.

and they lie there for probably too long. not even saying anything. but they're touching. ilya has his hand on shane's thigh and shane has subconsciously reached out to pet at ilya's curls. they're lying like that, breathing, until shane lets out a wheezing laugh. his nose scrunching and his lips spreading into a wide grin. he feels incredible. he feels so so so good. any shame or embarrassment or self-hatred he may have felt the last half a dozen times they'd done this in the immediate aftermath is repressed right now. he's all gooey good feelings and elation and adrenaline and relief. his body feels relieved. it's so good. and ilya is lifting his head and grumbling 'the fuck is funny?' and shane is shaking is head, 'nothing, fuck that was so good' he's sighing and ilya's gut aches with it. he hadn't even realised how much he's been wanting shane to say 'fuck that was good' not until he's hearing him say it. and he knows shane likes it, otherwise he wouldn't keep coming back for it. but he finds he likes hearing it. still, he can't help but be a dick 'eh, was okay for me' and shane is huffing a laugh and punching ilya's arm and saying 'fuck you, dude' and ilya is burying his grin in the pillow beneath his head. and then pushing himself up onto his elbow, leaning over shane without even thinking, and kissing him sweetly on the mouth. a lingering, dragging kiss that gets warm and wet and deep without anywhere to go. they're not gonna fuck again. there is no way he can manage that. he's just kissing shane to kiss him. and maybe it turns into a little bit of a makeout. fingers tangling in hair and mouths kissing pulling nudging dragging until both their lips are red and sore and swollen. and maybe the makeout goes to the shower and maybe ilya tries to maintain balance by at least stroking shane in the shower. but they're still just kissing after they're cuming again. so once he's out of the water ilya is dressing as fast as he can and rushing for the door but then shane is emerging with a fluffy towel around his waist and his skin is damp and flushed and his cheeks are ruddy and ilya is kissing him again, just one two three pecks on the mouth, before he is murmuring 'see you next season, hollander' and shane is humming 'have a terirble summer' and then ilya is grinning and kissing him one more time. licking into shane's mouth -- tasting him well enough to not forget him over the summer... not that ilya ever could forget the taste of him -- and then he's leaving with a soft 'bye' and closing the door firmly behind him. absolutely not grinning to himself in the elevator ride to his room.

once they're in a relationship the aftercare shifts. they have all kinds of sex at the cottage -- romantic, playful, quick, slow, exploratory, giddy, dirty, rough, silly -- and it's after the romantic sex that shane discovers he needs aftercare specifically. and ilya is all too happy to provide. the first time they fuck make love shane nearly squirms from the discomfort. he's so hot warm tingly in the face of the intimacy of it. it feels so good but also vulnerable and foreign and even though he wantsthis wantsilya wantsthem it is still so exposing to be held like this. to be spooned from behind and touched reverently and to be entirely unable to look anywhere but into ilya's eyes. they're mouths are pressing together and they're foreheads are rubbing and they're gasping 'iloveyoufuckiloveyou' and shane feels fucking on fire. he feels like he's never done anything so filthy in his life. filthy good. it's so good. but he's squirming in the intimacy and emotionality of it. (he gets used to romantic sex with time. gets used to sighing 'iloveyousomuch' as ilya touches him and pushes into him and cums inside of him. but that first time he is unprepared.) he's sosososoinlove and in the aftermath, with ilya cuming inside him without a condom, with ilya staying inside him softening afterwards, he is all clinging tears at his lash line and cracked voice as he murmurs 'you love me' and ilya feels cracked open too -- he is probably on the verge of dissolving into goo and weeping -- but he was prepared for this. he was made for this. he has always wanted this. 'i love you i love you' he's replying and kissing over shane's flushed cheeks and his wet lashes and his sniffly nose and nudging their mouths together and then he gets to take care of his boy like he's always wanted. he's kissing shane's body tenderly and stroking his thumb over shane's slick entrance and helping shane in the shower and holding him under the spray and then feeding him apple slices by hand and giving him water and then snuggling with shane on the couch and scratching at his scalp and kissing his forehead as some movie plays in the background. and it's aftercare for him too. because this makes him feel good. this makes him feel like he got an A+ in sex lover boyfriend.

obviously they are still fucking wild and rough post-i-love-yous. probably even more rough than before. rough enough to leave marks and explore new things. shane is asking to be slapped. ilya is asking to be choked. they're going multiple rounds until shane is sobbing and overstimulated. they're giving themselves and each other sex injuries the likes of which have never been seen before. but now they get to do that with 'was okay?' 'was so okay' afterwards and tender kisses and melting cuddles and gentle carresses and soft soft soft murmurs pressed into warm skin 'iloveyou youdidsowell imsoproudofyou'

Mmm. i think ilya wanted to meet The Dildo at the cottage but shane doesn't keep it there. it's back in montreal and shane was planning on being fucked by ilya for a couple weeks so he didn't see the point in packing and bringing it with him -- like he normally would. so ilya goes looking for it under the pretense of just general snooping. he is actually horny snooping. and his horny snooping turns up nothing interesting -- except maybe a spare pair of glasses shane keeps at the cottage that are even nerdier than his normal glasses and ilya is producing them like a prize and crawling on shane's lap on the couch and sexily putting them on shane's face and then fucking him about it.

my personal headcanon -- and i think it is mentioned in canon -- is that ilya buys shane sex toys for most gift-giving holidays. christmas, birthdays, valentines, one time for st patrick's day, etc. shane has everything right? except he doesn't have sex toys. and there isn't much ilya can get for him -- apart from occassionally sentimental gifts like that framed CCM photo of them or maybe once and a while he surprises shane with a get away halfway between them during the season in the long distance era and no ottawa and montreal aren't far but this is a private cabin between them for them to spend a few days at together alone and naked and peaceful. so mostly myilya buys shane sex toys. and he does actually think about them seriously. he doesn't buy gaudy toys -- mostly sleek black prostate massagers and cock rings and dildos and plugs etc. at first. over time he starts buying more and more outlandish things and colourful things and big toys as shane's confidence increases and eventually shane is buying things too and surprising ilya with fun stuff like nipple clamps. in my mind ilya has sensitive nipples.

(actually writing ilya give shane a prostate massager in my christmas fic was one of my fave sex scenes)

anyway, so i imagine ilya meets The Dildo at some point after the cottage. potentially on facetime and he gets irrationally jealous of The Dildo and shane maybe notices and plays it up a bit to stir that jealousy, performing a bit more than he usually would, enjoying the way ilya is watching the purple silicone slide in and out. so it's over facetime that ilya first sees it. watching shane getting himself off whilst he is still in boston and shane is kneeling on his bed, back to the camera, one hand holding himself open so ilya can see his hole stretching better (as per his request) as he fucks himself on it, grinding up and down. and ilya loves the show, really, but he wishes it was him and he kinda hates the stupid thing for being there instead of him. he is also deeply fond of The Dildo and the memory of 19 year old shane bashfully telling him about it and all the world of opportunity the toy opened up for them both.

[shallergies, Shane Hollander is allergic to Ilya's cum, crack treated seriously, angst]

“S’not the cleanser,” Shane says. Ilya frowns, confused. “No? What else could it be? Nothing else has touched your face tonight except–” Shane opens his eyes again just in time for the penny to drop, for his own horror to be reflected back at him on Ilya’s handsome face. “No, it can’t be.” “It is.” “No.” “It has to be, Ilya,” Shane says miserably, wishing there was some hole in his own logic but knowing there isn’t. “It started burning as soon as you, um, finished. And then when I ran in here to wipe it off, the welts were in the same pattern as where you’d, y’know…” Shane trails off, cheeks now heating from embarrassment on top of everything else. “As where my cumshot had landed on your face,” Ilya finishes dryly, though his smile quickly fades. “Fuck, Shane.” “I know.” “I really got you good," he murmurs, his thumb tracing along the worst welt that bisects Shane’s cheek, his touch featherlight. “It would almost be beautiful if you weren’t in pain, no?”

hang it in the louvre

Ilya's fingering Shane open in bed, making Shane tell him exactly what he's done before since he's a virgin.

"you have not put your dick in anybody before?"

he's pumping 2 fingers in and out, massaging his prostate roughly. Shane has been rock hard for nearly 15 minutes and he's teary eyed and floaty, and his head lolls to the side to look at Ilya.

"no, captain."

Ilya has completely neglected his dick, and the tip is an angry red.

"and you have never even touched yourself here?" He brushes his fingers against the tip of Shane's dick and he whines, hips desperately chasing the contact.

"Answer me, sweetheart."

Shane's head shakes roughly, thrashing against the pillow.

"No. never." His breath is unsteady and Shane looks up at Ilya weakly.

Ilya feels fucking possessed, and presses against his taint, stimulating his prostate from the inside and outside. Shane cries out and his hips are rocking back and forth, unsure of which sensation to chase.

"Then maybe I shouldn't either? Maybe i should let you get all wet and sticky without even touching you there."

Tears well up in of the corner of Shane's eyes but he nods frantically.

"Please captain, i feel it coming please please please."

"Poor thing. You don't even know what you're begging for, do you?"

theyre streaming down his cheeks now and shane's pupils are huge and he's letting out a near constant string of moans as he gets closer and closer to his orgasm. ilya pushes fully against his prostate again and shane cums, painting his own stomach as the aftershocks send spasms through his muscles.

"Did that count? Am I still a virgin?" Shane asks, and Ilya was tempted to fuck him right there to answer the question for him.

"Yes Shanya, you're still a innocent little virgin."

HOLY FUCKKKKKKJ

fuck!!!!!!!!!

god it makes ilya's dick so wet when shane pretends like he has no idea what his body is doing!!!

after that he would definitely just grind between shane's cheeks and shoot cum up his back with special focus on his pretty back dimples

"shh this does not count as real sex, baby. you are still such a good boy."

cue shane twisting the sheets around his fists and whimpering into the pillows and fuck he's hard for the 2nd time that night

"i feel tingly agaaaiin...."

ilya grins. "do you want to be inside someone?"

shane shakes his head and whines. "i want....." he gets red and hides his face.

"oh, sweetheart. too shy to say?"

shane nods

"i think you want something bigger than my fingers, yes?"

and shane turns his head to the side to look at ilya, eyes rimmed with unshed tears. "will i still be a good boy if you...." he trails off as he stares knowingly at ilya's rapidly growing erection

"yes baby, you will be an even better boy. only if it is just for me, okay?"

shane nods and pushes up onto his knees like he is presenting himself